October 1, 2010

"This is your car?"

"I thought this was Desiree's car."

29 comments:

Quayle said...

"This is your economy? I thought this was the rich man's economy."

(Barak Obama)

Brian said...

I hate when I defecate in the wrong car. So embarassing.

Maybe the army will straighten this guy out. He'll get latrine duty for sure.

AllenS said...

The Army needs to drop this fool. People like this never grow up.

Pogo said...

Aahh, youthful romance.



[props to Quayle]

Fred4Pres said...

Did he bring toilet paper, or did he go hunting for alternatives in the car? Come one, we want details!

We get these stories every now and again, remember the guy who deficated on the drink car on that flight?

Good times. Good times.

Pogo said...

I had pictured Titus much differently.

SteveR said...

I'm embarrased (not really) to say this is where I live. Not anything surprising and not nearly as smelly as when Boise State gets through with the local team (New Mexico State).

MadisonMan said...

The Army needs to drop this fool. People like this never grow up.

I think he deserves a chance to straighten himself out. He's paid for the damage.

Scott M said...

Channeling Tom Griswald, Ann?

AllenS said...

Let me repeat, people like this never grow up. Let him work with you, MadMan.

E.M. Davis said...

He was just emulating his idol, Najeh Davenport.

k*thy said...

For now, as my daughter would say, "Boys..." *sigh*

For the kid's future, MM, I'd agree.

Big Mike said...

Pity about that 8th Amendment prohibition against cruel and unusual punishments. Otherwise the judge could have sentenced this jerk to lick the guy's car clean.

The Drill SGT said...

AllenS said...
Let me repeat, people like this never grow up. Let him work with you, MadMan.


I'm with Allen

MM, repeat after me:

This is my Army. It is a killing Machine, it is NOT a social engineering experiment

Let him clean test tubes in your lab or better yet, send him to the psych dept where they can use him in the abby normal studies

gone for good are the days when kindly white male judges made the sentence "6 months or enlist."

giving this guy grenades and live rounds, or even big expensive heavy equipment to drive around will ultimately put other good soldiers at risk.

soldiering is all about trusting your buddy not to do something really stupid that will get people hurt. This guy fails that entrance test.

Freeman Hunt said...

He paid for the window damage to the car. He did not pay for the owner's having to clean it up!

traditionalguy said...

Marking his territory that way is a sign of a psychotic personality disorder. There is no socially approved way to see weaponized human excrement than as a seriously anti-social attack of a psychopath. here is NO humor component to see that as a prank.

LarsPorsena said...

"AllenS said...
Let me repeat, people like this never grow up. Let him work with you, MadMan.

I'm with Allen

MM, repeat after me:

This is my Army. It is a killing Machine, it is NOT a social engineering experiment.."

I'm constantly baffled by folks who think the Army is some kind of reform school. If some one is a dip-shit in civilian life he's going to be a bigger dip-shit in the Army.

This jerk is why they had to invent the expeditious discharge program.

Bartender Cabbie said...

When I drive a cab I am always on the lookout for a vomiter. I will put them out on the side of the street before someone hurls in my vehicle and ruins my business for the night. It costs money to have on of the "cab porters" at the shop clean up the mess. Never had a shitter though. Guess I had better be on guard.

t-man said...

Not Desiree's Car is a great name for a band.

PatHMV said...

I had to prosecute a college kid for defecating on a car once. His semi-connected father called me to try to get me to drop or reduce the charges. I told him that I would have considered that... if this incident hadn't been his 2nd offense.

Yep, TWICE the kid got so drunk tailgating at a football game that he dropped trou and let go on the outside of some stranger's car. The first time, he got some leniency and went through an alternative adjudication proceeding so that the one episode of college drunkenness wouldn't follow him throughout his life. But the SECOND time? That's going on your permanent record, pal.

John said...

Reminds me of a character (A Crow) in Elmore Leonard's novel "Maximum Bob"

He followed a man to a highway rest stop and shot him. Turned out not to be the man he thought it was.

In court for the murder, he could not understand why the judge was so upset and was going to send him to jail. It was an honest mistake. Could have happened to anyone.

John Henry

PS- As a Navy vet, I agree that he should not be allowed into the army.

Or any other service, for that matter.

There are enough assholes who slip in unbeknownst without letting one in on purpose.

edutcher said...

The Drill SGT said...

AllenS said...
Let me repeat, people like this never grow up. Let him work with you, MadMan.

I'm with Allen

MM, repeat after me:

This is my Army. It is a killing Machine, it is NOT a social engineering experiment

Let him clean test tubes in your lab or better yet, send him to the psych dept where they can use him in the abby normal studies

gone for good are the days when kindly white male judges made the sentence "6 months or enlist."

giving this guy grenades and live rounds, or even big expensive heavy equipment to drive around will ultimately put other good soldiers at risk.

soldiering is all about trusting your buddy not to do something really stupid that will get people hurt. This guy fails that entrance test.


A good friend of ours has a son that went in 18X and, from what I would gather, the first chance this child gives them, he's gone. The days when the Army didn't keep a close watch on someone like this are long over.

El Pollo Real said...

I gotta wonder if wasn't somehow inspired by TV.

In Mad Men, a drunken character named Duck pulls his pants down to take a dump on what he thinks is Don Draper's office sofa.

"What are you doing? This is Roger's office anyways" yells Peggy, stopping him.

LL said...

I guess this guy is a dumb-shit.

lucid said...

This is definitely not a one-time thing for this guy. He should not be given a gun and allowed to go near people in other countries, especially in a state of war.

Seven Machos said...

From the last line of the article:

Hopefully, this was a one-time thing for him

Priceless.

Meade said...

"oops, sorry - wrong number"

Methadras said...

Who does #2 work for?

AllenS said...

A man shows up for a job interview--

Questioner: "Is there anything that you've done that we should know about?"

Applicant: "Well, once I shit in the backseat of a car that I thought belonged to my girlfriend."

Questioner: "That's like totally bad."

Applicant: "Not only that, but I shit in the wrong car."