April 6, 2012

"The slogan I came up with was Crows: We Want to Be Your Only Bird.™"

An old article, remembered this morning while observing nature in our backyard:
I would not have taken this job if I did not believe, strongly and deeply, in the crows. And I do. I could go on and on about the crows’ generosity, taste in music, sense of family values; the 'buddy system' they invented to use against other birds, the work they do for the Shriners, and more. But they’re paying me a lot of bottles to say this—I can’t expect everybody to believe me. I do ask, if you’re unconvinced, that you take this simple test: Next time you’re looking out a window or driving in a car, notice if there’s a crow in sight. Then multiply that one crow by lots and lots of crows, and you’ll get an idea of what the next few years will bring. In the bird department, no matter what, the future is going to be almost all crows, almost all the time. That’s just a fact.

So why not just accept it, and learn to appreciate it, as so many of us have already? The crows are going to influence our culture and our world in beneficial ways we can’t even imagine today. Much of what they envision I am not yet at liberty to disclose, but I can tell you that it is magnificent. They are going to be birds like we’ve never seen. In their dark, jewel-like eyes burns an ambition to be more and better and to fly around all over the place constantly. They’re smart, they’re driven, and they’re comin’ at us. The crows : Let’s get ready to welcome tomorrow’s only bird.

22 comments:

SGT Ted said...

Funny, those reasons are why people shoot them. Because they take over and drive out other song birds.

rhhardin said...

Radio Japan reported the panhandling crow problem.

It's not that some people feed them so much as that if you don't feed them, they mug you.

ricpic said...

Somedays I wake up to crow wars
Caw Caw Caw;
Bad as people and who knows what
For For For?

Scott M said...

If you want to kill a crow, just fire a blank at it. Worked for Brandon...

Christopher in MA said...

A pint of plain is your only man.

Paddy O said...

What's funny is that when I was younger I used to see lots and lots of crows.

Now I tend to see more of their larger cousin, ravens. They're larger and have more distinctive and varied vocalizations so they're easy to spot.

Where the ravens are the crows seem to go away.

The whole world wide, every day, fly Hugin and Munin; I worry lest Hugin should fall in flight, Yet more I fear for Munin.

Paul Zrimsek said...

Funny guy, Ian Frazier. If you've got kids, you've probably been forwarded this at least once.

purplepenquin said...

Read this and you'll never look at crows the same way again.

*shudder*

That aside, it seems as if the author had an underlying message he was trying to get across...or am I reading too much into it?

Dust Bunny Queen said...

We have a LOT of crows and some ravens in our area. You see them all the time in the fields.

That article was very funny and summarized how I feel about crows.

Crows are very serious. When you see them, they just seem "busy" and on a mission. They will be aware of you but...they are busy right now. "Excuse me, I have a pressing appointment with these rodents...we are going to do a merger...if you get my drift."

Goats are clownish and amusing.
Many people raise goats in our valley for meat and milk. Goats always make me want to laugh just looking at them.

Goats are also aware of you and interested in what might be in it for them if you approach. They want to hang out with you (and jump on top of your car). If you stand around in the field or yard long enough just talking, you will suddenly be surrounded by the herd. "Hey. What's up?"

John Cunningham said...

When I moved to Alaska, I was impressed by the ravens, active at -50F, hangning around the dumpsters at the Airport Rd McDonalds in Fairbanks. they are amazing birds! Bernd Heinrich has a couple of great books on them, The Mind of the Raven and Ravens in Winter. highly worth a read.

Jeff with one 'f' said...

"Next time you’re looking out a window or driving in a car, notice if there’s a crow in sight. Then multiply that one crow by lots and lots of crows, and you’ll get an idea of what the next few years will bring....

So why not just accept it, and learn to appreciate it, as so many of us have already? The crows are going to influence our culture and our world in beneficial ways we can’t even imagine today."

This reads like the lefty position on illegal immigrants...

edutcher said...

A lot of crows where we are.

Rather see them than a hawk.

Col Mustard said...

DBQ, great riff on goats. Way more fun than 'normal' creatures!

Paddy O said...

"A lot of crows where we are.

Rather see them than a hawk."

Some of the most amazing sights I've seen are when a couple of ravens take on a hawk. It's like WWI aerial dogfighting, inverted barrel rolls, talons extended, dazzling aerial gymnastics. Masters of the art of flying going wing to wing.

Hawks are serious about it. I think the ravens are playing. Ravens seems to spend most of their day amusing themselves.

Crows play too. Ever seen them gather above an open field, hundreds flying in from all over to enjoy the festivities of clearly enjoying aerial flight?

T J Sawyer said...

Crows are very intelligent birds. Also quite family-oriented.

They are widely discriminated against, however. I've always assumed it it because of their color.

Bushman of the Kohlrabi said...

Crows are neighborhood bullies. I'll stick with the fun-loving goldfinch or the inquisitive chickadee. Even the humorless robin would be more appealing.

Bushman of the Kohlrabi said...

My wife prefers to think of me as a wood pecker.

PatCA said...

Delightful article! I used to have lots of crows in the yard. That seemed to stop when the cat took up residence there. I wonder what they're planning for the cats...

Dust Bunny Queen said...

Even the humorless robin would be more appealing.

Robins can bepretty amusing too

We feed the quail in our property to help them get through winter. There are several coveys, in total about 50 or more quail.

When we go out with the red pail of seed and corn and call to them with a high obnoxious 'chick chick chick' call......they come running from all directions and then stop and run away and mill about like people anxiously waiting for the subway car to arrive. Afraid to get too close to the subway stop but all wanting to be the first to get on board the train.

"LOOK!! There is the big scary person with the red pail!! GOOD FOOD!!....run as fast as our little twiggy legs can go......Ah!!...he is looking at us ....run away....Oh no...don't run too far... the others might get to the food first....run back....OH no.....run away!!!.....Ah...conflicted!!"

Easily amused, we are.

Alex said...

Clint - Crows are assholes!
Mr. Magoo - I spent 10 years as a crow...
Clint - Yeah....

Brian McKim & Traci Skene said...

The crows took over the churchyard across from my boyhood home back in the mid- to late-90s, I think. Great big birds they were, and sinister looking. I remember thinking how ridiculous (and Hitchcockian) that they were marauding through the neighborhood in such numbers and how there seemed to be fewer of every other kind of bird.

Well, all that ended. Not sure when. But, at least in South Jersey, near the Delaware River, the tenure of the giant, bully crows was short-lived.

Skippy said...

The crow population in our neighborhood increased over several years and suddenly they disappeared, maybe related to the arrival of West Nile virus a few years ago. Or maybe not. There is one crow walking around down the street this week, so maybe more friends will soon arrive. In my parents' neighborhood, there was a watch-crow who surveyed the block for danger from the top of a light pole and would call to the flock to lift off if things got dicey. One would stand atop my father's old Chevy that Dad had protected with a nice custom-fitted car-cover. The bird picked and picked at the stitching until he/she pulled it apart, maybe to get the threads, or maybe just for amusement. Dad would head out to scare off the bird, which would wait until the final moment when Dad got close enough and then take flight. Smart bird.