December 1, 2011

"And... my video is now leaking like an old tampon."

Tweets Lady Gaga... feigning displeasure or actually displeased that her new video is available on line.

73 comments:

ironrailsironweights said...

She does have a way with words.

Peter

Heart_Collector said...

I would rather listen to the old tampon.

campy said...

Her "Lady Is a Tramp" duet with Tony Bennett is pretty good.

Jason (the commenter) said...

So much effort and still none of the old magic.

Chip S. said...

Has she covered "Let It Bleed"? I don't pay that much attention.

obladioblada said...

She has the skank schtick down.

madAsHell said...

Who's Lady GaGa?

bagoh20 said...

It takes a special type person to get through that video. To watch it twice would be absolutely heroic.

edutcher said...

Remember when singers actually sang, y'know, songs?

Jana said...

Is it another Madonna rip-off?

MayBee said...

Prince Charles thinks that's sexy talk.

Tim said...

I bit.

I wish I hadn't.

13:47 of my life I'll never recapture.

Otherwise, she thinks too much of herself.

The rest of us should just leave her alone with her self-impressed self.

And yes, I'm guessing she masturbates, a lot.

Tim said...

bagoh20 said...

"It takes a special type person to get through that video. To watch it twice would be absolutely"masochistic.

Fixed.

wv: linkina - That's not lickin' A, dude,

ricpic said...

I can't keep a MAN!!!!!

ndspinelli said...

What is the criteria for an "old" tampon?

wv: fulls..you can't make this shit up!!

Fen said...

*shrug*

She's an artist.

For someone like me to recognize that, it must be true :)

Jason (the commenter) said...

Jana: Is it another Madonna rip-off?

Maybe of one of her movies.

E.M. Davis said...

I usually enjoy self-indulgent nonsense but this was B-O-R-I-N-G.

Titus said...

She has an amazing voice.

Love her.

tits.

Today is the last day of my three day cleanse and I feel terrific.

I recommend a cleanse for everyone at least 2 times a year.

Titus said...

To end my cleanse I will be completing a salt water flush.

ricpic said...

Watery loafs, eh Titus?

E.M. Davis said...

I recommend a cleanse for everyone at least 2 times a year.

I have a friend who does this. What's your basic procedure ... I'm curious.

He does the salt water thing, too.

ricpic said...

Watery logs, eh Titus?

Mary Beth said...

"Her transformation is complete: she steps out of a car that has just exploded as a reborn pop singer...."

I don't want to watch. Can someone explain how a car becomes a pop singer?

E.M. Davis said...

I don't want to watch. Can someone explain how a car becomes a pop singer?

Cameo appearance by K.I.T.T.

The Crack Emcee said...

If you had read my blog posts today, you'd have discovered that Lady Gaga thinks 'Orgasms and spinach' are the secret to perfect skin.

Unfortunately, like this video, I'm not willing to check whose orgasms she's referring to,...

Wally Kalbacken said...

Tony Bennett is the class of that video. I do not understand Lady Gaga. Is it Madonna without the talent - just pure marketing? I dunno. I don't care, I'm way out side the target demographic for her act.

But Tony De Benedetto - in everything (but his political views) is a true artist. Long may you run!

Titus said...

I want to do her backup dancer with the mohawk.

He is always with her.

Titus said...

I do the lemon juice cleanse, a variation on the Master Cleanse. 10-12 glasses a day. I don't do the maple syrup though-gross. I believe we should all do something out of our comfort zone to shake things up.

I am so wanting a piece of pizza but it's all about self control and I like that feeling.

You actually feel great afterwards.

My loafs have been disgusting but I actually feel amazing and my abs are glistening.

Today I went to a Russian Steam Bath that has been around for like 150 years. Some old Russian lady beat the shit out of me with some branch. Not a Gay Bath though! If in Boston you must go to Dillon's Russian Bath in Chelsea.

I used to always want to be real beefed up but I am really liking being thinner but very toned.

Is there a version of this video where her tits aren't blacked out? You know there is. She has nice tits.

