June 6, 2010

"Al and Tipper are clearly thinking not in terms of the years behind but the years ahead."

"For them, there is still a whole lot of 'everything' to come. It may not be the fairy tale, but it is a classically American tale, with its themes of hope and promise and new beginnings."

Is that right?
Yes, if by "a whole lot of 'everything'" you mean decline and death.
Yes, in a lot of ways, life begins at 60.
No, with 40 years of your life invested in a marriage, it's fantasy to think you can start over.
No, 60 is old. Face it, and cling to the one person who's stood with you all these years.
  
pollcode.com free polls

41 comments:

save_the_rustbelt said...

I pushing 60 and life is just really exciting.

You are only old when your brain is old.

And I'm not dumping my wife.

mesquito said...

I LOL'd when the link took me to TNR. My, how the use to swoon over the ManBearPig.

Query: Would they be nearly as treacly over a Bush divorce?

pm317 said...

What the heck is this "investment" in a marriage? You try to make it work as long as you can and then let go if it doesn't, hopefully amicably. It is better than hoping for a merry widow or widower when it will be later than it should. People change, circumstances change, and they need to move on. Getting out of a substandard marriage can be liberating for both parties.

mesquito said...

Besides, isn't the average age at TNR something like 23?

Martha said...

Al and Tipper are clearly not as nice to each other as they are to their pets----but then pets do not stay around for 40 years.

Quayle said...

The greatest accomplishment of a human is to forge a trusting, nurturing relationship with another human.

Commitment engenders trust, and that is foundational.

Prior acts of bailing on relationships makes trusting that person harder (but that's not to say 'insurmountable').

I'm all about making things easier, not harder.

Further, if something bugs you about your current mate, and you just want to bail, the chances are high that pretty soon you'll be right back at that same point - something bugging you - with another mate.

'Cause it ain't the mate, mate.

Al didn't separate from or divorce the root problem, he took it with him in his character.

Pogo said...

Aging is much much better than it used to be, but it can be hard and it can be hell. Total crapshoot, based on genetic gifts and life's slings and arrows.

"ROBERTS: It really is—it's such a shock. It's so sad and it's really kind of disappointing, too."

It's curious, really, that some moderns still have an expectation for fidelity to a promise that they have been actively destroying for decades.

Why shocked? Why disappointed?
Why stay married?
Why get married? It interferes with the goal of endless self-gratification.

What is in that word, promise?
Air.

PatCA said...

The Clintons are still together because it's a career and political partnership as much as anything. The Gores always presented themselves as a love story. After 40 years, if that's gone or changed, as is inevitable, what's left?

If they were French, they would just quietly live separate lives without the vulgarity of middle-aged divorce.

Paul Zrimsek said...

Missing answer: "Yes, unless you're Rush Limbaugh."

edutcher said...

The Living Redwood and Tipper were probably happier than Willie and the Hildabeast, so it's sad that things ended for them.

It's not a question of age, it's a question of what did in the marriage. Michelle Cottle sounds like another of the "Don't Trust Anybody Over 30" crowd who's finally realized she's putting on the mileage herself and is trying to rationalize it.

My own guess is Albert's ego got out of control after the Nobel Prize, Oscar, etc., and went into freefall with the Climategate revelations and Tipper had more than she could handle. It's a shame since, media trumpeting the statistical anomaly notwithstanding, most first time marriages succeed. That theirs didn't is unfortunate and has nothing to do with age.

lemondog said...

The Living **giggle**Redwood **ha, ha, ha **snorfle**

TREEIST!

pm317 said...

PatCA, a superior intellect is far more sexy than the real sex, especially if both partners have it!!

ricpic said...

Providing their health is decent the happiness curve for most goes up post 50 and way up post 60.

lemondog said...

ps......any relation to The Living Redwood?

Redwood denies ending 29-year marriage with a telephone call

Rich B said...

