September 29, 2011

Anderson Cooper tries coffee for the first time and calls it "watery."

He also eats spinach for the first time and calls it "slithery." 

75 comments:

Fred4Pres said...

Was the alpaca Anderson Cooper's date or dinner?

Scott M said...

What's the difference between Paris Hilton's little purse dog and Anderson Cooper?

Not much.

chickenlittle said...

What else hasn't the man tried?

Fred4Pres said...

Is Anderson Cooper a prototype android (like in A.I.). It would explain a lot.

Remember when the android started eating spinach?

Robert said...

If spinach is 'slithery', how would he describe semen? I hear it wouldn't be his first time.

Fred4Pres said...

chickenlittle, you know damn well where Anderson Cooper's never been.

rcocean said...

When is he going to try sex with a woman?

Fred4Pres said...

I watched Bill Cunningham New York last night. Facininating film. I recommend it. It was really quite good and I am not into fashion. It is available for streaming on Netflix.

Watch it. While I generally like Bill Cunningham's stuff and I am bored by Anderson Cooper, you might notice some similarities.

Not sure if Ann can see it on Amazon Prime.

Coketown said...

I was going to say something horribly crass, but I'm trying to be more respectable. Rcocean is on the right track, though.

traditionalguy said...

So what does Anderson like to eat the most?

Is he a closet Mormon? Wait, he came out of that other closet.

He has to read the CNN written lines, but he does seem to have an expressive personality for a lying creep.

Triangle Man said...

So, no arugula either? My pre-conception has been shattered.

LordSomber said...

Teabag joke in 3...2...1...

Russ said...

I tend to find coffee 'watery' as well. Or more like its texture doesn't live up to its aroma.

As for Robert, rcocean, etc. 4chan & fark is that way ---->

chickenlittle said...

Done right, the last thing good coffee reminds me of is water. I've learned over the years that if a person wrongly opines on something I know to be untrue, that person should not be trusted on matters I know little about.

On the other hand, perhaps he just got some awful coffee.

Calypso Facto said...

Maybe he'll try reporting factual news some day too.

deborah said...

Russ, you're not doing it right. Add more coffee.

BJM said...

I watched Anderson Cooper for the first time and call him an asshole.

traditionalguy said...

Maybe some one got the cup out of the vending machine area. A Weak cup instant coffee would not get a man to come back for seconds.

But the stale Little Debbies are worth the 75 cents.

deborah said...

What's sad is that his brother jumped off a balcony and committed suicide in front of their mother, Gloria Vanderbilt.

Swede said...

One wonders how he'll describe kissing a girl for the first time.

MadisonMan said...

Has he tried Egg Salad.

Dustin said...

What kind of incurious weirdo goes that long without trying things like that?

I've eaten boar and dog and ants, this guy is just getting around to coffee?

What the hell?

And he's a journalist? No wonder he is not informative.

E.M. Davis said...

Has he tried Egg Salad.

No, but I hear he's into tossing salad!!

ZING! Just getting my gay jokes out of the way, since they are in vogue.

jr565 said...

I wonder what Roger Ebert's rules are concerning dating people who've never tried coffee.


I've never tried meth, coke, heroin or cigs. But I can't imagine anyone not at least trying coffee once in their lives. maybe not beer (I have a few friends who have never had beer, but even they've had coffee). What is wrong with Anderson?

MadisonMan said...

How is tossing salad gay?

bagoh20 said...

Soylent Green is a tough addiction to beat.

A. Shmendrik said...

The expression looks like he was taking it up the ass. Wait a minute! He is taking it up the ass!

Methadras said...

I'm sure if you put Titus' cock in Anderson Coopers mouth he'd call it meaty.

bagoh20 said...

The guy is a freak. Let's ask him for his view of world events...regularly.

He belongs in the field of Muzak production, not news.

Fred4Pres said...

Didn't any of you catch Cooper with the alpaca in the link picture? Although it looks more llama than alpaca. Still damn attractive to Cooper. Pets or food!

Levi Starks said...

The engineer said before he died, there were two more drinks he'd like to try...
The conductor said what could they be...
A hot cup of coffee, and a cold glass of tea.

Titus said...

I have never had coffee.

Titus said...

He has definitely ever tried pussy.

rcocean said...

I'm indifferent to Cooper's sex life, but not having coffee until you're 44 is odd.

BTW, I've eaten fired crickets, ants, whale meat, and a whole bunch of other animals.

