May 31, 2011

You can be a great lawyer when the judge doesn't have access to the case law.

"A BAT who fell upon the ground and was caught by a Weasel pleaded to be spared his life. The Weasel refused, saying that he was by nature the enemy of all birds. The Bat assured him that he was not a bird, but a mouse, and thus was set free. Shortly afterwards the Bat again fell to the ground and was caught by another Weasel, whom he likewise entreated not to eat him. The Weasel said that he had a special hostility to mice. The Bat assured him that he was not a mouse, but a bird, and thus a second time escaped."

That's an Aesop fable. The official moral is: "It is wise to turn circumstances to good account."

43 comments:

Fred4Pres said...

Is this guy representing Anthony Weiner? Because sometimes a wiener is not Weiner's.

Seven Machos said...

So a bat, a weasel, and a story teller walk into a bar. Bartender says...

Ann Althouse said...

Why didn't the bat just say he was a bat? He *could* have been consistent, and he could have been consistent *by telling the truth.* The answer must be: bats like jerking weasels around OR it was too late in the game for a weasel to learn what a bat is.

Seven Machos said...

The bat knows that weasels don't like animals they've never heard of. If he tells them he's a bat, he'll be killed on principle.

KLDAVIS said...

"The Bat assured him that he was not a bird, but a mouse"...a terrible witness volunteers information that isn't required to answer the question asked.

traditionalguy said...

Is this an Obama tale?

rocketeer67 said...

Why didn't the bat just say he was a bat? He *could* have been consistent, and he could have been consistent *by telling the truth.*

Hey, you're the one who made the bat the lawyer in this analogy. We are talking about lawyers, right? In which case (and not to confuse things further by introducing MORE animals) I would just say: fish gotta swim.

Fred4Pres said...

In Aesops day bats were considered flying mice. They did not have the benefit of modern mammilian classifications.

Heck, South Americans eat Capybarras during Lent and call them "fish." How do you think that makes a Capybarra feel?

Well I think they do not like being eaten.

Fred4Pres said...

Are the weasels the media or lawyers?

Coketown said...

I find this story to be full of bad morals.

bagoh20 said...

We prefer to be called ferrets ("an active and persistent searcher"), and we consider it an insult when called a weasel (a lawyer). Please update your PC dictionary.

deborah said...

Gophur my coffee, bago :)

Penny said...

Fabulists are fabulous!

Methadras said...

Or lie to get out of a tough situation.

Smilin' Jack said...

Why didn't the bat just say he was a bat? He *could* have been consistent, and he could have been consistent *by telling the truth.*

I'm pretty sure there's another Aesop's fable (forget which one) of which the moral is: "Don't engage in legalistic hairsplitting when you're about to be eaten."

Fred4Pres said...

The bat could have claimed to be a small flying badger and a member of the weasel family. That might have worked.

Henry said...

Another time the bat was caught by a platypus who used him for fish bait. The end.

Loren Ibsen said...

Seven Machos:

It this classroom, you must engage the hypothetical!

A rope walks into a bar after a long day and orders a beer. Bartender says "See the sign? (points We don't serve your kind here."

The rope hops onto a stool and grabs some peanuts. "I'm not a rope, so I'll have that beer, if you please."

Bartender eyes him skeptically, but the rope seems so self assured. Bartender walks closer and squints a little. "YOU'RE not a rope?"

"My good man, I'm a frayed knot."

(unbelievable! WV: "entinati")

Penny said...

Althouse ponders...

"Why didn't the bat just say he was a bat?"

That would have been the honest thing to do, after all.

Wikipedia provides insight on Aesop and honesty.

"Apollonius of Tyana, a 1st century CE philosopher, is recorded as having said about Aesop:

... like those who dine well off the plainest dishes, he made use of humble incidents to teach great truths, and after serving up a story he adds to it the advice to do a thing or not to do it. Then, too, he was really more attached to truth than the poets are; for the latter do violence to their own stories in order to make them probable; but he by announcing a story which everyone knows not to be true, told the truth by the very fact that he did not claim to be relating real events. (Philostratus, Life of Apollonius of Tyana, Book V:14)"

Penny said...

So the answer to the question, "Why didn't the bat say he was a bat?"

Because bats can't talk, silly!

deborah said...

It would have been in bat taste.

Fen said...

So why does the bat keep falling out of the air?

Fred4Pres said...

The bat could have also had rabies and bit the weasel. And then the weasel died. The end.

virgil xenophon said...

It all sounds like the way the Obama Admin is arguing tax/not-a-tax in the courts re the individual mandate and assoc. "penalties" under Obamacare.

Mark O said...

It's hard to be even a mediocre lawyer with stupid judges. And, there are many, many, many stupid judges.

Peter Hoh said...