Who really knew how they were getting along? I have been married to my first wife for 31 years, and some days I don't know how we are getting along.

Maybe Tipper thought AGW was bullshit.

chuck b. said...

"'Al and Tipper are clearly thinking not in terms of the years behind but the years ahead.'"

Because they're both Intuition people, not Sensation people. #MyersBriggs

William said...

We always think the future will be just like the present, only more so. And then it isn't. Despite their dry humping on the podium, the Gores seemed drawn together more by torpor rather than by passion. They looked to be the sort who took sustenance from each other's dullness and predictibility. But you can't depend on dullness to keep a marriage together. People develop interests and enthusiasms and sharpen their blunt edges.....The good news is that if the Gores can get divorced, the Limbaughs can find domestic bliss. The past is not preamble, but another country and sometimes another dimension.

chuck b. said...

She'll probably move to a coast. There's nothing for her in flyover country.

bagoh20 said...

They each have their own money, time, friends and individual interests to pursue with probably little remaining reason to stay married. Separating makes perfect sense to without any violations of their marriage needed to justify it.

They both benefited greatly from the marriage and just don't see much more in it for them. It's only unfortunate if one of them wants to stay together. Even then it's only half unfortunate. I think most people are happier after divorce so what's all this about?

God speed, Gores and may the snake oil winds be at your back.

bagoh20 said...

They each have their own money, time, friends and individual interests to pursue with probably little remaining reason to stay married. Separating makes perfect sense without any violations of their marriage needed to justify it.

They both benefited greatly from the marriage and just don't see much more in it for them. It's only unfortunate if one of them wants to stay together. Even then it's only half unfortunate. I think most people are happier after divorce so what's all this about?

God speed Gores and may the snake oil winds be at your back.

John Stodder said...

Here's what we can't know:

Was there always something wrong with the Gore's marriage, something unsatisfying, some basic area of incompatibility that both of them (or maybe just one of them) tried to suppress for the sake of what was good about the marriage, and after 40 years that something finally became intolerable? I could see that, especially in a couple that had been together since high school. Perhaps it took 10 years to emerge. It's been a frustration, a cross to bear, but bearable -- til now, with the approach of old age but when one still has a chance to find someone who doesn't do that whatever-it-is that has gotten under the skin.

Or:

Is it just vanity on the part of one or the other, but probably Al. He's moved up in the world, if that's imaginable, from the heights he achieved in the 90s. In the political world, yes, there's a high profile and power is an aphrodisiac, all that, but let's face it -- there are a LOT more attractive young women when you achieve the elite levels of both business and entertainment that Gore has since achieved with his global-warming alarums. His vast wealth, red-carpet regularity and high-level globetrotting make him a sexy beau ideal for a certain kind of woman, and he's now in a place where he meets a new woman like that every week. He could thinking, "How long do I have to be good? Do I have to be good? I've only got one life. I didn't expect to be in this commanding position, but here I am, I earned it myself, why should I deprive myself of the fruits of my labors?"

A guy like that, with such wealth, doesn't really worry about old age. He'll surely be able to find a hot woman to accompany him right up to death's door, if he wants. The cost of sundering of his marriage to a true companion won't be felt until very near the end. Death presses, but seems a long way off, so why not live those last couple of decades as a voluptuary?

MayBee said...

The kiss at the convention was a show of passion...for politics.
His wife was but a prop, and that was what made it so uncomfortable.
There is no convincing me that all has been well in the Gore marriage for a good long while.

Synova said...

We're missing the options of "They are rich enough to live separate lives without divorce." and "They are rich enough to get divorced without plunging either of them into poverty."

Incidentally... if they split up their wealth and property and become single for tax purposes... do they lose or do they gain? What difference is there going to be for whatever their children inherit? Could this be estate planning?

Because if they just don't like each other any more they can easily "split" without a divorce at all.

Ann Althouse said...

