July 26, 2012

"She was adamant that... it was not possible that she mistook the drum sticks for his penis."

"Ayers told deputies that he is a drummer who commutes between Jacksonville to Daytona Beach and he frequently simulates playing the drums while driving by hitting his steering wheel with drum sticks.... 'The drum sticks were a natural wood color and closely resembled Ayers's own skin color'...."

Another he said/she said case.

48 comments:

chickelit said...

Ayers was beating off rhythm behind the wheel? The problem with his alibi is that it lacks girth and therefore mirth.

James said...

If the drum sticks fit, you must acquit.

gbm said...

"sex act on himself while driving a Chevrolet Astro Van"

How could she see anything but the top of the steering wheel?

Nathan Alexander said...

Unless she was driving a semi, the angles seem all wrong for her to have seen what she claimed she saw.

ricpic said...

Did they check his dick for black and blue marks?

Rob said...

As the joke about the armless midget concludes, "How do you think I rang the doorbell?"

AllieOop said...

Maybe she was comparing him to her husband and got confused?

The Farmer said...

What do you call a guy who hangs around musicians?

Hagar said...

Drummers also tend to act out their drumming, and a woman with sex on her mind could easily mistake that for a male version of Meg Ryan in that coffeeshop skit.

And now she certainly is not going to admit to being mistaken.

AndyN said...

I'm not sure I would have told the police that a woman confused my penis with something that's about 1.5" in circumference.

The article doesn't say - I'm wondering if the police wrote her a traffic citation. I can understand glancing into the vehicle next to you and noticing the driver has something in his hand. I can't understand how you can "glance" long enough to be absolutely certain what it was without distracting yourself from what you're supposed to be doing while operating your own vehicle.

Nathan Alexander said...

Since she took his license plate and followed him from that point, he might have a good case for getting a restraining order from her stalking.

Nathan Alexander said...

I'm not sure I would have told the police that a woman confused my penis with something that's about 1.5" in circumference

That sounds like good evidence he's telling the truth, no?

Since this is "he said/she said" and her claims cannot be proven, then how does a judge rule?

I think I would think of it this way:
If he had his penis out and was performing a sex act on himself as he drove (doubtful), and she drove by and saw it (seems unlikely due to the angles necessary to see into the lap of a man driving a van), was she really harmed by a quick glance?

Probably not.

On the other hand, if he really was just drumming on the wheel, and she didn't see what she thought she saw, sending him to jail because she misinterpreted what she saw in a quick glance would be an extreme injustice.

As a judge, I might decide to rule "not guilty due to not enough evidence to convict", but I would do so with the confidence that I did the least possible harm.

Pogo said...

"♫ She's gonna love me in my Chevy van. And that's all right with me. ♫"

campy said...

Since this is "he said/she said" and her claims cannot be proven, then how does a judge rule?

For the woman. They never lie, you know.

EMD said...

Certainly worthy of a 911 call.

t-man said...

When the police found the drumsticks in the front seat, he should have been let go and that should have been the end of it. There is no way that a jury could legally convict the guy under the "beyond a reasonable doubt" standard.

edutcher said...

Yes, people confuse the two all the time.

Hope the judge has a sense of humor.

Chip Ahoy said...

He should say, "Had she seen me sitting there politely with my hands folded on my lap she'd be charging me for that too.

Your Honor, I too am an honorable man but it hasn't yet caught on as a title for me yet, it's gotten to the point now out there where a professional drummer cannot even practice their craft in public without a proper drum kit to clue suspicious observers, for I am a drummer as well, and we drummer types practice all day long on every object we touch, it's most annoying actually, I almost was divorced by pounding on that hollow statue of a cow too long because its resonate intonations and shifts in pith were mesmerizing to myself but I digress, watch, goes like this whappity whappity whappity whappity whappity whappity whappity whappity whappity whappity wap

see? A drummer. I'm a drummer. We do that." And make it look as close to masturbation in that specific demonstration as possible to show how easy the blur is to confuse.

EDH said...

In many states a citizen's report that another car is weaving is not probably cause for police to pull the driver over.

A little different here, but if I get the woman's story straight, ahem, she alleges he was striking the steering wheel with his penis?

(Hey, that's a new expression for masturbation: "striking the steering wheel".)

Hard to believe she could see that unless he was driving an jeep or mail truck with the door open.

James said...

Rush is talking about this story right now.

traditionalguy said...

They need to giver this sharp eyed lady a Neighborhood Highway Watch award and tell her to go forth and find more criminals. The morality force be with you.

In Daytona Beach, the home of bikinis and motorcycle gang riders, the jurors will laugh this one out of court.

rhhardin said...

It's a he saw she saw case.

Christopher in MA said...

He should have taken a page from Ringo Starr and yelled I GOT BLISTERS ON MY FINGERS!

Chip S. said...

[rimshot]

Beach Brutus said...

A bit gross but not irrelevant:

473 So.2d 268, 10 Fla. L. Weekly 1806


District Court of Appeal of Florida,
First District.
STATE of Florida, Appellant,
v.
John Ted WRIGHT, Appellee.


No. BA-455.

July 26, 1985.
Rehearing Denied Aug. 21, 1985.