No Name said...

I don't know Lady Gaga from shinola- I'm just surprissed that one of this blog's categories is 'menstruation'. Is that really necessary?

Jaske said...

Her generation has an amazing short burst of indifference, it's appropriate here.

Meh.

Alex said...

the first few singles were fun, but the last 18 months or so has become such an utter freak show that I can't be bothered.

Don't Tread 2012 said...

'Lady' Gaga I'm told really has a great voice (this, from my wife and my daughter).

Not so sure about her grey matter though, using a 'leaking tampon' comparison is gross. I can only conclude she enjoys crassness. This I believe is reflected in the sounds she makes as well.

Guttural women are so 'been there, done that'. Classy wins the day every time.

Gaga? Not so much.

wv - aptwin

rhhardin said...

It's a plug for herself.

Triangle Man said...

I wonder I Lady Gaga views the cancer chemotherapy scalping phenomenon as a victory for free enterprise. I'm sure there must be a libertarian spin on how any negative consequences if this can be traced to government interference in the marketplace. Is it te FDAs fault?
I realize it's completely off topic, but the Frozen Lilly Cafe seems to be closed.

Christopher in MA said...

"Is it Madonna without the talent?"

Someone once said that Madonna had the body of a sex goddess and the soul of an accountant. I've never seen nor heard any of Gaga's "music" and feel stupider just knowing who she is.

And frankly, "Titus" or whoever / whatever the hell you are, thank you - with your disgustingly rank, self-involved, coprophiliac posts for confirming my morning conclusion that with people like you in the majority, this country is doomed and the sooner it's wiped out, the better.

Just before the fall of Constantinople, a Byzantine noble wrote, in regard to a possible conversion from Orthodoxy to Roman Catholicism as a last resort for staving off the Ottomans, "better the turban than the mitre." If our freedom means letting solipsistic fools like you move the national conversation, better sharia than the Constitution.

Scott M said...

Is it a shocking meat video? Doesn't that pretty much describe Gaga?

Curious George said...

For all you haters maybe this Lady Gaga Music Video will do?

Scott M said...

My thumb slipped while surfing and I caught a part of one of her concerts where everything was toned down and she was doing a solo ballad, playing piano and singing.

Forget all of the trappings, the endless pursuit of shock value, the lack of class, etc. It takes quite a bit of ability, first of all, simply to play a piano well while singing well. To do both exceptionally well takes significant talent.

If I'd been in the other room and heard this without seeing who it was, I would have thought, "who the hell is that...sounds great". Thus the depth of my knowledge of her catalog is wanting.

The point being is that she has got talent, but she's not using it 96% of the time.

pm317 said...

Time to throw the video out then.

Doc Holliday's Bastard said...

She's the greatest self promoter around right now, no way was this leaked. It was probably taking too long to finish and would have an initial release right around Christmas where it would have less impact, this way the video gets attention, and will build in popularity until the fully done version hits around Christmas or New Years to a massive and eager audience.

I've never listened to an album of hers but I've heard a few songs. She seems to actually be a lot like a hip-hop artist musically, her lyrics aren't great and she can't really sing (not a problem though, most rock stars can't really sing either), but she can make a great beat and lay down a really catchy hook. However, the rest of her schtick is Madonna redux.

Scott M said...

However, the rest of her schtick is Madonna redux.

Excepting, as I mentioned above, that I don't recall Madonna able to play an instrument to save her life.

Curious George said...

ScottM:

Exactly right. She has talent.

The Crack Emcee said...

ScottM,

Give us a link. I have never heard a GaGa song that I've found to be good, or even pleasant. I know she can play - lots of people can play - but I want something more,...

David said...

Overall, I prefer Doris Day.

Doris was not goody two shoes though. (Oscar Levant once said "I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.")

Doc Holliday's Bastard said...

I equated her to a rock star. Jagger can play the guitar and sing, but he's not great at the guitar and his voice has a limited range...same with Gaga.

Scott M said...