So this post isn't about Weiner and/or Schumer?

Trooper York said...

I was on jury duty today. The two lawyers were just about the most douchebaggy of douchebages I have ever seen.

It was comical.

Ann Althouse said...

"I was on jury duty today. The two lawyers were just about the most douchebaggy of douchebages I have ever seen."

They let *you* on a jury.

LOL!

Don't Tread 2012 said...

@ Loren

That was just plain awful.

"The official moral is: It is wise to turn circumstances to good account."

For whom? A fable is a fable. I see no moral component; the thought I am left with is that it must be fine to provide any kind of lie to save your own skin.

Describes the political weasels we see daily. Ho hum.

Martin L. Shoemaker said...

Ann Althouse said...

"I was on jury duty today. The two lawyers were just about the most douchebaggy of douchebages I have ever seen."

They let *you* on a jury.

LOL!


Why not? He's perfectly impartial: he hates both lawyers equally! (But he has no problem with law professors, of course.)

Jose_K said...

South Americans eat Capybarras during Lent and call them "fish."
when the pope bought the souls of native americans, he paid with the right not to eat fish very friday but in good friday.
Why cappibara? because is not cow or pork so some people eat it, Nobody here has ever call it fish.
http://www.noticias24.com/actualidad/noticia/241308/iguanas-tortugas-y-carpinchos-manjares-de-la-semana-santa-en-colombia/
In my knowledge the fish thing is is one of those internet legends. Abraham Lincoln

Jose_K said...

A fable is a fable. I see no moral component
a fable without a moral is not a fable. Greeck and romans were rough people. La Fontaine were not smother eithr but
They represent a simple fact of life the weak to survive need to outsamrt the strong. Aesop, Fedro and La Fontaine , who also wrote some erotic tales, presented a individualist ,egoist and realist moral:survive of the smartest.
they were not intended for kids orthe weak of heart unable to survive

Fen said...

stupid bat

*stomp*

Iulian said...

What is better to be in USA judge or lawyer?? I am a Law graduate myself but I don't know what job to begin? Lawyer, judge or notary? In my country notary men an women earned more than 150000 dollars a month before the crisis. Now I think they are like bankrupt...:) because of the few real estate transactions...they charged great taxes from the real estate transactions... The interesting fact is from what I've heard in USA notary is a job almost non existing... Their functions maybe are taken by the lawyers but I don't know for sure I don't know the USA system.

Can anyone tell me more??

Fen said...

Being a judge has more perks.

And its an easy entry. If a dingbat like Klopper can get on the ballot in Wisconsin, my dog can.

Hey!...

Trooper York said...

No they didn't let me on a jury.

They challenged me and the other two people who were over 50. You see lawyers are like teachers. They can only bully kids who don't have their own opinions and life experiance where they can call bullshit.

Which was a real fuck-up for the defense attorney as I was totally sympathetic to her defendant and would have led the jury to get him off.

You see all of the kids they kept (all in their twenties or younger) were scared shitless. I was not. And I mocked the lawyers as best I could without being cited for contempt. I even made the tight assed female judge chuckle.

But they still dumped me because they were afraid.

Lawyers are essetnially bullies and they don't want anyone who would stand up to them.

Trooper York said...

When they started questioning us about our attitudes about the police it was comical. You see the dumb ass prosecutor thought as a big fat Irish guy I would a total police supporter.

When they asked for peoples opinion's they were all "well I respect them and they have a hard job" and "Well there are bad apples sometimes" and "I have bad experiances with them but I could be fair."

I said "I think they just made a big mistake when they changed the height requirement. There is nothing worse than a midget cop. You know a Napoleon is not just a pastry.

Even the tight ass Cynthia McKinney judge laughed.

Trooper York said...

Of course I found out later that the cop in the case was about 5'1"

Trooper York said...

It was a drunk driving case from 2009. Hows that for a speedy trial.

It was a DUI where the guy did not get in an accident but swerved in front of the police station and was quote "rude and belligerent" to the police and refused to take a breathalzer.

And he was an Arab.

Could this just be a case where a midget cop got his balls twisted.

I mean Ackbar was about six two and 275. You know that mighty mouse couldn't wait to but the braclets on this mook.

Trooper York said...

They eliminated three people. A super liberal Jewish woman who was a writer and over fifty. A screen writer from LA who had moved to Williamsburg and was the epitome of the NPR listening prius driving tofu eating Robert Cooker. And me.

Of course we were all adults and the rest of them were kids. That the douchenozzle lawyers could bully.

Trooper York said...

Tryrion Lannister got a fairer trial.

Trooper York said...

I did give the defense attorney a card and told her to come by the shop.

She really needed to upgrade her look. She really looked schlumpy.

Wiener would never send her a photo of his member.

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