October 9, 2012

"40 Things To Say Before You Die."

With diagrams.

122 comments:

john said...

A bucket saw.

john said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
edutcher said...

I'd think "I love you" would be #1.

In any case I have my own.

Thank you for giving me the best day (memory, etc.) I've ever had.

America's Politico said...

God is great (Peace-Be-Upon-You), please re-elect President Obama with the biggest margin ever.

O Lord (PBUY), help to destroy Romney, for he is a very evil man. He is a FRIEND Of the Devil. Just ask anyone at MSNBC.

O Creator (PBUY), make the GOP a minority in all branches of the govt.

Irene said...

I like, "I'm lucky."

And, "That's enough."

rhhardin said...

Oh, shit.

(Most popular cockpit voice recording)

Inga said...

Mine would be....kiss my ass.;)

edutcher said...

Next, Oop will accuse all the Conservatives of sexual harrassment for reading that comment.

Paul Zrimsek said...

I was expecting something more like "I've had 18 straight whiskies; I think that's the record" (Dylan Thomas) or "I'm ashamed of you boys. Why, they couldn't hit an elephant at this range!" (Gen. John Sedgwick).

Inga said...

My other last statement would be, "Fool, learn the difference between literal and figurative." :)

Nathan Alexander said...

I was expecting something like, "Hey, y'all, hold my beer and watch this."

wef said...

"Give my love to the grand kids."

Rich B said...

I'm not finished. Oh, yes you are!

ricpic said...

Famous last words:

hatboy: Buncha bigots!

rh: It's all a soap opera.

Althouse: You're not listening!

Meade: Mulch. Just mulch.

tradguy: There's none of them can hold a candle to the Scotch-Irish!

edutcher:...the Blonde...the Blonde...

Palladian: That bum deKooning caught a break, why couldn't I catch a break?!

Crack: Mormons!

Peter: Don't shave that bush!

Pogo: Commies versus My Sense of Humor? No contest.

Chip Ahoy: Get ready heaven for the greatest casserole evah!

Garage: heh heh heh

Trey: I tried but they're all nuts.

Titus: Tits. Hog. No, tits. No, ho...oh hell, Loaf!



Okay, your turn to add to the list.

Bryan C said...

"Computer! End program!"

I figure it's worth a shot.

Inga said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Inga said...

Baron Zemo: My Dear Madame!

Edutcher: Red Leather, whips!

NotquiteunBuckley said...

Ann Althouse has a theory about names, I forget it, but there must be something more to it that I had thought.

How else could Stacy Dash be important?

And how sad is it us, (supposedly by me prior) smarter than my dog, act less intelligent than him many times?

He knows tone and character are more important than just mere names, arbitrary to some extent amongst other kerfuffle-creators.

Pogo said...

"Release the Kraken!"

Pogo said...

"I did not have sex with that woman!"

Pogo said...

"Sure, the sweat lodge is completely safe. Come on in!"

Pogo said...

"Okay, campers, rise and shine, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cold out there today.
It's cold out there every day."

Pogo said...

"Did I turn off the oven when we left?"

Tim said...

#41: The S.F. Giants live to see another day. 2-1, 10th inning. Hooray.

Pogo said...

"Yes. Those jeans do make you look fat."

Pogo said...

"I can whip any of you pussies in this bar."

Pogo said...

"Say, what does this switch do?"

ricpic said...

Alex: LeftRight. RightLeft. LeftRi....

Penny: Non-sequitur non-sequitur non-sequitur.

Paul Zrimsek: With the great lines still in me I'm too clever to die!

Pogo: Mayo blockheads never knew. They NEVER KNEW!

EDH said...

"Jesus Titty-Fucking Christ."

Meade said...

Leave the leaves.

ricpic said...

Jay: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Pogo said...

Maitre D: And finally, monsieur, a wafer-thin mint.
No.
Maitre D: Oh sir! It's only a tiny little thin one.
No. Fuck off - I'm full...
Maitre D: Oh sir... it's only wafer thin.
Look - I couldn't eat another thing. I'm absolutely stuffed. Bugger off.
Maitre D: Oh sir, just... just one...
Oh all right. Just one."

