May 18, 2012

What do you say to the woman who consciously loathes Scott Walker, but has sexual dreams about him?

Well, the Isthmus advice columnist "Tell All" told her:
Clip out the sexiest Tom Barrett photos you can find in newspapers or campaign literature. Scatter them around your house, and save the best one for the bedroom. Look at it every night before you go to sleep. With any luck, your subconscious will do the rest by supplying you with a more suitable sexual partner in your dreams.
And then Meade stopped by the comments. Noting first her line "I should mention that I'm happily married, with an attractive husband," Meade said:
Man, talk about damning with faint praise! Dear Violated: First of all you have not been violated. You have been the violaTOR... of your marriage, of your husband's due respect, and of your own fantasies.



Photos of Tom Barrett? Tell All needs to turn in his newspaper-advice-columnist badge. And the last thing you need is to waste your time with a psychotherapist.

What you need to do is to practice sweet surrender to your husband so that, with any luck, he will discover his manhood and learn that what his wife and most heterosexual women want more than anything is to be sexually dominated by a man who will stand up and be strong, decisive, and confident.

Try this, Violated: Everyday, tell your husband that you approve of him, that you love everything about him, and that he has your open consent and carte blanche in your sexual relationship. Together, just the two of you, over and over again, watch scenes like this one from the movie Casablanca where Ilsa tells Rick that he will have to do the thinking for both of them.

Good luck, Violated. Try to give up thinking of yourself as a victim and remember, if things don't work out in your private love life, you will always have Scott Walker.
Background reading: a column from "Tell All" from April 4, 2009, titled "Should UW law prof Ann Althouse marry her commenter Meade?"

ADDED: Instapundit says: "MEH. CHICKS DIG THE BAD BOYS... In her measly little world, he’s the ultimate bad boy." Exactly.

52 comments:

Chip Ahoy said...

O

Deb said...

She shouldn't have read Fifty Shades of Grey before bed. Or in bed.

AllieOop said...

Wayyy TMI, all around.

But good and juicy.

Sorun said...

From the old Tell All link: "Now, Obama may be a lot of things, but a "boneheaded megalomaniac"?"

Hilarious! Yes, he is! I love the little time-travel, and Obama hasn't changed one bit.

Patrick said...

God Bless Meade for keeping those clowns occupied so they can't do any real damage to society.

campy said...

What do you say to the woman who consciously loathes Scott Walker, but has sexual dreams about him?

Nothing. Just smile and edge away cautiously.

Ann Althouse said...

"God Bless Meade for keeping those clowns occupied so they can't do any real damage to society."

We call it: Occupy Clowns.

walter said...

"Shame, shame, shame."

Amartel said...

Progressives: their lips say no, no, no conservatives but their subconscious says yes, yes, YES. Here, have a cig.
And, yeah, that sad Isthmus lady automatically assumes she's the victim, like she's being subconsciously raped by poor Scott Walker. And what does the advice columnist suggest? Hey, take steps to get subconsciously raped by Barrett instead!
It's funny and sad all at once.

edutcher said...

The more I see (and hear) of Meade, the more I like him - a stand-up guy who's man enough to love his wife and do right by her.

PS I take it he spanks you when you're a naughty Professor.

WV "pporkit" (no kidding) What Petunia says when she's ready.

chickelit said...

The whole story gives me Schaden Freud.

I hope she gets what she's got coming.

RebeccaH said...

I think the poor lady needs a psychotherapist no matter what she does to stymie her unwanted dreams. Not because she had the dream, mind you, because normal people occasionally have dreams about celebrities and other public figures. No, she needs to talk to someone about her need to confess all to an online advice column as if such a thing were a life-crippling event.

It's a sure sign her politics have warped her ability to think things through.

Matthew Sablan said...

Stupid sexy Walker... it feels like he's wearing nothing at all.

Malvolio said...

Wow, about the only thing I've ever read online creepier than this woman's bizarre love/hate thing with her governor is Meade's fascination with "dominance". Seriously, I hope he's just struggling with his homosexuality, because all the other explanations I can think of are worse.

RebeccaH said...

Btw, Meade, I applaud your outlook, but I balk at the "carte blanche" in a married couple's sex life. There are two people in a marriage, and they rightly should engage in a healthy sex life, but "carte blanche" is sometimes asking for trouble.

X said...

What do you say to the woman who consciously loathes Scott Walker, but has sexual dreams about him?

that making her nod is apparently not the best way to trick her out of her panties.

Saint Croix said...

"Balance the budget, balance the budget, balance the budget, oh, oh oh, oh, BALANCE THE BUDGET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Ann Althouse said...

"... but I balk at the "carte blanche" in a married couple's sex life..."

Balkers for Walker!

chickelit said...

Malvolio said...
Wow, about the only thing I've ever read online creepier than this woman's bizarre love/hate thing with her governor is Meade's fascination with "dominance".

Relax Malvolio--she sounds like the type who enjoys getting a wad in her panties. Just like you do.

Saint Croix said...

ooo, baby, give me that fiscal discipline.

Dante said...

Your female nature is battling the false societal mores being forced on you.

Dante said...

P.S. Go Meade!

Mooner said...

She signs her message as "Violated", as though Scott Walker forcefully inceptioned himself into her sex dreams. If Walker does indeed have such power, I'd hope he'd use it on someone like Kate Upton or Natalie Portman, instead of some libtard public employee.

Mwalimu Daudi said...

Clip out the sexiest Tom Barrett photos you can find in newspapers or campaign literature.

Those would be the pictures where he is not actually visible.