Defendant was convicted in the Circuit Court, Duval County, James L. Harrison, J., of sexual battery and kidnapping, and he appealed. The District Court of Appeal, Mills, J., held that: (1) trial court did not abuse its discretion in refusing to admit, pursuant to defense that rapes were unlikely or impossible because of large size of defendant's penis, photographs and model of defendant's penis, and in refusing to allow defendant to display his actual penis to the jury; and (2) reasons provided for departing in defendant's favor from sentencing guidelines were not clear and convincing, as they merely reflected that trial court was not convinced defendant was guilty.


Convictions affirmed; sentences vacated and case remanded for sentencing.

William said...

Isn't practicing drumming more distracting for a driver than masturbating? You can masturbate with one hand, but the drumming takes two. Safe drivers don't practice drum riffs on the interstate. On the other hand (heh), you would probably have to unloosen your seat belt to properly masturbate. Neither habit is consistent with safe driving. Fine him for reckless driving and let the matter rest......Have you ever noticed how many people pick their nose with total abandon when they sit alone in their car? Perhaps this was a variation of the nose picking syndrome.

MadisonMan said...

It was very disturbing to her. So disturbing that she just kept on looking. And looking. And looking.

What the world doesn't need: Biddy Busybodies. (No reference to the former UW Chancellor intended).

Patrick said...

She stated it was not possible that she mistook the drum sticks for his penis.

I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that the above sentence had never, in all of human history, been written or uttered before.

Leland said...

Reminds me of the lady that cut across someone elses lawn and caught the man naked at the window. Hey nosey ladies, pay attention to what you are doing and these guys won't bother you.

leslyn said...

I am absolutely sure that she was mistaken. She saw his penis and mistook it for a drumstick.

Anyway, if she didn't like what she saw, stop looking.

Ralph L said...

Eat Mor Chikin

Cedarford said...

"Another he said, she said case".

Yes, exactly. The man has his name broadcast everywhere, while the female accuser is given complete anonymity.
Because we ALL don't want brave, fearless women to be reluctant to come forth and make accusations on any deviant male conduct, or doing drumming or air guitaring in cars that COULD be sexually deviant if the woman has bad eyes - DO WE???

MayBee said...

It was very disturbing to her. So disturbing that she just kept on looking. And looking. And looking.

What the world doesn't need: Biddy Busybodies.


No kidding, MadMan.

Brian Goins said...

For a timely discussion of the issue in Indiana of whether we should require corroborating evidence when certain offenses are supported only by the testimony of a single witness and the incredible dubiosity rule, see: http://indianalawblog.com/archives/2012/07/ind_decisions_i_125.html

Rusty said...

He's got two!!!







Can they do that?

Fred Drinkwater said...

Look, of course the woman is a loon or lying.
The real problem is "musicians" with drivers licenses.
In the instant case, this guy's defense is that he was drumming on the wheel while driving? Book him, Danno.
A few months ago I was passed (on the right, no less) on I-280 by a guy doing maybe 80 mph, who (at a side glance) appeared to be vigorously waving BOTH hands in front of his face. Curiosity overcame judgement, and I caught back up to him. After maybe 20 seconds, I concluded he must be CONDUCTING. I could not tell how he was steering; probably with his knee. Judgement kicked back in, and I distanced myself from his car.

Ann Althouse said...

I think she only saw his upper body and his face, and the arm movement and dopey drummer face seeme masturbatory. The rest was in her head.

But why would you call 911 for this?

BTW, if Rush talked about this today, I think he got it from me, because the story is from a month ago.

Ann Althouse said...

Seemed

caplight45 said...

Late Monday night I was coming into Dubuque, Iowa on US 151 on my way to Wisconsin. I was having a grand old time singing along with a CD of Billy Vera and the Beaters when I got pulled over for speeding. A very nice police officer chatted with me for a while and then gave me a warning. Glad he didn't think I was doing something naughty.

BTW I can assure you it isn't only drummers who use the steering wheel for percussion. I do it all the time.

bagoh20 said...

Imagine if a man told the cops he saw a woman's breast, and subsequently followed her. He should be suing her for defamation.

EMD said...

You can masturbate with one hand

Speak for yourself ; )

WV: rhartin (rhardin?)

Cedarford said...

bagoh20 said...
Imagine if a man told the cops he saw a woman's breast, and subsequently followed her. He should be suing her for defamation.

===========
Funny, but when a couple of young Goth or Biker chicks flashed their tits at me passing in the fast lane on I-95 in Florida, with my wife with me on vacation...

All I could think to do was give them a thumbs up and a smile.
They were fairly hot, and the tits were 18-22 year old prime stuff.

I think the reaction if I had taken their license number down and complained to the cops would have been:
"WTF is wrong with you!"
"Duly noted, we'll get right on it. Enjoy your vacation in Florida."
"Did you see any sex toys being used? Do you think they would appreciate a Hero in Uniform that keeps them safe from terrorists and Evildoers...Or did they look like switch - hitters? My female partner "Mitchy" is very interested if so."

AllenS said...

Masterbeating.

alan markus said...

I imagine he could be acquitted if the evidence doesn't stand up in court.

Harold said...

He was driving an Astro van- no note of what she was driving, but if it were a car-

HOW THE HELL DID SHE SEE THE DIRTY DEED?

Cop should never have written a ticket. Now, it is up to the judge to throw it out of court.

Ralph L said...

BTW, if Rush talked about this today, I think he got it from me, because the story is from a month ago
All the posts on here, and he picks up the dick story. You should ask him to hang you a hattip to drum up some page hits.

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