Pogo said...

Et tu, Brute?

Bob Boyd said...

"Look, if he was dying he wouldn't have bothered to carve "aahhggg"
-King Arthur, Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Pogo said...

"Well, here goes nothin'."

Pogo said...

"I'm sure it's nothing."

Bob Boyd said...

Hold my beer and watch this...

Chip Ahoy said...

Here's one thing to say and do before you die. Quit spreading shit out over five pages that can fit on one page. Realize it drives off readers because the first fifth isn't good enough. Do you need a diagram? Okay, goes like this. Draw a circle and label it dumbasses who spread shit out over five pages and another circle labeled nice people who don't do that. The two circles do not touch.

Pogo said...

""Stay on the bomb run, boys! I'm gonna get them doors open if it harelips ever'body on Bear Creek!...

YEEEE-HAAAW! YEEEEEE-HAAAAWWW!"

Bob Boyd said...

Your sister and I are in love

Pogo said...

My sister and I are in love.

Pogo said...

"Hey Shaq; nice air ball, asshole."

Pogo said...

"I rewired the whole house by myself. Saved 3000 bucks."

Bob Boyd said...

I done this before...lots a times

Pogo said...

BTW, awesome Chip comment.

I stopped on the first page for exactly that reason!

Bob Boyd said...

We need to increase security in Benghazi

MadisonMan said...

Thanks for the warning, Chip, that's it's one of those annoying multi-click pages. Hate 'em.

Is one of the phrase I think I can merge just before this truck?

Pogo said...

"Hey, everyone! I'm the new drummer for Spinal Tap!"

Pogo said...

"Lemme get this straight. To get into the frat, I gotta do an alcohol enema? OK, sure."

Pogo said...

"I am here to announce my plans to skydive from just outside the atmosphere."

wyo sis said...

Things to say in your life would be more to the point.
Pogo's are more like things you say right before you die and they're much funnier.

MadisonMan said...

I don't need a life preserver.

Pogo said...

I know, wyo sis, but it's just too hard not to skewer.

MadisonMan said...

Honey do we have any matches? I can't see if the pilot light is out!

Pogo said...

"I want to be one with the tigers."

edutcher said...

"They'd never attack now".

"Let's take it and bring it inside the city".

"Sir, you know all those men the enemy doesn't have? Well, they're right outside".

"You really expect me to prep for this?".

wyo sis said...

Freeman Hunt: "But, I still have things I want to read."

McTriumph said...

The President and Anne Romney sure looked good at Ryan's inauguration.

Pogo said...

"Behind me is Ed and Rowdy, members of an up-and-coming sub-adult gang. They're challenging everything, including me. Goes with the territory. If I show weakness, if I retreat, I may be hurt, I may be killed. I must hold my own if I'm gonna stay within this land. For once there is weakness they will exploit it, they will take me out, they will decapitate me, they will chop me into bits and pieces. I'm dead. But so far, I persevere. Persevere."

Pogo said...

"We've traced the calls... They're coming from inside the house."

Pogo said...

"Look! It's moving. It's alive. It's alive... It's alive, IT'S ALIVE!"

David said...

"Of course I'll respect you."

Pogo said...

"So what happens if I take both these pills together?"

Carnifex said...

Pogo on his manic cycle tonight.

"Are we there yet?"

And #2 should be #1 on the list. You can't fully experience the last, without experiencing all the others, first. (#2 was "I love you.")

Was the bombrun quote from Dr. Strangelove? I haven't seen it in 40+ years.

Some other great sayings--

"I'm shocked. Shocked I tell you"

"One giant leap for mankind"

I'm NOT touching you!

Where's the beef?

So help me God, if I have to pull this car over!

You'll need glasses

You'll go blind.

You get hair on your palms.

Jesus cries when you do that.

(okay. Maybe not that one...in your house)

Pogo said...

