May 31, 2011

James Wolcott, a 59-year-old man, purports to empathize with Piper Palin and...

... tries to enfold her in his flabby old arms with the pretense that he is somehow cooler than her parents:
Piper in that shot looks like Grace, the elder daughter played by Ruby Jerins in Nurse Jackie....

My "sources" tell me is that a future stop on Palin's bus tour will at Randy's Rodeo in San Antonio, Texas, the site of the Sex Pistols' infamous gig in 1978. Todd Palin intends to stand on the very spot where Sid Vicious staggered. I had no idea Todd was so "into" punk history, and wish I could be there when he explains to Piper what Sid and Johnny Rotten meant to America, and from there they'll all be heading to the Alamo to find the basement where Pee Wee Herman's bike is reputed to be.
Hmm.

Wolcott is...
Hip and cool.
Sweetly empathic.
Squicky.
Pathetic.
  
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59 comments:

cubanbob said...

Wolcott is one of the reasons I no longer subscribe to VF. What a putz.

Fred4Pres said...

Wolcott is a creep and I would never let my kids anywhere near him.

mccullough said...

Pathetic.

David said...

I voted pathetic, but ready for indictment might do also.

Fred4Pres said...

Wolcott's rig.

What could go wrong?

garage mahal said...

Shouldn't Piper be in school?

Amartel said...

Pathetic. That goes for "commentators" who regularly base their commentary on what they imagine someone is thinking based on a photograph. Also for liberal blitherheads who just can't help talking about all things Palin. Also for James Wolcott in particular, vile pretentious wicked old tool that he is, for doing a bad impression of pretending to care about a child.

NotYourTypicalNewYorker said...

Wolcott is the one person that I cannot stomach reading and Vanity Fair suffers more (if that is possible) from having him in its roster.

BTW: The Drudge link for this cretin has been busted for years, it must be by design and properly so.

Fred4Pres said...

You need a catagory for "creepy old man who wants young girls to sit on his lap and look in his pockets for quarters."

Sebastian said...

Let us all remember that Wolcott described Sarah Palin as John McCain's "fuck buddy" in the pages of Vanity Fair in the fall of 2008.

Fred4Pres said...

As is typical when he gets into one of these moods, James Wolcott's white, hairless, gelatinous thighs are quiverring with anticipation while his glands are exuding an offensive odor of musk and rotten fermented cabbage.

Hence the reason Vanity Fair encourages him to work from home. Or so it is alleged.

Dustin said...

It's amazing how Sarah Palin being around her family automatically means it's OK to talk about them like this.

But it isn't OK to say this stuff about child Chelsea (no longer a child, but I mean back then) or Malia and Sasha.

I recall for a moment, Rush did trash Chelsea's appearance, and that was a big deal (he was as asshole to do that). But apparently everyone on the left keeps going forever. It's not isolated, and it's cheered.

Yeah, I guess that's almost Wolcott's point about why these kids are saints.

As far as I'm concerned, Palin's love for her family is awesome and obviously real. I don't care what your politics are, that's something to admire. It's pathetic that lefties don't see the opportunity here. Praise those real family values, and then criticize Palin on policy issues, and come out looking real damn decent.

Wolcott's approach is pathetic.

rhhardin said...

I know where I heard the name Wolcott from.

He's Paul Simon's lyricist.

Synova said...

I thought some old guy really tried to hug her.

As for the article... it was cute. It wasn't nasty like so much is, unless the thing about Peewee Herman was a joke.

The scowl on Piper's face is adorable.

NotYourTypicalNewYorker said...

...Neck hurtin' bad, as he bends to pick a dog end!

Don't Tread 2012 said...

James Wolcott is describing every other kid her age, too.

Nothing to see here. He can dream up any old thing he believes she might be thinking.

It is ridiculous to try to relate this picture with fictitious television.

Is this the best he can do?

Reportage has become incredibly low-brow and fodder for the simple.

traditionalguy said...

Piper and Momma are being entertained in NYC by the Donald tonight. I bet Piper fires him if he doesn't give her Momma the respect she's earned. Trump does understand gifts of money...they have opened doors since god started the world. So Trump will make a large donation.

Pogo said...

Long ago, Vanity Fair boasted of Dorothy Parker, Gertrude Stein, D. H. Lawrence, and Aldous Huxley.

Now Wolcott brews weak tea, strained through its pages.

Maguro said...

Well, at least ARod wasn't mentioned.

