March 8, 2010

Caulk.

Caulk.

90 comments:

magpie said...

Yikes.

traditionalguy said...

And they say that Boomers are self centered and dumb. Dumb is a genetic reality until some one teaches people the basics in home and church environments. Government schools clearly are useless.

ironrailsironweights said...

At least they weren't undergoing hair removal.

Peter

Darleen said...

Cault was never recommended for that sort of crack.

john said...

These people should have spent a worthwhile Saturday morning at Lowes or Home Depot for a comprehensive caulking seminar.

Scott said...

First it was coathanger abortions. Now this.

I think every woman in America should have access to safe, legal butt enhancement, and not have to desperately seek out back-alley practitioners with dirty caulk guns.

knox said...

Junk in the trunk indeed.

Baron Zemo said...

My dear lady I am so glad that you do not approve.

I grew fearful due to your purchase of cottage cheese in a previous post.

Ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha!

exhelodrvr1 said...

Does caulk need to be approved by the FDA before use? Is there such a thing as a caulk license?

Palladian said...

DAD HALL: Duane and I went out to the boat basin.

DUANE: We were caulkin' holes all day.

Lem said...

A black-market butt-enhancement "practitioner" is injecting New Jersey backsides with household caulk and other hazardous materials, according to New Jersey health officials who have alerted New York authorities to the rear and present danger.

Go ahead and have all the laughter you want..

Speaking for a big bottom connoisseur as I'm, I'm glad the state is stepping in to stamp out this kind of bottomless pitfall that Interstate costumers such as myself find themselves in.

It about time we know weather we have reached the bottom for real..

Lem said...

Six Newark-area women in the last two months have been hospitalized with infections caused by injections of "a variety of unknown materials," said New Jersey Health Department epidemiologist Dr. Tina Tan.

IMHO this is not an epidemic..

There are eight known musical bars.. thank God.

David said...

Dr. Tina Tan?

This is a hoax, right?

Lem said...

Officials said they believe the injected mixture includes silicone, petroleum jelly and hardware-grade caulk.

Their hart was set for MIT, but when their stimulus fell thru, the harsh economy opened their eyes towards a local community college.

TMink said...

Balk at caulk.

Walk away from the caulk.

Don't talk to me about putty.

Trey

Lem said...

After botched efforts to plump their rear ends like naturally well-endowed celebs such as Kim Kardashian, the victim's derrieres resembled "moonscapes" filled with lumps and craters, said a hospital source.

Never fall for a booty "celebrity" that's supposedly dating another celebrity named Bush..

what do these people think we are?

Hello Bush - big booty Kardashian?

Why don't you bring back JLO and Heditit while you are at it.

t-man said...

He was also filling in wrinkles with grout.

Methadras said...

Yes, but was it Silicon II? Bath or Kitchen? Mold and Mildew resistant? That should have some level of value? No?

Methadras said...

How did the doctor smooth it out? Putty knife?

Methadras said...

Will there now be illegal caulking legislation? Will I have to go to Home Depot/Lowes to ask for the caulking behind a cage like I have to do for spray paint?

edutcher said...

A bustle would have had the same effect without the inconvenience.

Lem said...

According to hospital sources, the six women were all from the Dominican Republic. The injection "treatments" occurred in hotels around the Newark area, the hospital source said.

By God I was born Dominican and the story sounds plausible.. ;)

Penny said...

According to the NY Post, New York authorities were notified of the "REAR and present danger".

Penny said...

Now if only the same six women who went to a hotel room for their butt lift would go to another hotel room for their medical care.

Lem said...

That would not be sexy Penny.

exhelodrvr1 said...

Penny,
I think that was "rear end present danger"

Lem said...

We have a sexy president

Lem said...

I think these women should be pointed out by our president as a sign of waht people are willing to go to find jobs under his leadership.

An Obama point of light~

exhelodrvr1 said...