Basically, it all tastes like chicken.

rcocean said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
edutcher said...

If he thinks spinach is slithery, wail till he tries pudding, or ice cream.

Titus said...

His laugh or giggle is very gay.

Lyle said...

Man, I thought Anderson was such a sophisticated dude. Sheltered is the word I want to use now.

That's okay though, props for finally trying it. I probably won't put penis in my mouth just because Anderson likes it

Coffee is the bomb. I'm drinking some watery Davis Mountain dark goodness at the moment.

paul a'barge said...

When was the first time he tried penis?

Long, long time ago.

Cedarford said...

Pretty amazing. Those at all hours news crews, especially the sort Anderson is with that rush to different time zones to give us good Distaster Porn on TV - exist on coffee.

Hard to imagine he never was so tired he didn't try it when it was 9AM in Australia covering a "tragic mass sperm whale beaching" after 24 sleepless hours jetting from NYC at 9AM the day before.

Could be he finds cocaine and meth are better, or he sucks teabags instead.

Unknown said...

Coffee is watery?

He must get his tap water from a well.

Titus said...

Is his gray hair real?

Tits.

I think he has a small penis. I don't know for sure but he looks like he does. He is a definite bottom too.

FedkaTheConvict said...

I'm middle-aged and I've never had coffee nor drinks containing alcohol and I don't consider myself a "freak."

There are millions of people who haven't either. Strict, observant Seventh-Day Adventists don't drink alcohol, coffee, or any other drinks containing caffeine. Many are also vegetarians.

Read up a bit on the Kellogg brothers who invented corn flakes and the Battle Creek Sanitarium.

ricpic said...

Has anyone here eaten venison? Based on what I've read there is an amazing variation in reactions to venison's taste. Anywhere from chicken to better than beef to unpalatable.

Dustin said...

Hint hint: Anderson Cooper is lying. CNN likes to have fake news and strong personalities, and they couldn't think of anything better than Anderson Cooper tries some spinach for the first time in his life.

Remember that time they pretended to be in the shit in Iraq, and it was just a hotel room turned into a lame set?

This is CNN.

What's annoying is they could really ramp up their ratings with better coverage of Fast And Furious than Cooper provided last night.

Browndog said...

He also covered "Fast and Furious" for the first time, and called it "curios"

MadisonMan said...

Has anyone here eaten venison?

When I was in college, my roommie brought some venison steaks back from home for dinner. As it happened, it was my turn to cook. All I knew about venison was that it was tough and that you had to pound it to tenderize it. All I had was a ball peen hammer. I covered the meat with wax paper, but there was still blood splatter everywhere in the kitchen. I pan fried it and it wasn't very good.

Another time, I went to my neighbor's cabin on the Susquehanna, and his Mom served us sloppy Joes made with Venison. Ugh.

The Tornado Room here in Madison serves venison occasionally, but I've never been there when it's on the menu, and past experience makes me unwilling to try it.

bagoh20 said...

Venison varies from tasting a lot like liver to pretty close to beef. I don't know what makes the difference. I ate a lot of it as a kid in Pennsylvania. Sometimes I liked it and sometimes not. In college there (yes, I did) I often was more than happy to get free meat, and not like Titus did. Mine didn't make sound.

Calypso Facto said...

Have you eaten anything wild ricpic? Do you know the taste expression "gamey"? That's venison by and large.

BagO's right that under certain conditions it can be palatable on it's own, but mostly it's tough and strong-tasting. Best for crockpot stews or grinding and mixing with pork in sausage.

t-man said...

I'm sure Titus's victims don't make a sound either. (I kid, I kid.)

I love most kinds of meat, but I've never liked venison.

LordSomber said...

Is that "Retracto, the Correction Alpaca"?

MadisonMan said...

My recollection was that it was a liver-tasting meat. The venison sloppy-joe I recall as being particularly bad, and I was a guest at their cabin trying to be polite.

bagoh20, I didn't recall you being a kid in PA. What county? (Centre for me)

chickenlittle said...

Gamey taste in venison is offal. A quick and careful field dressing avoids the problem. Even Sarah Palin knows this. I wonder if Anderson Cooper does.

chickenlittle said...

I suspect not. Anderson Cooper, if not vegan, probably gets all his meat from the market.
_______
wv = "cuslogyn" That's a tough one. I suspect that it's a triple portmanteau word meaning a cursing woman online.

sorepaw said...