Don't Tread 2012 said...

The long days of Shockley are gone
So is football Kennedy style
Famous last words taken all wrong
Wind up on the very same pile
2.50 for a decade
And a buck and a half for a year
Happy hour, happy hour
Happy hour is here

I can cry, beg and whine
T'every Rebel I find
Just to give me a line
I could use to describe

They'd say, "Baby eat this chicken slow
It's full of all them little bones."
"Baby eat this chicken slow
It's full of all them little bones."

edutcher said...

God, these people are desperate.

Kensington said...

Dustin it's still not okay to talk about Chelsea Clinton. She's going to go through menopause in a few years and we're still going to have to treat her with kid gloves even when she overtly injects herself into the political arena.

Now as for Wolcott, he's a quintessential douchebag and an A-number one prick, yet this particular blog post doesn't seem particularly objectionable.

And I agree with Synova that Piper is downright adorable in that picture.

nevadabob said...

This is a media child molestation.

If I was Todd Palin, I'd beat the fuck out of him he ever got near me or my family.

nevadabob said...

"Shouldn't Piper be in school?"

Where they can teach her to be the kind of homo that you say is weird and that you hate, Garage?

No, the last place any parent would want to willingly put their child is into the danger of a public school system.

PS: It's summer, you fucking moron.

Albatross said...

It wasn't nasty like so much is, unless the thing about Peewee Herman was a joke.

That is the joke. When Jan Hooks quipped, "There's no basement in the Alamo", she was telling the truth. And that's why it was funny.

And that's why what Wolcott said was an attempt at humor. He's implying Todd is as stupid as a poor man-child on his first visit to the Alamo City.

(Don't forget to see where Ozzy peed on the Alamo! Except it was really the cenotaph nearby, not the Alamo itself.)

Synova said...

Yeah, but...

If I took my kids to see the Alamo, I'd most certainly be talking about PeeWee Herman. Sure, it's sort of a 40-something (the same age as Piper's parents) in-joke that the kids won't really get, but still.

Jay Vogt said...

Memo to Mr. Wolcott

Catholic here. We don't really do "trends in theology".

john said...

Sebastian -

Does that mean Piper is their love child? ooh.

Wolcott's link to the NYT article headline: "Palin Talks to the Media, for Three Minutes"

They're complaining! Now that's funny.

edutcher said...

garage mahal said...

Shouldn't Piper be in school?

Maybe she goes to school in a district where there aren't union teachers, then her school year would look like mine did - out by the beginning of June.

DADvocate said...

"Pervert" should have been a choice.

Paco Wové said...

I voted 'squicky' because 'hideous bloated pus-bag' was not an option.

john said...

Palin's summer tour schtick:
pointedly ignore the media while making sure they cover her and her family's every move and gesture. The more they are snubbed, the more they become all-Palin-all-the-time fanatics. Why, it's like she is pulling them around on a leash.

At least it provides Wolcott with snark material so he can continue to work from home.

garage mahal said...

PS: It's summer, you fucking moron.

P.S.S. It's still Spring, and kids are still in school. Think before you post, fool.

Synova said...

My kids are out of school.

Browndog said...

Maybe Obama should direct Arne to investigate, and have Sebillius remove the child from harm and become a ward of the state, and raised "properly"

Clearly she's being neglected, and abused, and tragically hasn't learned anything over this Memorial Day weekend visiting historic site--unlike her peers.

Maybe Piper needs to be seated at a table, amongst adults, who will in some part influence her future

Robert Cook said...

None of the above.

I'd say you're willfully misrepresenting Wolcott's blog entry to provoke a response, or, if you sincerely believe his remarks had the slightest relation to your extreme misinterpretation of them, you're simply not paying attention.

Correct answer: Wolcott is being snarky.

mythusmage said...

One thing I can trust the Alcott commentariat for is insightful, indepth, mature commentary. And 8th grade snark.

john said...

Hey Cookie, we agree on something.

Now when are you going to start calling Palin a war criminal?

PETER V. BELLA said...

Wolcott is detestable, despicable, deplorable, and disgusting.

Paco Wové said...

My kids have finished school for the year, also.


Any other brilliant insights, GM?

Pogo said...

But Paco, it's still Spring!

Paco Wové said...

Hey, the school board knows that some important life lessons have to come from outside the classroom -- corn detasslin', possum huntin', jack lightin', mud buggin', four wheelin', monster truck pullin'. Gotta give them sprats a well rounded education.

ricpic said...