Somebody's gotta be Lem, if Lem ain't being Lem.

Inga said...

"So what happens if I take both these pills together?"

10/9/12 10:27 PM

Haha great one Pogo!

Carnifex said...

I promise not to come.(take that scatelogically or not)

My eye's are up here.(for de womins)

Where's a cop when you need one?

NotquiteunBuckley said...

Conflagration.

chickelit said...

The sky did not fall.

chickelit said...

"Safety belts? Too confining.
Besides, they wrinkle my dress."

Carnifex said...

Hold my purse.(another for the ladies)

Were you just looking at her?

Men.(seems to be the all purpose one in my experience)

NotquiteunBuckley said...

"As winds shifted, they forced the massive High Park fire to blow back on itself in at least some areas."

She said.

Lem said...

Somebody's gotta be Lem, if Lem ain't being Lem.

Wow..

MadisonMan said...

I don't want to run back to the clubhouse in the rain. I'll just wait under this tree.

MadisonMan said...

How hard can this double black diamond be?

David said...

"I give up, Michelle. We're going to Hawaii to live."

MadisonMan said...

That car will stop for me. I'm a pedestrian. It's the law.

wyo sis said...

Notquiteun

best quote---"If I choose to go up there, that's my choice as a life form on this planet,"

reformed trucker said...

I can't believe I wasted my time reading all 5 pages. The only meaningful ones were 1 & 2, and she had them in the wrong order.

If it was silly last words, I'd go with "Hold my beer, I'm gonna try sumptin'...".

And it's obvious that ricpic spends WAY too much time here, because he NAILED Ann's cast of characters. Well done.

Pogo said...

I was referring to your late night rhapsodic soliloquies, Lem.

Ain't seen one for a long while, though. Six months, maybe more.

Pogo said...

Offense unintended, my good man; so my apologies if I gave any in my haste.

Lem said...

Chip is right. I didnt make it past the first page.. there is something about dying thats a turn off.. but now that Pogo has mentioned me (the honor is mine)..

Lets see.. one for Obama.

"I should have tried the 47%."

edutcher said...

"Well, actually, dear, it makes your ass look like 2 Virginia hams shrink-wrapped in shocking pink latex".

"THOSE are REAL?"

"Honey, look over there. Isn't she the most beautiful woman you've ever seen?"

"She'll never find out".

Chip Ahoy said...

Do you get any hummingbirds at your place up there?

reformed trucker said...

"I should have tried the 47%."

He did; they just started running that ad here in Wisconsin... multiple times tonight within a few hours.

Lem said...

I was referring to your late night rhapsodic soliloquies, Lem.

Oh.. I was goign to say I was waiting for inspiration but.. avoiding the drink might also have something to do with it.

But sure.. as long as there are cafes..

btw.. I bought another Ipod through the Althouse Amazon Port last week.. dont know if it did what it was supposed to.. knowwhatimean... saynomore.

Lem said...

Offense unintended, my good man; so my apologies if I gave any in my haste.

I dont get offended that easily..

Unless you are Althouse and you go to some feverish website accusing Rush..

Oh.. never mind.. is just too painfull ;)

edutcher said...

"Ann, no way are we sitting through another night of "My Dinner With Andre".

"Laurence, you can't have your picture taken wearing those. If someone sees you in them, I'll be a laughingstock from one end of this country to the other".

Lem said...

Do you get any hummingbirds at your place up there?

If thats for me.. I cant say as I have.

Although if you are selling them Iwould be happy to consider getting one.

ricpic said...

reformed trucker - thanx for the compliment and you're right, I do spend WAY too much time here. It's called not having a life.

NotquiteunBuckley said...

He is the best little Rascal that ever Rascalled: He's most Rascialists of Rascallers ever.


Barnett.

The Crack Emcee said...

I got turned off before finishing the first page, but maybe one of you can tell me:

Is "Fuck All Y'all!" in there anywhere?

Go ahead and say it before you die, I guarantee you'll feel better,...