I understand that Caulkers Without Borders is en route. Under Obama's plan, everyone will have to pay for caulk, even if they don't plan to use it. There won't be an option to merely have catastrophic caulk coverage. The good thing is that employers won't have to worry about covering caulk just to get good workers.

Lem said...

OMG.. what if my future wife in the hospital right now, while I sit here making jokes.

Dios mio perdoname porque me gustan las mujeres.. aunque tu le qites el culo ;)

Lem said...

If I show my father this "article" he would make any "material" I have sown forthwith as the mere doddering of a boy scout.

For a church minister my father can spin a yarn better than anybody I had the good fortune of listening live.

traditionalguy said...

Too bad hat these poor ladies did not try Homeopathic Remedies first. That placebo effect might have worked out and they could sit down today with out pain.

Lem said...

My idea is to send it to my sister and ask her - waht do you think dad would do with this?

I'm not doing well with dad these days... the not working thing.

He just has to ask everytime.. Its just inevitable.. I feel like I'm letting him down all over again

Lem said...

Too bad hat these poor ladies did not try Homeopathic Remedies first.

Trad if this Romeo illusion you suggest were somehow possible I assure the game of professional baseball not only would it not look different it would also be poorer.

I can only assure you Dominican men would not miss it.. would not be riding the tires of airplanes to play it.. they would not be unemployed wondering waht to do next.. like me.

Christy said...

Will national health care cover caulk removal? I have some spots around the tub that need redone.

Lem said...

In that last post I was trying to translate a Dominican poet speaking about the quintessential Dominican male and female.

How inexorably together we are.

Lem said...

The things that these women did they did it for the benefit of men...

Can anybody here dispute that?

Or are you going to tell me that when they were were little and somebody asked them they said I cant wait to...

go ahead, tell us how bad women are!

Lem said...

You know.. when Althouse was talking about what's done with the females skating costumes around the breast area.. I chose to make a joke about it... same thing here.

I bet you these women did what they did because they know its a quick way to some kind of success.

The women that patronised Tiger.. why did they do it?

We.. men bear a lot of that responsibility by creating that reality.

Lem said...

If we did not consume so much fucking porn... is it possible there would be so much of it?

I don't think so!

I've never seen a PSA against porn.

I mean.. don't tell me they got a lobby!!

Lem said...

Looking at myself in the mirror

I'm in my own way responsible (a little) for this..

God knows the human female of the species needs not add nor detract from themselves as they appear to us as anything but angels immortals.

Lem said...

By playing with them as puppets in porn we diminish them, we diminish us.. We diminish ourselves.

Penny said...

exhelodrvr1 said...

Penny,
I think that was "rear end present danger"

Actually, no, it was "rear and present danger", but now I am thinking the NY Post should hire YOU, exhel. lol

Lem said...

I don't have time to write about the time my father discovered my porn stash.. suffice it to say I swore I never get caught again.

What I'm going to do is play the soundtrack for the movie "The Last American Virgin (1982)

the movie (against all outwards aperances at the time) made a big impression on me ;)

Lem said...

Hey Penny keep me company while I play some music?

Penny said...

Lem, sorry you haven't found a job yet. Stiff upper lip, buddy. Most of us have been there at least once, so we can empathize.

Not sure if I suggested this before, but why not try to get some gigs as a DJ? You do such a nice job for all of us here at Althouse. We thank you!

Lem said...

De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da

I started w/o you Penny ;)

Lem said...

You asked about me Penny on Friday afternoon..

to tell you the truth i rather not know people are listening.. i don't know how to explain.. its better if i imagine people listening.

Lem said...

That's the Way I Like It

Lem said...

Love Action (I Believe In Love)

Lem said...

Oh No.

Lem said...

I Know What Boys Like

Lem said...

In The Flesh

Lem said...

Open Arms

Lem said...

Since You're Gone

Lem said...

Are You Ready For The Sex Girls

Lem said...

Better Luck Next Time

Lem said...