Was Anderson Cooper brought up on an exclusive diet of hamburgers and apple sauce?

Evidently, he has led a sheltered life.

Calypso Facto said...

"Gamey taste in venison is awful."
FTFY

I've eaten venison probably every year of my life. The taste problem is not in the field dressing.

The problem is OBVIOUSLY with my inability to learn from my mistakes. :)

Kurt said...

I'm with Lyle questioning how and why anyone ever thought he was sophisticated if he's never tried these things; "sheltered" is, indeed, a very good word for him. I also think Dustin makes a good point about being incurious. After all, it's not like he lacked for wealth or opportunities to try a lot of things before this point in his life. And the exceptions that FedkatheConvict mentions don't seem relevant to his case at all.

Rick Lee said...

It probably WAS watery. Many people make it that way. I like mine not watery... like Starbucks Verona, or coffee with a shot of espresso.

OldGrouchyCranky said...

Ah yes, CNN is a great news organization! After all, they gave us the slogan "TeaBagging" referring to the Tea Party groups.

CNN also exposed the truth about all the phony gold hustlers, like Glenn Beck, etc..., by proving that gold isn't backed by anything, in comparison to US Dollars backed by the full faith in the USA and its wonderful administration.

dbp said...

The problem with venison is that the fat in deer is kind of waxy and strong tasting, so when you cut up a deer you leave all the fat behind. Then the problems with cooking are essentially the same as what you would find with very lean beef: It can be ground together with fat from another animal, commonly beef suet or just use bacon, then you can make sausage or hamburgers out of it. Really the best application is jerky. When you make that, from any animal, you need to remove all of the fat since it will become rancid. Also with jerky, added toughness is a plus.

Sixty Grit said...

Who?

Joe Schmoe said...

A good day is when you go straight from drinking coffee to drinking beer. Lemme guess; Anderson's never had beer either?

Kelly from Georgia said...

I love venison. I've never had bad venison. I had some grilled deer kabobs marinated in teriyaki the other day that would make you slap your grannie.

I'd rather have deer tenderloin the beef.

Kelly

Kelly from Georgia said...

And I'm sorry, but there is no way I'm buying that this man had coffee and spinach for the first time in his life.

Kelly

bagoh20 said...

"bagoh20, I didn't recall you being a kid in PA. What county? (Centre for me)"

Then you are automatically a fine man. I'm from Butler County, PA. Moved to L.A. in 1981. Arrived with $40, no apt, no job, no family, no degree.

I'm doing better now. Angelina is cooking me dinner and Brad is cutting the lawn.

pj (lowercase) said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bagoh20 said...

"bagoh20, I didn't recall you being a kid in PA. What county? (Centre for me)"


Then you are automatically a fine specimen of a man.

I'm from Butler County. A desperately bad economy in 1981 forced me to Move to L.A. Arrived with $40, no job, no apt, no family, no degree, no sense.

I'm doing better now: Angelina is cooking dinner, and Brad is mowing the lawn.

Fred4Pres said...

venison is fine. It is sort of like sirloin. It can be gamey like lamb. Like any animal, a yearling is best. Older animals tend to be tougher and gamier. It is lean and you have to make sure not to over cook it. Alternatively it makes very good jerky.

I make a point to get grass fed beef and you have to make sure not to over cook it. Rare is best. High heat seared.

Fred4Pres said...

I am not on cooked spinach myself (or canned). But fresh spinach salad is very good.

I am actually surprised Cooper does not like veggies. So what does he eat (for food not sexually)? I find it hard to see him as a big time carnivore. Maybe fish?

Fred4Pres said...

What is really good is walleyed breaded with pretzels.

Phil 3:14 said...

Oh boy, I haven't looked at all of the comments but given Mr. Cooper's "persuasion" can I assume someone posted:

"Anderson Cooper tried _____ for the 1st time and found it..."

Phil 3:14 said...

Yup, as I guessed

Jennifer said...

I can't understand people who refuse to try things that are all around them.

When my French professor in college took me out and I learned he had never taken so much as a sip of alcohol in his life, that was the last date. I don't care if you're not a drinker, but barring rampant genetic alcoholism, how do you not even try a drink? Ever!? Having lived in France where wine is cheaper than water!? That makes me think you are rigidly inflexible, incurious and awfully timid.

WestVirginiaRebel said...

Anderson Cooper: Two last names for half a man...

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