July 24, 2010

Let's judge old people in their bathing suits.

1. Giorgio Armani, 76, in a Speedo.

2. Jerry Hall, 54, in a tankini.

Judge!
Old people can go swimming, but the question of how they look is a nonissue. They. Are. Old.
Both of them look pretty decent for their age. Let's be charitable and encouraging.
Giorgio looks great at 76 and wears a Speedo with elan. Jerry... blech.
Jerry is fine, but an old guy in a Speedo? Horrible!
  
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IN THE COMMENTS: ironrailsironweights said:
It's amusing that two people who are a generation apart in age are being lumped together as "old."
Oh, yeah. Why did Althouse do that?
Because "old" for women starts early.
Because the Giorgio looks relatively good for his age and Jerry relatively bad.
Because these are 2 photos that happened to pop up in the news today.
  
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56 comments:

ironrailsironweights said...

It's amusing that two people who are a generation apart in age are being lumped together as "old."

Peter

joewxman said...

there really ought to be laws that prevent people from wearing clothes suitable for the much younger. maybe the death penalty for violation. Nothing worse than seeing someone wearing something completely inappropriate for the age and physique.

Jason (the commenter) said...

"Let's judge old people in their bathing suits."

It's so funny when Althouse tries to sex things up.

Jason (the commenter) said...

These people are old, they've lived long lives and gone through God only knows how much hell. Can't they enjoy a day at the beach without being judged?

Lem said...

I assume that if Jerry exercised as much as Armani..

I forgot what I was going to say.

Lem said...

Armani looks better than Jerry ..because?

Charlie Rose leans foward.

Palladian said...

"These people are old, they've lived long lives and gone through God only knows how much hell."

Yes, figuring out which villa to visit this week is an unimaginable hardship.

sunsong said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
joewxman said...

lol Palladian...along with hiring and firing the help.

Scott said...

More beach monsters at www.hispandex.com

Lem said...

If we assume that biologically speaking women are meant to look better than men.. it is safe to say that..

I want to say something and its just not coming out..

..it is safe to say I don't have a biology hat.

sunsong said...

Mimi Kirk won sexiest vegetarian over 50. She is 71 this month and looks great:

kirk

Jason (the commenter) said...

Palladian: Yes, figuring out which villa to visit this week is an unimaginable hardship.

After a certain level, money doesn't make life any easier and you know it.

Why do we have to judge their bodies anyway? Physical beauty is the most common thing in our society. Hell, if you love somebody they'll look beautiful.

dbp said...

Mr. Armani IMHO looks fantastic for his age, though my view of Speedos is similar to Althouse's view of men in shorts. Yes, I realize that in Europe, men commonly wear that type of bathing suit.

Jerry Hall looks average for her age, or at least neither notably great nor notably awful.

Lem said...

..too much empirical work... simply because it looks

ELS = Empirical Look Studies.
CLS = Criticial Look Studies.

GMay said...

I've seen far younger look far worse.

sunsong said...

I think things are changing around age. People are living longer with greater quality of life.

It's becoming more and more absurd, imo, to retire at 65.

rhhardin said...

They look unexceptional to me.

Neither is shopping themselves around.

Freeman Hunt said...

They look fine. I don't know why anyone would bother photographing them. Just people in bathing suits. Is anything tabloid-worthy going on with either of them?

wv: dopecard Ha!

Palladian said...

"After a certain level, money doesn't make life any easier and you know it."

I've had a lot of money (like before 2009) and I've been poor (like now). In my experience, life is a hell of a lot easier when you have money. That's perhaps because I've always had my work to help me deal with the large, existential questions of life, which I think are the things that trouble rich people with no perspective on life. It's the small things, the everyday things like getting from one place to another, and paying the rent, and buying food, and paying the electric bill that are the real, burdensome, terrible toils of life, the toils that disappear when you have a lot of money. The things I consider hell on earth are the things the rich don't have to worry about, except for death.

I actually don't have a problem with the way either of these people look. They don't look beautiful or ugly enough to catch my eye. They just seem unremarkable other than that they are who they are. And even that fact is unremarkable, to me anyway.

But I can't think of anything worse than being out on a beach in the hot sun, so I never have to encounter inappropriately dressed persons of any economic stratum.

Palladian said...

"Is anything tabloid-worthy going on with either of them?"

The actual worthiness of anything considered tabloid-worthy is worth evaluating.

AllenS said...

