March 19, 2012

"Greener than green, I'm saving the planet/Just like my friends Daryl, Sean, Toby and Janet."

"No greenhouse gas, a tiny carbon footprint up your ass/I'm on a motherfucking bike/Sharing my aggression is what that I do/Every day I'm riding the 'Tour de Fuck You'/Banging on hoods and kicking in fenders/a right-of-way-aholic on a permanent bender..."



Yes, that is exactly what it is like out there!

ADDED: Move!

48 comments:

garage mahal said...

"green fatigue" tag:

My never ending quest scouring the internet looking for things to make environmentalists look bad.

Exhausting!

Ann Althouse said...

@ garage Well, how about your never-ending quest to find stuff to be sour about.

Jeez, I put up something hilarious and you're right there bitching.

garage mahal said...

Only a gentle ribbing was intended.

tim maguire said...

I hate to see stuff like that on the internet while I'm at work, especially in the morning. It's going to be at least 8 hours before I'm in a place where I can hit play.

It's probably hilarious, even if bicyclists in my city have good reason to maintain a hostile relationship with cars.

Curious George said...

"garage mahal said...
"green fatigue" tag:

My never ending quest scouring the internet looking for things to make environmentalists look bad.

Exhausting!" No kidding. Just show some fat ass in a "I Tappa Kegga" t-shirt.

As far as the biker video, funny, and more than a little representative of some near east side Madison residents.

Jeff with one 'f' said...

I commute from Brooklyn to Manhattan every day bike. In Brooklyn I'm the first guy, in Manhattan I'm the second one.

edutcher said...

Y'know, Santorum just might get my vote if he promised to outlaw white people trying to rap.

ElPresidenteCastro said...

"mutha fuckin' fixie" is the funniest line in the video. Fixie riders are considered the douchiest of the hipster douche cyclist set.

Fen said...

Garage: never ending quest scouring the internet looking for things to make environmentalists look bad

Says the enviro-wacko who thinks Climategate 1 & 2 are "no big deal", the "science is settled!"

*snicker*

Charlie said...

Is Portlandia supposed to be funny?

Kit said...

That IS what it's like out there. Just last week, a car used the delineated parking lane (next to the bike lane) as his own personal driving lane. Brushed right by me, on my right. I was not expecting it. Did not see him until he was next to me. RIGHT next to me. He had another 50' to the light.

Scary and frustrating. All I could muster was, "Karma's a bitch."

purplepenquin said...

Y'know, Santorum just might get my vote if he promised to outlaw white people trying to rap

Hey now! The very first "rap" that topped the music charts (as well as the first rap video to appear on MTV) was sung by a white woman.

And given how many times you've commented about "The Blonde" at home, I kinda figured you'd also enjoy the band "Blondie" :D

garage mahal said...

Exhausting!" No kidding. Just show some fat ass in a "I Tappa Kegga" t-shirt

Haha. How many times a day you play that video, weirdo?

And did you ever tell us definitively if this guy was you? I remember a sort of non denial denial. Looks like a typical Walker supporter anyhow.

MadisonMan said...

Entitlement Generation meets Greenness.

Speaking as a pedestrian, I will say Bikers are rude. Not as rude as car drivers, but close.

ElPresidenteCastro said...

Purple penguin,

Rapture wasn't 'rap' it was a small slice of cultural imperialism. Including Fab Five Freddy and Basquiat was the only thing that kept the video from being a hate crime.

TomB said...

@MadisonMan

Agreed. I lived in NYC for 11 years and found that as a pedestrian, cyclists, in particular the messengers, were far more dangerous to my personal well-being than cars.

I guess with most such groups, the minority tarnish the reputation of the majority who are courteous, but if metropolitan cyclists wanted more respect overall, they would be well advised to police their own.

Rusty said...

garage mahal said...
Only a gentle ribbing was intended.





Dude. Your life sucks.

Pastafarian said...

Are there any hipster doofuses here, to defend yourselves?

Because I'm curious about the whole fixie thing. I mean, what the fuck? One gear? What is the point to that? It saves you what, 7 ounces of weight, and an unmeasurably small amount of gear friction, and in return, you're stuck in one fucking gear for all situations?

Unbelievably stupid, a devolution of the bicycle. It's like ripping the fuel injection system out of my car and installing a carburetor.

purplepenquin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ElPresidenteCastro said...

Pastafarian,

It is the purest form of cycling.

And I type that with as much bile as I can.

And don't dis' the carburetor.

bandmeeting said...

