June 19, 2010

"I want someone w/ personality and energy; someone devoted to our planet and to doing things right."

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(Enlarge to read.)

Saturday details, found on the street in Madison. I have no idea how that slip of paper came to rest on the sidewalk near the Wisconsin state capitol.

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(Enlarge to see cigarette.)

I know how that cigarette came to be in that hole by the door at The Haze. I saw the man who was smoking it stow it there. I think he planned to come back out for more.

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Does a flamingo tablecloth clip, a plastic strawberry, a beer, and a hairy arm require an explanation?

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Is this turkey even right? This was a decal with marker-graffiti on the side of an old trailer parked on the street on the East Side. I imagine the turkey is belatedly making his argument for why the turkey and not the eagle should have been the U.S. national bird. In fact, bald eagles are scavengers, and as Ben Franklin wrote:
I wish that the bald eagle had not been chosen as the representative of our country, he is a bird of bad moral character, he does not get his living honestly, you may have seen him perched on some dead tree, where, too lazy to fish for himself, he watches the labor of the fishing-hawk, and when that diligent bird has at length taken a fish, and is bearing it to its nest for the support of his mate and young ones, the bald eagle pursues him and takes it from him.... Besides he is a rank coward; the little kingbird, not bigger than a sparrow attacks him boldly and drives him out of the district. He is therefore by no means a proper emblem for the brave and honest. . . of America.. . . For a truth, the turkey is in comparison a much more respectable bird, and withal a true original native of America . . . a bird of courage, and would not hesitate to attack a grenadier of the British guards, who should presume to invade his farmyard with a red coat on.
The turkey has personality and energy. He is devoted to our planet and to doing things right.

35 comments:

Penny said...

If the turkey wants to make a run for national bird, he better do so while we are hell bent on ousting the familiar.

Do we have any turkey supporters here at Althouse?

GMay said...

That note pings a 10 on the Vapidity meter.

Jason (the commenter) said...

The turkey has personality and energy. He is devoted to our planet and to doing things right.

So Althouse has come out in favor of man-turkey love. Finally!

Alex said...

All I know is I like my turkey & ham sammich.

bagoh20 said...

The note reminds me that throughout history and today, the level of religious devotion among the peoples is stable and continuous. All that changes is the names of the gods.

bagoh20 said...

""I want someone w/ personality and energy; someone devoted to our planet and to doing things right.""

Someone who enjoys littering as much as I do.

bagoh20 said...

"I know how that cigarette came to be in that hole by the door"

I occasionally enjoy a cigar and if I need to park my truck and go in a store, I will leave the cigar on top of my tire to retrieve when I return. This has never worked. I always forget and drive away smokeless, but the one time I did remember, someone had stolen it. Someone clearly of high moral and sanitary standards. Someone who probably had everything he needed in life except a cigar.

ricpic said...

"...someone devoted to our planet..."

Is there anything more frightening than the humorless?

steveeas said...

Perhaps that arm belongs to one of the Geico guys.

k said...

The arm freaks me completely out.

But you have to tell me about the shoes! I hate hate hate most sandals.

But those, to me, look doable.

Share. Ann. Share. !!

wv - tagniz. I like it, in a meta kind of way.

ricpic said...

As one of the terminally unhip I need an explanation of what the hairy arm, flamingo clip, strawberry and something else I can't remember means.

edutcher said...

Sad to say, but the turkey is one of the dumbest birds in existence. It's so stupid, it hasn't got sense enough to come in out of the rain and will drown while looking up at it as it comes down.

Ben Franklin proposed the turkey as our national bird and he may have been on to something.

WV "nomen" The unofficial motto of feminism.

Alexandro said...

After seeing the red toe paint, I was struck by the lack of lipstick on the Vantage cig.

former law student said...

The note was obviously discarded by the suddenly ex-boyfriend whose former girlfriend left it for him as she threw her belongings into a bag and went out the door. The guy didn't meet her expectations, and she feared the inevitable confrontation.

The wild turkey is a brilliant, subtle, beautiful bird. The white lump of breast meat with legs that American breeders have reduced it to, is not.

former law student said...