It was hot out today. After my drive and ten minutes after I got home, I had to carrying a can of gas out to the road to give some motorcyclist some gas, I came into the house and took off my shoes, socks and pants and I was wearing a speedo. I started out today wearing boxers, but they had moved on up.

Palladian said...

"But I can't think of anything worse than being out on a beach in the hot sun, so I never have to encounter inappropriately dressed persons of any economic stratum."

I must amend my comment, as I am constantly forced to encounter inappropriately dressed persons of all economic strata on the streets of my city. That last paragraph should read:

"But I can't think of anything worse than being out on a beach in the hot sun, so I never have to encounter people of any economic stratum wearing inappropriate beachwear."


Actually, no... I see people all the time on the streets wearing inappropriate beachwear...

Forget it.

Dead Julius said...

Hope school starts for 'ya again soon, Althouse... Very soon!

The summertime quality of topicks is going down the drain... Bristol-Levy, indirect Roissy linkage, Journolist speculation, Sharon Spitz, and now what is essentially a more-polite version of a porn blog "Would U Hit It?" thread.

The Giorgio does look great, tho'. Dude exudes class, even in a Speedo, and that is a hard thing to pull off.

AllenS said...

Dead said...

even in a Speedo, and that is a hard thing to pull off.

Why? Was it put on with Super Glue?

Lem said...

The summertime quality of topicks is going down the drain..

If that is so..and I'm not refudiating you on that.. It is up us citizens of Althousia to plug that drain.. isn't it?

Lem said...

Palladian @5:21.. you seem to be your old self again ;)

rcocean said...

IF you're disgusted by a 76 year old in a Speedo, imagine Ezra Klein in one. Yikes!

rcocean said...
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rcocean said...

And I think "speedos" are one European import we can do without. It's like these Euros were envious of the string bikini.

Palladian said...

"IF you're disgusted by a 76 year old in a Speedo, imagine Ezra Klein in one. Yikes!"

Actually Klein's kind of cute. Not speedo material, certainly, but I don't think even attractively-built men look good in those things. I think you were thinking of Matthew Yglesias...

Palladian said...

"And I think "speedos" are one European import we can do without. It's like these Euros were envious of the string bikini."

Without Speedos, fat German tourists would go naked to the beaches in Spain. Thank heaven for small mercies.

Ritmo Brasileiro said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MadisonMan said...

It's becoming more and more absurd, imo, to retire at 65

My Dad, who retired at 67, agrees with you. He thought he had done all the traveling he wanted by age 80 or so, and then he just sat around. If he had waited just a little longer, he would have had less time to sit around doing not much.

He's 88 now.

Freeman Hunt said...

The actual worthiness of anything considered tabloid-worthy is worth evaluating.

Evaluation: Worthless unless it involves a media-favored politician. In that case, it sometimes turns out to be actual news that regular outlets simply won't report to protect their political allies.

edutcher said...

Armani looks good because a man doesn't have to go through pregnancy. If he keeps away from the Budweiser, he can look great in his older years.

At 54, I would call Ms Hall middle-aged, not old; OTOH, it probably says something about the NHS and its jihad against weight that the Daily Mail calls her curvy.

Ashley Graham is curvy, Christina Hendricks is curvy, Althouse (what we've seen of her) is curvy, Ms Hall ain't. But, yes, for her years, she looks quite well.

Women over 40 don bikinis at their peril. The Blonde and I stayed at a RIU hotel in Playa Del Carmen some years ago and were stunned to see women pushing (and having pushed past) 60 wearing them. Most of the people there were Euros, so I guess this is one of their things. Not too many American women past 35 or so are vain enough to do it.

(Come to think of it, there's one person we've never seen in her tankini...)

Chase said...

palladian, as usual, you are on fire with the comments. I wish you would take whatever it was you taught, put yourself on DVD teaching it, and sell the hell out of it on an infomercial or on the web. You'd probably make enough small bank just advertising on Althouse.


Freeman and palladian in the same post - always awesome.

Dead Julius said...

If Jerry Hall starts buying her bikinis at Tangaland24 then it is going to the end of the world.

That'll be it. It'll all be over. As the order arrives at Hall's door, it'll be a sudden black screen for the whole world, just like the last episode of The Sopranos.

BTW, that Tangaland24 is a German shop that sells Euro bikinis. You are warned!!!

For The Girogio, I recommend the Man's Transparent Bag. It's up one German notch from the Speedo.

jr565 said...

While I would normally say old people shouldn't wear speedos (actually I would say no man should wear speedos) Armani has very good body for a 76 year old. He seems to literally have zero wrinkles and little body fat (not to mention no body hair), and I've seen 30 year olds who look far worse when on a beach.
That being said. Speedos simply look gay on almost any man. no speedos.

sunsong said...