If you want to see fixed gear no-brake idiots properly dismantled, read bikesnobnyc.blogspot.com. I hope to never be on the wrong side of his words.

cyclists, in particular the messengers, were far more dangerous to my personal well-being than cars.

Yes and no. I'm pretty sure you'd a rather get hit by a bike than a car. If you read the paper in NYC you'll see something every other day about a pedestrian getting killed by a car. Bikes? Not really.

And the real idiots are not the recreational or commuting cyclists. They are, as you say, messengers or food delivery guys. They'll do anything. They are starting to crack down on them though and I've seen multiple restaurant delivery dudes getting ticketed. I do feel bad for them even though they bother me. Those tickets are expensive on their pay (and likely sending a bunch of that pay back home).

As someone who rides several thousand miles in the city and surrounding area the really annoying thing I often see and NEVER hear anyone talk about is pedestrians getting in one's way even when they don't have the right of way. Also peds will step into the street without even looking????? They often continue to cross without looking to see if there is fast approaching traffic or not. Crazy.

Hoosier Daddy said...

"... Jeez, I put up something hilarious and you're right there bitching..."

Heh, imagine what he'll be like in November if Obama is tossed out.

Paul said...

"Because I'm curious about the whole fixie thing. I mean, what the fuck? One gear? What is the point to that? It saves you what, 7 ounces of weight, and an unmeasurably small amount of gear friction, and in return, you're stuck in one fucking gear for all situations?"

Fixed gears are used in track racing where one optimum gear is selected and the bikes have no brakes...you slow the bike by resisting the forward momentum of the pedals which are not connected to a freewheel, rather the hub is "fixed". Brakes are too dangerous and illegal on the track because riders are so close together.

I raced back in the day and used to train on a fixed gear bike in the city where I lived because the fixed gear would force you to develop a perfectly smooth pedal style as you could hit 200 rpm downhill. I did add a front brake though...the hills in SF are steep.

With a fixed gear you have a very direct connection to the road. It was fun to ride but I used a geared bike for racing and long training rides.


I only ride a mountain bike anymore, but even if I did ride the road I would avoid the hipster doofus set like the plague.

purplepenquin said...

Rapture wasn't 'rap' it was a small slice of cultural imperialism. Including Fab Five Freddy and Basquiat was the only thing that kept the video from being a hate crime.

True, there is a fine line between "ripping off" and "being influenced by" another artist...especially when it comes to the whole racial bullcrap the studios were blatantly flagrant about.

However, if "Rapture" was a crime then it was a crime of love rather than hate.

~N. said...

I suspect the people in cars gunning for bikers are the pedestrians the bikers were gunning for the day before.

Bikers are out of control in San Francisco. Last year, a pedestrian was struck and killed by a biker who ran a red light.

Bikers are not satisfied with the millions of dollars of bike lanes provided for them. They ride where they will, totally disregard traffic lights, pedestrians, drivers or anything else that gets in the way.

For all that they're so "green", they're destroying trails by going off road in spite of rules banning bikes from sensitive trail areas.

"Share the road", to a biker, means "everyone else get the hell out of my way".

People are fed up, however, and the number of biker/pedestrian accidents has risen to the point where police are now patrolling particularly bad intersections and citing bikers for traffic violations. Hopefully it'll help, but I doubt it.

SGT Ted said...

I like how they tout their environmental purity as an excuse to be assholes to other people.

It's so refreshingly honest!

SGT Ted said...

Hey now! The very first "rap" that topped the music charts (as well as the first rap video to appear on MTV) was sung by a white woman.

And 40 years later, she looks better and has more talent than some 20 something "artists".

Disclosure: Blondie was my first serious adolescent crush. mm-mm-mm!

Curious George said...

"garage mahal said...
Exhausting!" No kidding. Just show some fat ass in a "I Tappa Kegga" t-shirt

Haha. How many times a day you play that video, weirdo?

And did you ever tell us definitively if this guy was you? I remember a sort of non denial denial. Looks like a typical Walker supporter anyhow"

Seen it once. All I needed to confirm what a tool you are.

As far as my denial your memory is as bad as you fashion sense. Wasn't me. Even requested an apology. But you keep grasping at straws.

William said...

No one was ever killed by a reckless pedestrian, save, of course, the reckless pedestrian.....I live in NYC. Bikers keep you alert and spry. It's all one way streets here, but I've taken to looking in both directions before jaywalking.....In terms of vehicular arrogance, there is nothing to compare to the NYC cab driver. There's chicken before the egg phenomenon. Does driving in NYC make them assholes or do they choose to make their living driving in NYC because they are assholes?

Rusty said...