It was an HBO concert. I'm not saying I'm remotely a fan. I'm saying that someone, anyone, that can play a good, complex piano ballad and belting out well-executed vocals at the same time requires talent.

Adeptly playing the piano while singing well isn't as tough as beatbox, rapping, or sampling other's work and producing synthesized tracks in a studio or anything like that, I grant you. Cuz those things are hard and require years and years of study.

Personally I think she's a pig. However, to be fair, hooves and all, she can play the piano well and sing well at the same time. With the number of piano players in my family, cutting across all ability levels, I realize how difficult that can be.

Scott M said...

Jagger can play the guitar and sing, but he's not great at the guitar and his voice has a limited range...same with Gaga.

This. I was only surprised to the extent that she can play AT ALL, let alone do so while singing.

Curious George said...

"The Crack Emcee said...
ScottM,

Give us a link. I have never heard a GaGa song that I've found to be good, or even pleasant. I know she can play - lots of people can play - but I want something more,..."

Here's one

Another

Pogo said...

She's very much The Blue Angel in our own Weimar Republic.

Après nous, le déluge.

rhhardin said...

She should do Une Jeune Fillette

There was once a young girl, noble of heart, charming and pretty and of great worth, against her will she was made a nun; this doesn't please her at all, so she lives in great pain.

Titus said...

Gaga on Howard Stern was amazing.

Just her and a piano.

Can't fake that.

Two of my favs-Gaga and Stern, who I fucking love.

Craig said...

Kanye is nominated for seven Grammy Awards, nearly all of them in hip hop categories. Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars are both up for six. Look for Bruno Mars to run the table. He's got zeitgeist. Doowops and Houligans is clearly album of the year. Grenade is the only single on that album up for awards, but there are at least eight more monster hits on that album that have leaked, like a well used rubber, all over Europe and Asia. His songs have lyrics and his fans worldwide know them by heart. Go to Youtube and check out live performances of Somewhere In Brooklyn and Talking To The Moon.

Scott M said...

Can we please get a young, white female artist to come out on stage and take the mic out of Kanye's hand during his first acceptance speech?

The Crack Emcee said...

Scott M,

It was an HBO concert. I'm not saying I'm remotely a fan. I'm saying that someone, anyone, that can play a good, complex piano ballad and belting out well-executed vocals at the same time requires PRACTICE.

FIFY.

Scott M said...

You can practice all you want, but if you're dexterity sucks, or your voice sounds like sand paper, you won't get to the level I heard. My wife's mother was big on classical training and all of them can play to one degree or another. A couple have had a lot of voice lessons and all are innately talented musicians, meaning playing well comes naturally to them.

That doesn't make them good song writers nor does it make them good entertainers.

All I'm saying is that Gaga's got some innate talent. I don't like what she's doing with it one bit. By the by, some people can play piano incredibly well, but never cross over into the play & sing ability. Likewise with voice...probably far more so.

The Crack Emcee said...

Curious George,

For starters (video #1) that's not a good song - it's on the low end of mediocre, at best. There's no forward motion in it's composition, no unique chords, or interesting ideas in how it's played. It's just,...there. Not to mention I was compelled to stop it when she opened her mouth to sing, but, for the sake of this critique, I let it roll - until the chorus when I couldn't take anymore.

Idea-wise, she starts out by saying "you may never reach that glorious moment until you die" - what "glorious moment"? And a song about her grandfather has lyrics about why "you should take me home"? What - I'm supposed to fuck her because the old man's dead or something? How creepy. And these are great lyrics:

"I need a man who thinks it's right when it's wrong,..."

This is the woman constantly screaming about her "bad romance"? She's demanding that!

I switched over to video #2 but the sound is so bad I didn't bother. It's pretty obvious, after the 27 seconds I did hear, it's just more of the same.

Look, guys, I'll give it to her: I expected nothing and she delivered, so, I guess, that's an accomplishment of some kind. But it also explains why someone looking for good music would much prefer The Shaggs:

I can hear Gaga's nonsense anytime, anywhere, and for any price - it's worthless.

