UPDATE: The document, which had been posted at scribd, was deleted soon after I posted, but not before I copied it. Here, then, is the full text:
Because of their extensive, lifelong, union freeloading (Althouse, the breadwinner of their pathetic, sexual-frustration driven “family” is an AAUP freeloader, a public sector secondary education freeloader, a University of Michigan freeloader, a University of Colorado freeloader and, most disgustingly to us, a University of Wisconsin Freeloader), their movement freeloading (they have greatly enhanced their reputation and social currency both within her nauseating Tory brotherhood they represent and across the ￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼ Op:countertroll Vs Althouse and Meade 3/18/11 11:41 AM currency both within her nauseating Tory brotherhood they represent and across the http://www.scribd.com/doc/50869881/Op-countertroll-Vs-Althouse-and-Meade Page 2 of 7 ￼internet by wandering around Madison lying about all they see) their repeated lies and general commitment to irresponsible citizen-journalism (how dare they sneak around an ongoing citizen protest movement taking pictures of trash minutes before our volunteers clean it), their false claims to have infiltrated the movement despite the fact that as a decentralized, participatory and democratic movement #wiunion cannot be “infiltrated” and indeed welcomes the attention of hostile outside observers, their attempts to incite Tea Party Falangists to act on their sadistic and violent impulses against fourth grade teachers and their students, and their desecration of the statue of Hans Christian Heg Ann Althouse and Meade are hereby put on notice.
NOTICE – YOUR CITY OF MADISON PRIVILEGES HAVE BEEN REVOKED.
MADISON IS A #WIUNION CITY AND WE ARE MADISON.
Did you really think this could go on forever? That you could sit on the steps of our house, walk the streets of our city, lie about us to strangers, tell gun-toting rednecks from out of state and the Northwoods how depraved and deserving of punishment we are all while maintaining plausible deniability for any of the consequences that your actions might cause? Did you think you could fuck with HANS and get away with it?
This isn't a one way fight any more. We will take it from the internet right to [DELETED: My actual street address — parenthetical by Ann Althouse]. Do you have any idea where you live? Let us spell it out for you. We understand that you like to eat on the square. You like the Baked Potato at the Old Fashioned, do you? There were five of us in there last Tuesday. You like to eat at Fresco? We're in the Overture eating, serving, cooking, playing, and performing. At least twenty of us have worked for Food Fight. You like to fucking drink at FAIR TRADE do you? At FAIR TRADE? You are citizen-BANNED from Fair Trade. We will Walker you straight out of the place whenever you show up. We are at every coffee shop on State, open to close, all the time. We will hang up wanted posters of you everywhere you like to go. We will picket on public property as close to your house as we can every day. We will harrass the ever loving shit out of you all the time. Campus is OCCUPIED. State street is OCCUPIED. The Square is OCCUPIED. Vilas, Schenk's Corners, Atwood, Willy Street – Occupied, Occupied, Occupied, Occupied. Did you really think it was all about the Capitol? Fuck the Capitol, we are the CITY.
We are hard-drinking, weed-smoking, rude, obnoxious, auto-didactic, uppity fucking TOWNIES. We know you hate us. We know you hate us because we ruin your imaginary, Men's Magazine, UW Admission's Pamphlet, Madison Magazine, Isthmus Arts vision of our City. You think that our town should be on perpetual vigil just in case you needalittlepeaceandquiet. YouthinkweshouldgodownquietwhileWalker economically rapes us because you want to lead a fucking tour group? Sorry babe, not gonna happen. And because you couldn't even show a modicum of fairness, integrity, or neutrality and because you had the iron fucking stones to try to pull this here, on OUR campus, in OUR city, in OUR state in OUR country (and that is about the only reason we have any grudging respect for you), now YOU are a target.
And guess what – we aren't SDS. We aren't fucking TAA. We aren't Timmy “olive branch” Cullen, we aren't yogi, granola-eating types you see at Willy Street or whatever. We are NOT radically nonviolent. We comply with the laws of the City because it is our City and we love it, but OH MY GOD do we hope Meade tries to get all tough with us. WE LOVE IT. LOVE IT. Just last night we saw a Jimmy John's worker who we know beat the ever loving shit out of some idiot drunk asshole who wouldn't be civil and polite in his workplace. We have the numbers and we don't back down from anyone. We all know each other. We know each other from Service Industry Night at the Orpheum, because we're regulars at the same coffee shops, restaurants and bars, we know each other from the co-ops, we know each other because we've had a million jobs each (and we all worked at CapTel at least once), because we live in every shitty townie house in ever-changing groups of 2 – 7 people, because we are young and horny and screw each other incessantly, because we're all on facebook, and because we aren't anti-social, life-denying, world-sterilizing pieces of human garbage like the two of you. WE WILL FUCK YOU UP. We will throw our baseballs in your lawn, you cranky old pieces of shit, and then we will come get them back. What are you gonna do? Shoot us? Get Wausau Tea Patriots to form an ad hoc militia on your front lawn? That would be fucking HILAROUS to us. You could get to know the assholes on your side in real fucking life instead of sponging off the civil society we provide for you every single day you draw breath.