Michael Haz said...

It's okay, I set the power level to "stun".

Pogo said...

"Look, hon. With the long extension cord, now I can watch TV in the bathtub!"

Pogo said...

Nice doggie....

Meade said...

I don't know - maybe palling around with Bill Ayers wasn't such a good idea after all.

Rusty said...

What monkeys?

Curious George said...

After reading Pogo's contribution I am hesitant to add, but here it goees:

"You can't add too much water to a nuclear reactor"

phx said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pogo said...

"I can flyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!.........."

Pogo said...

"Rosebud."

Pogo said...

"Cool! There's bear in my backyard!"

Lem said...

Along the lines of rh.. and from the NYC subways 'If you see something say something' campaign...

"Should there be wires hanging underneath your seat?"



Tank said...

Pretty disappointed that ricpic did not flag me saying either:

Con man gonna con.

or

DEAD COUNTRY WALKING.

Damn.

I'm so alone.

Tim said...

"I'm so alone."

Forget it, Tank. It's Althouse.

Lem said...

"Rosebud."

"I like to see that one more time" ;)

MadisonMan said...

I'll just cut the red wire.

Tank said...

MM made me actually LOL.

phx said...

"I accept the full responsibility for my life and my death."

Bob Ellison said...

A fellow cross-country teammate in high school had his own catch phrase: "This sucks."

traditionalguy said...

Help me get from here to there . Pilgrims are always going home.

Penny said...

"What a long, strange trip it's been!"

Rusty said...

Here. Hold this.

Rusty said...

Nahh! They don't bite.

The Crack Emcee said...

phx,

"I accept the full responsibility for my life and my death."

Spoken like someone who's never been divorced, or married, or born.

Or did you have something to do with that last one?

This is a world of tools,...

phx said...

It's my philosophy Crack. I also hold no one else reponsible or accountable to me.

From my point of view, it's my responsibility to live up to, not yours.

The Crack Emcee said...

phx,

It's my philosophy Crack.

Change it - it's not always true. Life throws us curves, and sometimes, how we recover isn't even exclusively in our hands - if we can at all.

It's cruel bordering on evil, if someone's in that situation, to insist it's not so. That they can do the impossible. You - man without legs - you can walk, damn it, you just have to believe my philosophy. And, if you can't, you didn't believe enough.

It's "The Secret" on steroids,...

phx said...

Rest assured, I'm not insisting on you or anyone else accepting the full responsibility for your life -I insist on it only for myself.

Accepting responsibility for myself is hardly cruel or evil to you.

phx said...

To insist you live by my philosophy would be accepting the responsibility for you, which I'm surely not going to do.

The Crack Emcee said...

phx,

To insist you live by my philosophy would be accepting the responsibility for you, which I'm surely not going to do.

Oh, believe me, I know - I've known it since I first discovered the cult problem and learned nobody was going to do anything about it, no matter who they kill, or whatever else they do. It's a total lack of societal responsibility. Nobody's going to snatch a kid by the collar and say you shouldn't beat up old people - not their responsibility. Nobody's going to do shit.

Meanwhile, my stupid ass was out there spending my life saving lives and defending the weak like an idiot, right?

Man, it must be fun to position yourself as noble while destroying everything,...

phx said...

Yeah, I don't believe in so-called "societal responsibilty" - I have a responsibility for myself. That doesn't mean I don't help or care about others or I don't recognize injustice, or I won't intervene if some old lady is getting mugged. It doesn't mean I flaunt the law.

One thing it does mean though is that I never blame anyone for shit that happens in my life. It's my responsibilty to see to that shit, however bad it is, and you never hear me whining about it or saying "it's THEIR fault". Never.

What you do with your stupid ass is entirely up to you and of no concern to me. But go ahead and cry and fret til your poor heart breaks because I'm not fixing your shit for you or anyone else you think I should fix shit for and you have to do it aww by your widdle sewf!

Kevin Walsh said...

Nothing beats "Good-bye boys -- I die a true American."