Roman said...

What to say? How about: "Get a Life!"

AllieOop said...

Walker the Incubus.

X said...

Dear Isthmus Tell All,

I never believed these stories were actually true...until last night.

Michael K said...

Thanks for a laugh. You just can't make this stuff up. It's one reason I don't think I can write fiction.

Mark said...

X: Bob Guccione approves of your comment from whatever Penthouse he currently inhabits.

sane_voter said...

In my marriage, I don't have Carte Blanche, but I do have Diners Club.

wv: posaboo

Maguro said...

Strange...I have the same issue, only with Kathleen Falk. It's a little disturbing, but man, thoshe are shome hot dreamsh!

section9 said...

I seriously CANNOT believe that some women are having fantasies about Scott Walker.

Now, I'm a guy. I can understand having fantasies about Rebecca Kleefisch...

tim maguire said...

Reminds me of an old(ish) saying: no woman ever fantasized about being ravaged by a hippie.

roesch/voltaire said...

When Meade writes, "practice sweet surrender to your husband..." he encourages acting, just as this column encourages smirks as we read the common trope of "needing to take long hot showers" after the forbidden dream knowing both the column and the comments are made-up ideological phantasies suitable for the "Handmaid's Tale.

Petunia said...

What do you say? You say, "Nice fake letter, Isthmus, you pathetic rag! You'll stoop to anything to criticize Governor Walker".

Meade said...

Madison Woman: I can't fight it anymore. I voted against you once. I can't do it again. Oh, I don't know what's right any longer. You have to think for both of us. For all of us.
Governor Walker: All right, I will. Here's looking at you, kid.
Madison Woman: [smiles] I wish I didn't love you so much.

Canuck said...

Between this and the 50 shades of grey posts --

TMI!

wtlf555 said...

I've been single for 7 years and man is there a difference - not between liberal and conservative women - but between liberal and NOT. Liberal women have spent much of their lives learning to loathe femeninity and masculinity. Sexually they are in a state of anxiety and confusion - outwardly damming maleness and femaleness while secretly reading "50 Shades of Grey" fertively glancing to make sure no one sees.

t-man said...

I wish I had Carte Blanche or Diner's Club - unfortunately, all I've got is American Express.

AllieOop said...

Canuck, see what you've done, now I have to go over and read the 50 Shades of Grey thread, damn!

pj (lowercase) said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ron said...

We call it: Occupy Clowns.

Clownupy!

Jason said...

Geez, libtards are pathetic creatures, aren't they?

Paging Roissy in D.C.! Please pick up the white courtesy phone! Roissy in D.C., please pick up the white. courtesy. phone.

Jason (the commenter) said...

I thought a woman's sexuality was always right. Isn't something along those lines in order?

At the very least they should have sent her some pictures of Chris Christie signing bills into law.

Phil 3:14 said...

Female version of this.

Henry said...

There's a guy here in New England who runs a chain of discount furniture stores and advertises on Red Sox radio broadcasts. His most recent ad starts with "they call me the disrupter..."

That's Meade. "They call me the disrupter..."

Chip Ahoy said...

A girl at work, she changed my life she did, she had a whole new attitude about work that I never saw before and it did work for her and that made me think, Jeeze, these new kids are different and that changed everything, said, there's the verb in this sentence, that she and her new husband were playing around trying experimentive things. I guess experimentive isn't a word then. And they were all got up in their sexy outfits and he handcuffed her to the bed and then cracked a whip, apparently a whip came with the costume sex kit I'm imagining, or perhaps they bought items separately, I really don't know, and she cried and he goes, "aaaah baby," and that was the end of that. And I go hahahaha you two loons kill me.

Synova said...

I don't blame anyone for what their subconscious does, but that's not the same as trying *on purpose* to invoke sexual dreams about a real person.

If you're going to do that, I tend to agree with Meade. If you've got someone you're supposed to be faithful to, being faithful starts inside your own head.

In any case... the real answer for the lady having icky Walker dreams, is to examine her waking fixation on him, and recognize that her *loathing* gives him power over her, so maybe she'd be mentally healthier if she stopped hating so much.

Synova said...

There's really not much of anything to say about this that isn't TMI. LOL.

So... when *you* have a sex dream with a bizarre person/thing and you wake up and you... I mean, it's *funny* right? Unless it's gross, then it's not funny, but generally something involving a politician is hysterical. (Okay... TMI? I'm distressingly faithful in my dream life but the one time... it was Rush Limbaugh... I shook my head over *that* one for years. Not for a moment did I wonder if I "had something" for him... never ever did. It was brain noise and *hysterical*.)

Also... I really *really* don't like "dominance" but that's not at all the same thing as "I can't keep my hands off you, I want you *now*, and I want to do *this* to you..," Because I think it's true that what people (women) want most is to be wanted, and desired, and they want to make the other person just a little bit crazy.

But that's not "you don't have a choice in this" either for reals or for play-acting.

Danno said...

From everything I've seen in some recent posts like this referencing Isthmus, Meade has no problem single- handedly rebutting these clowns.

David said...

I recommend the Discover card. Carte Blanche with a surprise ending.

Chris Lopes said...

I give Meade 10+ points for the Casablanca reference. It was very funny and very fitting.

This lady seems to be having the same issues with Walker that a lot of liberal columnists have with Sarah Palin. They hate the lady, but can't seem to stop obsessing about how attractive she is. It's like she's that really hot girl in H.S. that they lusted after but never had a chance at. The hornier she makes them, the angrier they get at her. It's an interesting dynamic.