December 26, 2010

Beautiful and 23...

... Crystal Harris is marrying an 84-year-old man.

ADDED: Or maybe she's 24.
While she was studying psychology at San Diego State University, she started modelling and was noticed by Playboy. She met Hefner on Halloween in 2008 and started dating him in January 2009 while he was also dating identical twin glamour models Kristina and Karissa Shannon. But he ended his relationship with the twins in January this year and has remained monogamous to Crystal since. Crystal once said that she believes she and Hefner were able to bond because she lost a long-time boyfriend in Iraq and he was going through a break up with Holly Madison, whom he dated for 8 years.
It all fits together!

45 comments:

Mary Beth said...

Good for them both.

rhhardin said...

She looks like trouble to me.

chickelit said...

Crystal Harris is marrying an 84-year-old man.

Just remember that the "ick factor" has no weight in anyone's opinion here.

DADvocate said...

A man with a big enough penis, oops, bank roll can always get a hot chick.

ricpic said...

Reporter: Mr. Hefner, considering the age difference have you considered the health implications?

Hef: Hey, if she dies she dies.

peter hoh said...

Twenty-three year old fiancee, for Christmas?!?!?!?

Clyde said...

He's old enough to be her great-grandfather. This badly violates the "1/2 +7" rule. Hef shouldn't be involved with any woman younger than 49. Any woman involved with a man that much older than her is obviously a gold-digger. Hope he gets a good pre-nup.

Clyde said...

@ ricpic

Hef: Hot young chicks

as

Keith Richards: Drugs

former law student said...

I hope Hef has an advance care directive, else Crystal will be calling the shots.

Ron said...

Hef is probably sufficiently pickled in Viagra to be good to...103 at least.

madAsHell said...

Two completely orthogonal agendas.

What could go wrong?

Sixty Grit said...

She should be concerned - he has been divorced twice - that's not a good track record coming into what one hopes is a lifelong commitment to being married.

Who am I kidding? He's Hugh freakin' Hefner, for goodness sake - that ol' boy makes Wilt Chamberlain look like positively chaste by comparison. Hugh, you go, you ol' horn dog. Leave her your fortune. Die smiling.

former law student said...

Hugh, you go, you ol' horn dog. Leave her your fortune.

Who will be Hef's wife when he kicks? Holly Madison must feel like a loser at Musical Chairs, but there's really no telling who will be the overall winner.

Remember Jeanne Calment, the Frenchwoman born in 1875, who died in 1997? Lawyer André-François Raffray bought essentially a remainder interest in her Arles apartment, in 1965 when Calment was 90 years old, leaving her the life estate.

Raffray died in 1995 at the age of 77, with Calment still going strong. His widow continued to pay Calment, and finally won the apartment.

ironrailsironweights said...

I am 100% certain of one thing about Crystal. You all know what that is.

Peter

AllenS said...

Bill Clinton must be thinking that he was in the wrong business.

Belkys said...

In Spanish is a saying that goes "billete mata galán" , Benjamins thrump hunk

john said...

...and has remained monogamous to Crystal since...

more than 11 months! This relationship was made in heaven.

edutcher said...

Yes, but, when they have children, with whom will the kids play?

The Playmates will bore them.

Goju said...

"I plead insanity"

"Inanity?"

"Yeah, I'm crasy about that young stuff."

HT: Cheech and Chong

Harry said...

I wonder if Hef actually does anything with his young sweeties or just likes everyone to think he does. Have any of them written a tell all?

The Crack Emcee said...

Let's see:

She should be concerned - he has been divorced twice - that's not a good track record coming into what one hopes is a lifelong commitment to being married.

plus:

Who will be Hef's wife when he kicks?

Man, the respect for marriage around here is off-the-charts. Thanks, Boomers!

jr565 said...

He better be careful. Somebody here would view this as a reason to chop off Heff's balls.

virgil xenophon said...

O' yea of little faith! This is *undoubtedly* TRUE LUUV! Give the lovebirds a break! Have you no respect? Forsooth!

Maguro said...

Does this mean she gets to choose Hef's nursing home?

J said...

GOPer moralists usually change into just GOPers when discussing one of their obscenely wealthy, amoral heroes such as Hefner.

Hefner's hardly different than a Caponay--but much shrewder and with a phalanx of hired guns, aka attorneys and well-oiled cronies in both Demos and GOP. Most humans out in sodbuster-land have no clue about the clout--and the tactics-- of the CA/NV porn lobby.

dick said...