To make myself a little clearer: for some time the girlfriend had observed her once fascinating beau devolve into a lazy, inert lump, who roused himself only to drive his V-8 powered SUV to monster truck rallies ( or similarly to despoil our ecosystem). But finally, enough was enough, and she split, leaving only this note as explanation and a final report card -- Grade F.

former law student said...

s/inert/inept/

ironrailsironweights said...

Hey, what's this about body hair? I'm so excited ... oh wait, it's arm hair, and on a man. Never mind.

Peter

Penny said...

Heard he had a daughter, Peter. ;)

Would you think me rude if I suggested you hang in there?

dbp said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
dbp said...

Eagles may scavenge opportunistically, but I have seen them fish and I once saw a bald eagle chasing an empty-handed seagull. It was hunting the seagull, not robbing it.

On the other side of the equation, on the way home from work this Friday, I had to slam-on my brakes to avoid a turkey that strolled into the road. I have never had to take any efforts to avoid killing an eagle.

dbp said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Penny said...

Speaking of hair...

It's surely safe to say that the younger generations will not be voting for anyone bald, which...now that I think about it...gives women an advantage.

Unless birds, of course?

Pogo said...

"I want someone w/ personality and energy; someone devoted to our planet and to doing things right."

Maybe she just saw "Letters to Juliet", a movie tried to insert nearly every known romance cliche' in just under 2 hours.

Were I to answer her query, I would tell her that I hear Al Gore is quite available of late.

6/19/10 9:22 PM

Ralph L said...

too lazy to fish for himself, he watches the labor of the fishing-hawk, ..., the bald eagle pursues him and takes it from him....
Sounds about right for the government emblem.

The dead wild turkey I saw a few years ago had beautiful black iridescent feathers.

Fred4Pres said...

I had a broad breast bronze tom but I gave him to the neighbor. He had a hen and stopped feeding him (he was weighing in around 60lbs). When he lost some weight, he started getting some.

So he is happy.

I don't think he even has to buy her $11 a pint ice cream.

I am not sure that is indicitive of character or not.

Fred4Pres said...

Wild turkeys are well adapted and tough athletic birds.

Domestic turkeys are bread to put on protein and be docile. They are exceedingly stupid.

I was going to say it is like comparing wolves and wild cats to...but there is no domestic breed of dog or cat I am aware of bread to be fat and stupid. Even domestic chickens, sheep and cows, while certainly less agile than their wild cousins, have some wits about them (and pigs are actually still quite smart).

Blue@9 said...

Sad to say, but the turkey is one of the dumbest birds in existence.

Perhaps the turkeys bred for eating are like this, but wild turkeys are damn smart. They can be pretty wily and difficult to hunt.

Robert said...

edutcher: Sad to say, but the turkey is one of the dumbest birds in existence. It's so stupid, it hasn't got sense enough to come in out of the rain and will drown while looking up at it as it comes down.

You'd have to be dumb to believe that old myth about turkeys. The facts.

Scott said...

Everything is so rich...with meaning!

Dead Julius said...

Isn't it proper etiquette to flick the cigarette even if you don't smoke the whole thing?

Now if it were a joint, then I could of course understand keeping it around.

That turkey / bald eagle thing was fascinating. Even back then we picked image over substance, despite Ben Franklin's unsuccessful prodding to take the righteous mascot.

Because I Said So said...

Do you think he/she would settle for someone with personality and energy; someone devoted to perfectly matching her toenail polish and summer dress?

Penny said...

NO.

Penny said...

Ha ha, sorry. I am from the "Contrarian School".

It's in my blood.

Which is RED, by the way! ;)

Gahrie said...

1) Turkey tastes good.

2) You want to know how to forever get the Bald eagle off the endangered list? Make it a holiday tradition to eat Eagles on July 4. We'd end up with millions of eagles on farms across the country.

c3 said...

As to the note on the pavement, why am I imaging someone who copied that down in anticipation of the on-line dating match and then....well....

After the date, not so much