Why don't you tell us what Sid Vicious and Johnny Rotten meant to America?

Robert Cook said...

"Hey Cookie, we agree on something.

"Now when are you going to start calling Palin a war criminal?"


Given that Palin hasn't a whisper of a chance to reside in the White House, I'd say never. Right now, she's just an opportunist riding the gravy train.

However, should some sort of bizarro world Rapture occur that results in a President Sarah Palin being sworn in, then it'll happen as soon as she gives the assent to continue our terror wars of mass murder abroad.

ricpic said...

I detasselled corn once around Ames, Iowa. Ah, those were the days.

ricpic said...

Cookie's Quandary

Terror wars of mass murder, they're the best kind;
What a relief from making The New Man, that old grind.

Robert Cook said...

"Why don't you tell us what Sid Vicious and Johnny Rotten meant to America?"

I don't know who you're talking to, but I'll bite. The answer: nothing.

They were a brief freak show of the least possible interest or moment to America, forgotten before they were really even known.

(I say this as someone who was mad for punk rock at the time, of the same age as the Sex Pistols and their peers. I'll tell anyone who'll listen, though, that "punk rock," so-called, started in America, and the best bands associated with the genre were American bands. Johnny Rotten was a striking stage presence and uncommonly sharp lyric writer. But...America? America didn't know or care in the least.)

Serr8d said...

Jeff Goldstein told James Wolcott to go pleasure himself with a swordfish. Which inspired this.

PatCA said...

I hope Sarah does not run for one reason: I want the media to completely fall apart when they realize their hysteria has been for nothing.

EDH said...

Sex Pistols Live Randy's Rodeo, January 1978

EDH said...

Instead, Todd should meet James Wolcott in Tulsa and hit him over the head with a bass guitar.

DADvocate said...

kids are still in school.

Depends where you're at. Kids in Knoxville have been out for a week. My kids in Kentucky will be out at the end of the week.

Andrea said...

The last day of school for public school students in the Matanuska-Susitna Alaska Borough (where Wasilla is) was May 25th. You can download a printable calendar from this site. I hope that helps.

PS: I don't actually know if Piper Palin goes to public school or private school, but I imagine that the reason the Palins are on this tour now is because she finally was free of her school obligations. I apologize to all Sarah-Palin-Hater-Americans for using common sense instead of making up some sinister conspiracy theory or making a "guess the snowbilly doesn't care if her kid finishes school, hurr hurr" joke.

nevadabob said...

"P.S.S. It's still Spring, and kids are still in school. Think before you post, fool."

No it's not, you dumb fuck. It's summer.

Listen Garage, you need to understand something. Just because YOUR kids are still in school doesn't mean EVERYBODY'S kids are still in school you fucking dolt.

School districts across the country operate independently. But I don't expect you to know that because you're too fucking stupid to know how shit works in this country. It's why nobody, and I mean nobody, not even the OTHER liberals who comment on this blog, take you seriously.

You're kind of stupid.

Lots of times, when you comment, you reveal your ignorance of how the world works outside your little zone of limited knowledge and this is one of those times. And so even the liberal commenters here don't take you seriously.

You're just kind of stupid uninformed and uninteresting.

Whatever, kid. Stay on the side of Democrats. You're our best weapon.

Methadras said...

Oh, I'm sure Wolcott wants to empathize with her a lot.

traditionalguy said...

Garage...You are never stupid. You are interesting and concise in your comments. But somedays your slightest errors will be jumped on when you are making other good points. I suspect that you are in a hurry to get comment thoughts out because you need to go do something else, and we empathise with you on that.

Paco Wové said...

Traditionalguy:

garage is frequently stupid. He has been getting stupider of late, ever since Scott Walker ate his brain. Now he pulls a stupid, catty, passive-agressive, nay, womanish stunt, apparently attempting to insinuate that Palin is so driven by ambition that she would sacrifice her kids education to her political ambitions. The tiniest bit of research would have shown that the charge was baseless, but thinking and logic are useless to garage, because all that counts to garage are his feelings.

Your weird little tongue-bath of him is downright squicky, Wolcott-league squicky. Stop it. Or get a room.

Trooper York said...

The only time Garage Mahal is stupid is when he roots for that stupid team the Green Bay Packers who only won the Super Bowl because the league fixed it so a small market team could win once in awhile.

Green Bay Packers=stupid.

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