"My own guess is Albert's ego got out of control after the Nobel Prize, Oscar, etc., and went into freefall with the Climategate revelations and Tipper had more than she could handle."

Probably really hurt when Obama won a Nobel too.

"Maybe Tipper thought AGW was bullshit."

She may even think that he doesn't really believe what he's saying, that he's exploiting people for money, for example.

Ken Pidcock said...

Althouse implies that anyone who would take the action the Gores have taken is either in denial or hopelessly naïve. I found the poll rather insulting.

Oso Negro said...

Feh. Some green Ms. Sweetie will appear soon enough. No other real possibility after all those years.

kent said...

Ace's commentary on this remains unsurpassed:

Al Gore can now marry longtime paramour Gaia.

vnjagvet said...

If it is John Stoddard's second option, Al will deserve everything he gets. Hotties aren't always good companions, and there is nothing to indicate his judgment has improved in 40 years.

Drew W said...

I think she's leaving him. Why? The greening of Al Gore’s teeth.

The last bunch of times I’ve seen Gore on news video, his teeth look incredibly gross. Like homeless person gross. Meth-head gross. Seriously. I’ve been trying to find a decent shot of his furry teeth, but in most of the photos I’ve found he has his mouth closed, and the toothy ones are at least three or four years old. This one comes closest to showing the kind of dental horror show that drove Tipper away.

traditionalguy said...

I have little actual knowledge of Gore's family history, but I believe that his father was an old time southern politician like the Talmadge family was in Georgia. In those days of farmers and mules and votes counted 3 to 1 in favor of the farmers over the City districts, there was an easy way to win by using guilt as a weapon. The city was guilty, the blacks were guilty, the soft toed shoe boys were guilty...etc. AlGore had that whine, superior sing song down pat that made a listener feel guilty of ten different things listening to just one sentence. So I suspect Tipper just needed never to have to hear his voice again.

Trooper York said...

I think he just heard Helen Thomas was available.

You see Martin Borman just passed away last month.

ricpic said...

Wow, John Stodder's post was a romance novel compressed into three paragraphs.

Rialby said...

She'll live for another 25 years and will probably never get remarried.

He'll prance around with his new 30-year old girlfriend and will be remarried within 5 years and dead within 15.

amba said...

et's face it -- there are a LOT more attractive young women when you achieve the elite levels of both business and entertainment that Gore has since achieved with his global-warming alarums. His vast wealth, red-carpet regularity and high-level globetrotting make him a sexy beau ideal for a certain kind of woman

That's what I immediately thought -- that after a decent interval we'll see what shows up on Al's arm. Many people have told me it isn't necessarily that. Uh-huh.

But your other theory is good too, John Stodder. I think you've about got it covered.

AST said...

Sorry, I couldn't vote. I can't imagine poor Tipper being stuck with that whale any longer.

amba said...

And Rialby has the rest of it covered.

I correspond with an e-mail list of caregivers for spouses who, like mine, have Lewy body dementia -- a long, slow decline. Most (not all) of them are women, many with much older husbands (like mine), and most of those are vociferous in their wish never to marry again if they survive. They figure most old men who are interested in old women are looking for a caregiver -- whether they know it or not -- and it's been there, done that.

That said, admittedly people in their 70s, 80s, and 90s do sometimes fall in love. So maybe Tipper will find happiness long after Al rests in Gaia's embrace.

PatCA said...

"She may even think that he doesn't really believe what he's saying, that he's exploiting people for money, for example."

That's what I think. And then makes $100M off it, just as a start.

kent said...

Al Gore's secret lover... REVEALED!

HDHouse said...

Well this doesn't seem like a "faith and values - James Dobson" moment does it?

Kirstin said...

Just how many years are ahead, in Al Gore's opinion? I believe he claims that the planet doesn't have many years left.

kent said...

@Kent Thanks! I remember that Rolling Stone cover. Will use that.

YAY! I contribute! ;)