The Crack Emcee said...

I'll add one more "compliment" to her:

She's the *perfect* artist to represent the Obama era.

E.M. Davis said...

Can we please get a young, white female artist to come out on stage and take the mic out of Kanye's hand during his first acceptance speech?

Admit it. Taylor Swift is insufferable in her own right, and Kanye is ... entertaining.

Slightly OT, but I'd be curious to get Crack's take on Watch the Throne and My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

cassandra lite said...

Lesson for LG: In movies, the reason lovers awaken together and begin kissing without the ravages of morning breath is that filmmakers know audiences won't be able to get the image out of their minds for the rest of the film.

To the degree I think of her now, I'll be wondering if it's that time of month and whether she's overdue for a change.

Scott M said...

Admit it. Taylor Swift is insufferable in her own right, and Kanye is ... entertaining.

I will not. It was a shit move and sends a horrible message to younger fans.

The Crack Emcee said...

E.M. Davis,

Admit it. Taylor Swift is insufferable in her own right, and Kanye is ... entertaining.

I was working a construction job a while back and her song ("Why you gotta be so mean") came on the radio, repeatedly, and every time it did - I mean, every time - everybody groaned. That groan later became a series of joke explanations for why they'd be mean to her. That got so bad - and crude - eventually the foremen were compelled to changed the channel.

Slightly OT, but I'd be curious to get Crack's take on Watch the Throne and My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

Just awful - especially Watch the Throne because it's supposed to be the work of two giants when, in truth, Jay-Z has made better, alone, for years. I've only heard a few Kanye songs that were exceptional. Most are tripe, with, maybe, an interesting flip of a sample in it or something, but most isn't worthwhile.

We live in interesting times, when we've willingly elect non-entities to replace anyone or anything of substance - as though we don't even know what it is. "The Emperor's naked" is the cry of our time - and it's more than fitting when you consider someone like Gaga,...

E.M. Davis said...

Just awful - especially Watch the Throne because it's supposed to be the work of two giants when, in truth, Jay-Z has made better, alone, for years. I've only heard a few Kanye songs that were exceptional. Most are tripe, with, maybe, an interesting flip of a sample in it or something, but most isn't worthwhile.


Throne was a let down for me. You're right about Jay-Z, although I do enjoy the fact that Kanye seems to actually enjoy music enough to weave it into a lot of his tracks. I dug "Lost in the World" and like some of his earlier work on 808s & Heartbreaka and Late Registration.

West is a poor rapper for sure, not a terrible writer, but he's not even in Eminem's class in that regard.

Also, it's funny Jay-Z makes "D.O.A." and then in turn, teams up with autotune connoisseur West.

E.M. Davis said...

it's more than fitting when you consider someone like Gaga,...

Gaga has talent, but she allows production to destroy it in the process of making "music."

The Crack Emcee said...

E.M. Davis,

West is a poor rapper for sure, not a terrible writer, but he's not even in Eminem's class in that regard.

Eminem isn't even in Eminem's class anymore,...

The Crack Emcee said...

E.M. Davis,

Gaga has talent, but she allows production to destroy it in the process of making "music."

If you say so, but considering we've been talking about her, alone with a piano, I don't know what production has to do with it.

She just sucks and people, for whatever reason (Affirmative Action?) aren't aware of the difference or want to pretend there isn't one,...

gutless said...

The Aristocrats.

Largo said...

Gaga -- Madonna -- Dietrich -- ?

There is nothing new under the sun. And most of what appears new is a baser version of what has been.

Largo said...

But Bennett has class.

Alex said...

Enough about these 3rd rate talents. On to Real piano talent

traditionalguy said...

This is a serious restriction on protesters. It is Scott Walker Social Engineering but it has no legitimate purpose.

Letting the losers have their hearing is just as important as quashing them once the hearings are over. The Tea Party agrees with the Professor here.

This wisdom is Jurisprudence 101.

Mike said...

Uh, she re-uses?

Craig said...

Okay, it was Adele who got six nominations. I think Gaga only had four.