If he had waited just a little longer, he would have had less time to sit around doing not much.

He's 88 now.


88's a good age :-) My mom will be 89 in Oct.

Having nothing to do is not what it is cracked up to be. Boredom is a killer.

With longevity increasing - it's likely there will be millions of people living into their 90's and even past 100. To be *retired* for 30+ years is just crazy - and like your dad says - they'll wish they had kept working.

Even a vocation - something that is interesting and meaningful - even fun :-)

Times have definitely changed :-)

AST said...

What's odd to me is that Giorgio's Speedo looks saggier than he does.

John Burgess said...

@joewxman: You're right. Both pictures should have been taken at a nude beach.

WV: fluck, the costumes always make people look like clowns.

Kevin Walsh said...

54 is old now?

www.forgotten-ny.com

joewxman said...

i have an 80 year old spinster aunt who lives in Milan Italy where according to her...the sun rises and sets there and no where else. She visits here and will go out on the beach in a bikini. When in public she wears clothing i usually see on women under 30 trying to get attention. On an 80 year old with sagging breasts and sagging everything else it really looks awful.

People can wear and do what they want and im not a clothes horse by any means ($4 dollar t-shirts from walmart is my version of formal) but for God sakes even i know when something doesnt work.

Blair said...

*weeps for the decline of Jerry Hall's once fantastic body*

I ain't saying she looks bad for a 54yo. I'm just saying that compared to how she used to look.... *sigh*

Synova said...

I sometimes think that we'd all feel better about ourselves if we spent more time at the beach or even at a nude beach with other real people.

I remember the trauma back when I was actually young and way too cute... putting on the swimsuit and looking in the mirror and being horrified that you don't look like the bodies you see all winter... on television... and going to the lake anyway and eventually getting summer bodies to compare yourself to... that *aren't* professional actresses and models.

Chef Mojo said...

And then there is the walking apocalypse known as Donatella Versace.

I'll take your Giorgio and Jerry, and raise you one Donatella.

Read 'em and weep...

DADvocate said...

Armani looks good because a man doesn't have to go through pregnancy.

A convenient but flimsy excuse. I work with a woman of about that age who has 5 kids and looks damn good in a bikini. My mother, who was 5' 8" in you younger days had 6 kids and weighted 125 lbs, her normal weight, the day after delivering each child. You get overweight and out of shape because you don't move around enough, not because of pregnancy.

Penny said...

Judge?

I can do that!

Pick ME! Pick ME!

Penny said...

Haha Althouse? I judge you BAD to the bone.

Penny said...

But perhaps you meant for me to "objectively review" the parties placed before me in swimwear?

Sadly, I need to withdraw my thong from the throng.

veni vidi vici said...

Armani obviously has had some serious implant work done. Those pecs are impeccable, esp. for a 70+ year old. Unless he's taking a bull's scrotum's worth of testosterone via injection on a daily basis, there's not a chance in hell that's a natch physique.

Looks terrific, though.

RigelDog said...

DADvocate, you are sadly misinformed and sadly judgmental about the effect of pregnancy on women's bodies. Some women come through relatively unscathed...my neighbor had 5 kids and wore a bikini and it was a great wonder to me that she had absolutely no extra skin folds or stretch marks. I was not so fortunate. Normal weight gain, BIG babies carried all in front, and 2 C-sections. My abdominal muscles are permanently parted down the middle and there is just more skin than there used to be. Yes, I went back to my normal weight and exercise routine. Legs and arms: great; abdomen, not so much.

Lynne said...

Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass,
of glory in the flower,
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind;
In the primal sympathy
Which having been must ever be...


Wordsworth

former law student said...

Living in America as I do I can confidently say Jerry looks much better than the average 54 year old woman, who is typically a walking ad for cellutitic treatment by age 35. But given the little pooch in her stomach I would say she looks better in the two-piece. I agree with GMay in that there are plenty of women half her age who look far worse.

For those who think Jerry is beyond curvy: When my grandmother was Jerry's age she could enter the water only in a housedress, to disguise what time and pastry had done to her figure. When dressed for the street she always had on her full body shaper, luckily built strong enough to prevent a fleshly explosion.

I don't think of Speedos as being particularly Euro. Speedos were part of our official PE kit when I was a freshman in college. They're designed to swim in, not for looks.

harcout said...

Hall still looks great on string bikinis considering her age.