J,

Who named Hef a hero to the GOP? His philosophy is mainly Democratic, not Republican.

Michael Farris said...

"ADDED: Or maybe she's 24"

Back to Shady Pines, grandma!

chickelit said...

Who named Hef a hero to the GOP? His philosophy is mainly Democratic, not Republican.

Next they'll be saying Larry Flynt is a conservative. I think it's called projection.

David said...

Crystal will still be beautiful at 33. And 43. Or even 53.

Hef will be gone by then.

Robin said...

That's not projection, that is complete incoherence.

cubanbob said...

Old fool and young fool join as one. What could possibly go wrong?

Progressively Defensive said...

He's probably got himself as insulated as a man can be. They have an understanding. And you know ladies, it beats getting taken by an age-peer and finding out 20 years too late. She might be smarter than us all.

dbp said...

Even if lots of things go wrong, he is pretty old: This one may be death till they part.

In the mean-time, the lady is making an honest man out of Hef.

William said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Michael said...

Hefner is the personification of Democratic social policy reduced to its essentials. "If you don't swing, don't ring."

murgatroyd666 said...

Clyde wrote:

Any woman involved with a man that much older than her is obviously a gold-digger. Hope he gets a good pre-nup.

So what else is an 84-year-old man going to do with a few million bucks? Take it with him?

He's getting what he wants. She's getting what she wants. They're both adults.

For he's gone and married Yum-Yum — (Yum-Yum!)
Your anger pray bury,
For all will be merry,
I think you had better succumb — (Cumb! Cumb!)
And join our expressions of glee!

On this subject I pray you be dumb — (Dumb! Dumb!)
Your notions, though many,
Are not worth a penny,
The word for your guidance is "mum" — (Mum! Mum!)
You've a very good bargain in me.

On this subject we pray you be dumb — (Dumb! Dumb!)
We think you had better succumb — (Cumb! Cumb!)
You'll find there are many
Who'll wed for a penny,
Who'll wed for a penny,
There are lots of good fish in the sea!

Saint Croix said...

he was also dating identical twin glamour models Kristina and Karissa Shannon.

So that would be adult incest, plus the ol' grandpa-child sublimation. Hot!

And what is up with the bathrobe? When he goes to the DMV, is he in the bathrobe? Does he never leave his house at all? What kind of moron makes a bathrobe his trademark? It's like bathrobe jail. "I'm not allowed to leave the bathrobe, ever."

When does he start peeing in milk bottles and growing his fingernails to freaky length?

Jason said...

I wonder how much Ol' Hef actually owns in his own name, and how much is owned by an offshore self-settled trust with Hef as the beneficiary.

She'll be fine, I'm sure. But I suspect she may not be as fabulously wealthy after Hef sheds his mortal coil as she may believe.

And at 23, it's unlikely she's aware of how this is done. Hope she has some lawyers change some language on some things to take care of herself.

But if Hef was smart, his stuff is irrevocable.

Freeman Hunt said...

Wonder what her parents think.

former law student said...

I wonder what Anna Nicole Smith's parents thought when she married her elderly wealthy husband.

Be said...

Would love to see an interview with the happy couple on "The View," for example.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8PnRM-m7Dg

Joe said...

One day, one of these bimbos, er, girls gambles is going to pay off and Hef will croak before the divorce.

(At the very least, she needs to get pregnant ASAP and at least live off the inheritance of her child.)

Joe said...

Incidentally, the old man has ruined his own magazine. His penchant for fake breasts and botox has results in a long string of hideous centerfolds (with precious few exceptions scattered in between.)

(Financially, his attempts to hold on to his hip years is costing the company a lot of money.)

Methadras said...

I think Pfizer gave Hef the waiver against the 4+ hour penis hard-on thingy. Hot girl really though and she is much better breeding stock than Holly Madison. Plus, she looks a lot like his last wife, but considering the ugly children he produces, he might be giving this his last, best shot at some beauty.

Methadras said...

Freeman Hunt said...

Wonder what her parents think.


Oh, don't you know? Every playboy playmates parents are nothing but uber supportive of their daughters choice to show their 'talents' to the rest of the world. It's a huge cliche in Playboy land and the guys who read it. So this will be no different. I'm sure Mom thinks she hit the money train and dad is secretly making a noose... for himself.