April 15, 2011

"Man catches fire while watching porn at San Francisco sex shop; vic ran out 'engulfed in flames.'"

"An employee told police the man was watching a movie in the back of the store when he ran out screaming and on fire..."

41 comments:

Scott M said...

Does the comedic irony increase if it was gay porn the flaming man was watching?

Sixty Grit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
cassandra lite said...

Friction.

Ignorance is Bliss said...

I thought you needed to rub two sticks together.

EDH said...

I'm the firestarter, twisted firestarter

bagoh20 said...

I know what Paris Hilton would say.

Surfed said...

He could have hosed himself off.

MarkG said...

I hate when that happens.

NotYourTypicalNewYorker said...

The fast and the furious.

Sheepman said...

What's the criminal act here: Being on fire in the theater or not yelling "I'm on fire" in the theater?

Scott M said...

If you start to chafe, you need to lay off for a week or this is exactly what happens...I've heard. On the other hand (no pun intended), full-body inflagration is a much better parental threat than yesteryear's "you'll go blind" or "you'll grow hair on your palms".

Of course, I can't see for shit and I'm do for a hand-waxing.

edutcher said...

What a dilemma for the Lefties:

For 40 years, they push the Let It All Hang Out meme. When it does, it's not fire-retardant.

Watch Newsom (if he's still there) jump all over this one.

Scott M said...

Does the comedic irony increase if it was gay porn the flaming man was watching?

Well, it was San Fiasco, after all.

john said...

A David Carradine fan, perhaps? Was he yelling "Oh my God, I made a mistake, I made a mistake!"?

DaveW said...

I am way behind on these things. Can anyone offer an explanation for how this guy did this to himself? The ignition could have been by lighting a cigarette, I'm just trying to figure out what flammable material he had put all over himself.

...on the other hand maybe I don't want to know.

Scott M said...

Maybe he's a joker in the George R.R. Martin sense and flammable man-goo is his affliction.

Speaking of GRRM, "Game Of Thrones" starts Sunday night...

DADvocate said...

Wow! That's worse than hair on you palms or going blind.

bagoh20 said...

I didn't click through, but I'm guessing: Butane lighter, pocket, over-involvement in the movie plot, inadvertent rubbage, then presto, instant flame and fame.

traditionalguy said...

What the Hell. God has a sense of humor.

PaulV said...

I thought it just made you go blind.

Don't Tread 2012 said...

Burning sensation???

rmblam said...

The guy is clearly an overachiever. He doesn't just smoke after sex.

ironrailsironweights said...

I'm due for a hand-waxing.

I don't think I like the sound of that.

Peter

that-xmas said...

That damn amyl nitrate gets ya every time...

Moose said...

Wasn't that what happened to Richard Pryor?

Gary said...

First it was the mens' shorts thing and now this case of post-mature conflagration. It's been asked before, but who the hell told Althouse?

MnMark said...

who the hell goes to a theater to watch porn anymore?

Phil said...

Ur doin it rong

Scott M said...

Ur doin it rong

I think he was doing it overly well, actually.

KenK said...

I didn't realize places like that even existed anymore what with the internet and digital devices. And in Frisco? How does a sleaze hole like that pay the rent?

Chip Ahoy said...

WARNING: Smoking cigarettes can be highly dangerous while inhaling amyl nitrates.

Darwin Awards called and said this is what they are looking for.

Methadras said...

"When you are on fire and running down the street, people will get out of your way."

Richard Pryor

Methadras said...

New fetish?

William said...

Man's ongoing quest for fire. The article doesn't state what movie he was watching. Shoddy journalism. Probably the most important detail, and they leave it out. A porn movie that occasionally causes spontaneous combustion would probably be a big hit. It would be like absinthe. Maybe it was the Edwards tape.

Palladian said...

"who the hell goes to a theater to watch porn anymore?"

It wasn't a theater, it was a shop with "buddy booths", little rooms with token-operated monitors. Most men go to these in order to suck or get sucked. Watching porn isn't the primary goal of the expedition. It's a way to hook up with complete anonymity without having to rent a motel room. I think the clientele is primarily closeted, married men getting their after-work cock fix before going home to the wife & kids.

The man in this story almost certainly spilled "poppers" (various alkyl nitrites such as amyl nitrite, butyl nitrite/nitrate that are often inhaled during sex) on himself and then ignited them accidentally. These shops absolutely reek of a combination of alkyl nitrites, disinfectants and the various elastomers used to cast the dildos and butt-plugs on sale there. It's a testament to the strength of the male sex drive that men would willingly enter these ghastly places in search of release.

fatass said...

needs a better lube

Trooper York said...

Jeez I hope Jeremy didn't hurt himself.

Methadras said...

Hmmm... Paging Titus?

Larry said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Larry said...

Someone asked for the tile of the video he was watching...

A Cock Worked Orange

Doc's said...

C'est Bon!

Haaaalarryious...AcockworkedOrange!
hoho

VanderDouchen said...

@moose and methedras

Dang, late to the party. One must be quick to the punch line here.

"Richard Pryor was unavailable for comment."

WV: umews:

ixlr8 umews