Pay your dues or action will be taken. The action will be legal, peaceful, and nonviolent (on our end anyway – if you want to do it the other way fine with us. Meade is a tough guy on LGM or whatever but he's a chickenshit IRL. We dare you buddy. Double dog dare you.) but it will also be swift, decisive, direct, personal and effective.
Our demands are as follows. Choose a package.
Package 1: Pay your damn dues, you Union Freeloading pieces of shit
You are getting fat on union money. You are getting fat on our tax money. You are getting fat on an undeserved bully pulpit that you got from credibility won from the hard struggles of public sector workers, university professors and unions throughout history, and that increased dramatically in scope due to OUR MOVEMENT. So PAY YOUR DUES. Wedemand:
1) Because you have taken the words from our mouth - A complete recantation of all lies about #wiunion (not lies in leagalese – lies in the commonsense moral Op:countertroll Vs Althouse and Meade 3/18/11 11:41 AM http://www.scribd.com/doc/50869881/Op-countertroll-Vs-Althouse-and-Meade Page 3 of 7 definition of the word. Choose an ethical system that you believe is fair, run it by us, and we will let you know which posts violate it) posted on your personal blog, in all comments sections of all other blogs, on your flickr account and your youtube account, spoken in podcasts or on bloggingheads, or said out loud anywhere in Madison. Take it all back. We don't trust you, so we will draft a statement for you.
2) Because you have taken the bread from our table – a 5,000 dollar donation (each) in your own names and made public to the Industrial Workers of the World general fund, the Bradley Manning Defense Fund, the Recall Alberta Darling effort, a group of our choosing that advocates for the pro-democracy movements in #libya, #algeria, #iran or in Pizza for the Protesters (we prefer Ian's, the Nickel or Roman Candle, but any friendly place will do – if you attempt to order us shitty pizza or pizza from an unfriendly restaurant we will eat it and consider are demands still unmet).
3) Because you have attempted to take our very safety and indeed our lives, because you have incited violence against us and above all because you have proven yourselves inadequate to the grave and solemn responsibilites of Citizen- Journalism – Your silence. You want to make everyone shut the fuck up? Be the change you seek. We demand ZERO more posts about us, ever. We demand the admin pw for all of your shit to be publicly posted on a movement friendly facebook group or 4chan. We demand to be allowed to vet everything you post before you post it and edit it for any and all lies related to #wiunion, #wewarewi, #union, #usuncut #opesr #wikileaks #solidarity and #allthatisgoodandholyonthisearth. We demand that you Delete Fucking Everything.
4) You will never, ever, ever, ever in your motherfucking life come within 20 feet of the statue of Hans Christian Heg. Althouse, you are a job-hopping carpetbagger from New England. Meade, you are an obnoxious right-to-work Zombie from southern Ohio who only lives here because its apparently the only place in the world you can get laid. Heg is OURS. We are WISCONSIN. You don't fucking touch Hans Christian. Ever. And that goes double for the Lady on the other side.
Package 2: Move the Fuck out of Our City
Get out, and stay out. Far out. Meade - You ain't no man for this city. We're out on the streets every day, all day. The 77 square is not for y'all. You say we're from out of state? Bullshit. You're from fucking out of state. We'll show you just how fucking Madison we are. Althouse, we will ruin your goddamn career, your comfort, your pocketbook, your sense of safety and wellbeing, and your life.
And don't try to pull up at another one of our cities either. Don't like your AAUP card? Turn it in. If you want to carry water for Koch and the Chamber, they can foot the fucking bill for it. Get a job on the Tea speaking circuit or with AEI or some other garbage think-tank in DC or Claremont or whatevs. We have friends everywhere. All land-grant University towns are occupied. All major cities are occupied. Everywhere with a critical mass of smart, uppity people is Occupied. If you want to advocate for national internetless, right-to-work rural fortress state hell with no transit in or out, you can live in it. If you want to defend Falangist Michigan, move to Pontiac. If you want to make us all work for Olive Garden you can fucking eat there. Why don't YOU go shop at Wal-Mart. Because the shit you wear looks like it comes from places like Jazzman and Bop and we work there too and we aren't having it any more. No more free rides, baby.
If you have not acceded to our demands within a week, it is ON LIKE DONKEY KONG. WE AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE. EVER. WE LIVE HERE 100% OF THE FUCKING TIME. YOU CAN'T BAN MADISON FROM LIVING IN MADISON, BUT WE CAN SURE AS SHIT BAN YOU. WHO ARE YOU GONNA CALL? COPS FOR LABOR? THE CHICKENSHIT TEA ASSWIPES WHO ARE SCARED SHITLESS OF THE TEAMSTERS TRUCKS? THE NATIONAL GUARD? SCOTT WALKER? NO ONE IS GOING TO COME AND CRACK DOWN ON US FOR YOU. THERE IS NO CAVALRY. ITS US VS YOU ON THE STREETS OF THE CITY GOING AS FAR AS IT HAS TO GO UNTIL A) WE WIN OR B) DOOMSDAY.