People are fed up, however, and the number of biker/pedestrian accidents has risen to the point where police are now patrolling particularly bad intersections and citing bikers for traffic violations. Hopefully it'll help, but I doubt it.


There is a perfectly good bike path half a block away from the major road that connects my little village to the rest of civilization, but it's not good enough for the spandex commandos. They got to get in traffic and give everyone the finger when they don't get the right of way.
Jerks.

CyndiF said...

I work in Boulder, CO. Portlandia is hilarious. I can't watch more than half an episode at a time, though--it's too painfully apt.

purplepenquin said...

Even requested an apology.

Speaking of, was there anything at all you wish to apologize for to moi? Or do you stand by everything you've said...and every video you've posted...in response to me?

traditionalguy said...

Welcome to European society.

You can forget your Chevy 409s and Ford Mustangs cruising the drag on Saturday night burning cheap gasoline from Canadian oil sands.

It's bicycle boys that dress like a European proletariat.


Obama promised to transform us.

garage mahal said...

As far as my denial your memory is as bad as you fashion sense. Wasn't me. Even requested an apology. But you keep grasping at straws.

If that wasn't you, surely you were there in spirit.

Joe Schmoe said...

The fixie dude with the tight pants, converse kicks, and ear-flap hat is my favorite. I've seen quite a few versions of that guy in my area. The angry Brit chucking two birds through the intersection is a close second. Thanks Ann for the link. I'll be sharing this one alot today.

I guess the gangsta cyclists can console themselves that they're saving the planet, but that neglects the harmful mining and manufacturing processes needed to make the bikes. Tires from rubber tree plantations must be bad for the environment somehow, too. Vulcanization must be polluting. Grease for the chains comes from oil, usually the petroleum-based kind, and we all know how bad that is. More green sophistry.

John Lynch said...

And it's always men.

Cyclists, who follow no known set of rules, complain about cars. Hypocrites.

ricpic said...

If you're a pedestrian the greatest danger you face is not from cars, buses and trucks, whose direction can at least be anticipated but from bikers who come out of nowhere wrongwaying it down one way streets.

Charlie said...

"I work in Boulder, CO. Portlandia is hilarious. I can't watch more than half an episode at a time, though--it's too painfully apt."

So it IS supposed to be a comedy!

CJinPA said...

Portlandia, hooray.

Pogo said...

Do hipster doofuses ((doofi??) know that they are hipsters and doofuses?

Does anyone proudly admit to being a hipster?

Because they seem as hated as the yuppies, even moreso.

~N. said...

Actually, the whole hipster thing is over. Or so my twenty-something kids who live in Brooklyn tell me.

In SF, the guys people would refer to as "hipsters" ride skateboards and scooters, not bikes. Because they're forever 12.

It's the Lance-Armstrong-wannabes who are the real problem, not the grubbier local riders.

ricpic said...

Super cool, super hip, they walk as if on air,
I'd like to reach out grab their butts
And another asshole them tear.

galdosiana said...

That first one pretty much has Madison summed up in one song.

el polacko said...

joe schmoe beat me to it... where the heck do these obnoxious, self-righteous jerks think their bikes come from? magic 'green' bikeland? do they think that they are each individually ridden to the bike store? it's akin to the electric car drivers who don't realize that their car is actually running on coal. dipshits.

William said...

You have to work close to the handlebars to feel what is true and good about dodging the cyclist. Many here complain about cyclists. But they are not true men and do not work close to the handlebars. Those with the grace to stare down the rush of the cyclist, know what it is to be in truth alive on the first spring day.

leslyn said...

GARAGE is sour?? He at least tries to be entertaining, not spiteful.

Anyway, get over it, bicycles do have the right of way, and they are dodging drivers who forget that all the time--so THAT could make someone a bit sour.

leslyn said...

Rusty said...
garage mahal said...
Only a gentle ribbing was intended.





"Dude. Your life sucks."

Dude. Look at yours.

leslyn said...

"el polacko said...
joe schmoe beat me to it... where the heck do these obnoxious, self-righteous jerks think their bikes come from? magic 'green' bikeland? do they think that they are each individually ridden to the bike store? it's akin to the electric car drivers who don't realize that their car is actually running on coal. dipshits"

I don't know the figures on the hybrids, but gars conversted from combustion engines to electric cost, on average .02 to .03 cents per mile to run, based on cost of electric charging. Of course, they don't need oil changes or calytic coverters, either. Batteries have to be replaced, but they last a long time.

Bicycles, obviously, costs a lot less to produce than a car, and your motive power is your legs--for most people.

I fail to see the "dipshit" energy-use quotient you apparently referred to.