December 17, 2012

"A new reality TV show has revealed the underworld of the seemingly modest Amish community of Pennsylvania..."

"...  complete with prostitutes, blackmail and assault rifles."
The Discovery Channel's 'Amish Mafia' follows Lebanon Levi and his fellow thugs as they attempt to maintain order in the insular religious community of Lancaster, beneath the veil of the supposedly idyllic lifestyles.
Sounds like a fictional comedy show... and I feel like I've seen this before in a Weird Al video. (Video after the jump.)




(Here's the original song that appropriates, in case you've forgotten. Those were simpler times.)

28 comments:

Expat(ish) said...

Ok, my reading ability stutters to a stop every time I see the phrase "assault rifle." I always have to pause to parse exactly what the person means by that phrase. IOW, are they using a cliche they don't think through, are they making a political point, or are they just ignorant of the facts.

Brrrbbhhhh.

Anyway, I caught part of the show where some Amish guys is collecting vig and all I could think was: Nice cow you got there, be a shame if it got tipped over.

Then I flipped the channel.

-XC

Jessica said...

Thanks for posting the Weird Al video. As a kid I memorized the whole song and I still chuckle at these lyrics: "A local boy kicked me in the butt last week/ but I just smiled at him and turned the other cheek./ I really don't mind in fact I wish him well/ cuz I'll be laughing my butt off when he's burning in hell." Genius.

NorthOfTheOneOhOne said...

So four of the most un-Amish guys you've ever seen are in charge of violently enforcing morality amongst the Amish? Yeah, right!

Shouting Thomas said...

We're gonna party like it's 1699! is a great line.

The media focus on the Amish is akin to some vile pervert scheming on how to pop the cherry on some virgin. The modernist mentality cannot tolerate anybody escaping the general drift into moral collapse.

People are surprised that Amish commit the same sins as everybody else? I'm always surprised by this meme. The idea seems to be that a particular religion's theological doctrine is a scam unless all its followers can prove that they were made into saints by believing in it.

Mitchell the Bat said...

It should be easy enough to name someone Stoltzfus, if authenticity is the object.

Astro said...

My favorite Weird Al video, with surprise guest star Florence Henderson.

But, the rest of it -- a faked reality show --
well, it's been said many times before, but here it is again:
I'm shocked, shocked...

Jeff said...

Actually, the original song was "Pastime Paradise" from Stevie Wonder's Songs in the Key of Life album. Back in the day when there was a lot of black music that was actually good.

Kelly said...

My daughter lives in a townhouse. The complex was having new roofs put on, while walking the dog she received catcalls from the Roofers. She told me all this and I kind of mentally shrugged. That's kind of par for the course, right? Until she added they were Amish. I couldn't stop laughing. Amish! She said they're driven to the complex in a big white van and they'll sit in the van over lunch break and stare at her and make kissing noises as she walks past.

AllenS said...

There isn't once of them that looks Amish to me. I've seen a lot of them. If they're ex-Amish, they'll change their hair style and their clothes. I call bullshit.

Mitchell the Bat said...

There's a farmer's market nearby where Mennonites sell baked goods on the weekends.

If you order more than one thing the young women have to use paper and pencil to do the arithmetic.

I just assumed they'd all be superb at doing math in their heads, same as the asians.

AllenS said...

once = one

Levi Starks said...

I watched for the first time last night, Mostly because I share the name "Levi" and I was intrigued to see how it would feel to live vicariously through the amish bad guy, "you don't want to cross Levi"
Well it was embarrassing.
Seriously.
One of the characters is obviously retarded and is being taken advantage of.
It was a little funny to see when they went in to collect "protection money" from a local amish tourist story, and the girl there complained that her sales were being hurt by chinese knockoff's
But really it was bad, I won't watch it again.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

You know....there is no REAL in reality television. 95% of the shows are staged by people who want to create the most tension, chaos and make the participants look as stupid as possible.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

I meant 95% of each show itself is staged. 100% of the shows are staged.

edutcher said...

Gee, I wonder how far they searched before they found all this?

I can't say much about the automatic weapons, but the Amish are allowed anything in the bible and, last I looked, crime in general and the oldest profession especially are there.

PS Wiki has a nice article on "assault rifles". I leave it to our vets to comment on its veracity.

EMD said...

Wow. Human nature is human nature. Go figure.

Geoff Matthews said...

There have been some credible claims that the 'reality' show 'Breaking Amish' was faked, and that the main characters were all ex-Amish. I would not be surprised if this were cut from the same cloth.

http://global.christianpost.com/news/amish-mafia-reality-show-accused-fake-premiere-discovery-channel-watch-trailer-86468/

Rusty said...

And I thought "Gold Rush" was a huge waste of time.

Michael Haz said...

Duck Dynasty is way better.

Michael Haz said...

Although Swamp Logger Moonshiner Ice Trucker Pilots is pretty good, too.

Chip Ahoy said...

I love these shows making stars out of regular people showing how they get on. That Amish guy on the scooter who wanted a car, they'll show how they finagle it even if what they're showing is staged I like it. It could haaaaappen. And the whole illicit parties getting out of hand because the English brought things they shouldn't outta bring.

Is that an idiosyncratic German they're speaking? My Mum and Nana spoke Pennsylvania Dutch to each other to block me out until I asked them was ist die wände haben ohren and they suddenly stopped it. She said it was a low German. I asked what that meant and she said is wasn't legitimate German, rather uneducated, and yet there's all this Dutch stuff all over the place like wooden shoes and cute girl and boy salt shakers, distelfinks and whirligigs, accordions, and crap like that, a lot of things that were Dutch and not German so the whole time I thought low meant as lowlander. The language these Amish whisper to each other on the show sounds nothing at all like what they spoke to block me out. They need't had bother, I didn't understand anything anyway. In any language. Even when they explained things, I didn't understand that. Only other kids made sense. Schultz nailed it with the waa waa waa thing when adults spoke in his cartoons, that was my reality.

Rustling Leaves said...

The Amish in my area are very traditional. I went to Lancaster, PA once though and I got the impression that the guy driving us around on the buggy tour was an imposter. Some of the "Amish" there were much different than the ones where I frequent a country market. I smell bullshit and bigotry.

Methadras said...

I watched this show last night and all I could was laugh my ass off the whole time. This is the fakest show i've seen to date. Oh yes, learning channel, let's film illicit and illegal activities and put them on TV and because the 'Amish' are doing it, then it's all good. I'm still laughing thinking about it.

Methadras said...

Rusty said...

And I thought "Gold Rush" was a huge waste of time.


I actually like Gold Rush. I mean, the contrived tensions of not getting the equipment you want while the undercurrent of the storyline is that all that gold is sitting there in the piles of dirt is riveting. All the while, the lingering sword of Damocles hanging over your head at the impending doom that will befall you if things don't happen the way you planned them out. I call my friend at least once a weak and tell him that we should go up to the alaskan yukon asap and find all that gold ourselves. Those rubes make it look so easy. rofl

furious_a said...

Q: What goes clip-clop-BANG!-clip-clop-BANG!-clip-clop-BANG! ?

A: An Amish drive-by shooting.

sydney said...

I thought the Amish did not allow themselves to be filmed.

Banshee said...

Pennsylvania Deutsch and Plattdietsch (Low German) are very different German dialects from very different places, which is why they sound different to you. "Low" and "High" German are descriptors of the areas the speech comes from, not of the prestige of the languages.

If the commenter above is interested, there are videos and language pages for Pennsylvania Deutsch.

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