Keep on Loving You..

the album is better..

Lem said...

Shake it up

Methadras said...

Lem said...

By God I was born Dominican and the story sounds plausible.. ;)


Awesome cigars, yo!!!

Methadras said...

Lem, you forgot the most important one: Sir Mix-a-Lot, I like big butts.

Lem said...

Besame Mucho..

its not the version from the last american virgin..

but as seeing that she is no longer a virgin.. I dont think she mind ;)

Lem said...

Lem, you forgot the most important one: Sir Mix-a-Lot, I like big butts.

I'm doing the soundtrack from The Last American Virgin (1982)

Sir Mix-a-Lot was not in that mix..

Lem said...

Granada..

again this version is more better ;)

Lem said...

Whip It

Penny said...

Lem, sorry. It's bedtime here. Don't stay up too late now. Night night...

Lem said...

Just Once..

Quincy Jones arreglista.

Lem said...

Lem, sorry. It's bedtime here. Don't stay up too late now. Night night...

Thanks Penny.. you r a good pal.

Lem said...

It Ain't Easy Comin' Down

Lem said...

Airwaves

Lem said...

Zero Hour.

this is a fabulosa graet multibuonlovckeo song!

Lem said...

Oh shit.

I Will Follow

U2 was on the last American foking virgin!

Awesome.

Lem said...

look Bonno no glasses.
look Bonno no glasses.
look Bonno no glasses.

call the UN I have a tail..

Lem said...

there were about tree other songs that fortunately or un as however you may see fit.. the internet in its worrisome lazy (because everybody can) wisdom does not have.. I was not able to play for you... :P

seriously, my ipod kicks you tube ass any day.

Lem said...

Not that I tuns hasn't left me wanting either btw..

everybody offering something lacks the else later you think of when you dont need it you think off.

i was thinking about that when i ordered pizza on line..

o how they made choose this and choose that and i wondered.

by the time it got home i had one slice and put the rest in the fridge right where it staid.

Lem said...

there is an art to living eating sleeping waking drinking and everything else.

i'll give you an example. I went i got my new glasses with the same people i have been getting from for decades.

i dont know waht happened but the service that used to cost me somewhere over 500 dollars was just over 300 .. 308.00 to be exact.

the exam the frames the new fisical lens that lets me appreciate what is near and dear.. the doctor that checked me out (i'm near sighted)

I had never payed so little for the same..

I'm very happy about this.. (i allready thanked God so therw)

Lem said...

w/o insurance - out of my pocket i ended up paying less than i ever have and if you saw me coming out of that place you thought i was a happy happy man.

they are also very nice i think.

Lem said...

they know my eyes.. they have them on record.

its just there are these people that my eyes going back to the late 80s.

somehow, call me crazy, i don't think i would be all fuzzy about the post office handling my eyes.

i just dont!

Lem said...

if Obama prevails, i dont think it would be for long b4 people would just either refuse the compulsory bit or the thing would get so fouled up they would have no remedy but to withdraw..

that's my hope at the very least.

We can always imagine worser case scenarios.

Lem said...

Must it be the right that waves aside a sleeping left?.. mustering the wherewithal to refuse a compulsory government?

a dictatorial government?

sadly, it seems we always have to wait until the shit gets dictatorial for people to get moving.

Vietnam went way way back b4 all of a sudden everybody and they mother somehow somewhere discovered there was a piece of land called vietnam.

when Obama care takes effect people are not going to want to go to the doctor.. not because they are afraid .. they are not going to want to go for a lack of trust..

I dont want to contemplate that.

Lem said...

If I have anything going for me with the doctors that checked my eyes and tell me this is waht you need is that I trust them.

the fucking mailmen comes to my house everyday except on sundays and I wait until he puts the mail in the shit where it goes because we dont know each other we are complete strangers towards one another.

anyway i thing i'm repeating myself.

the idea of a government run health care should give anybody in their right minds a convulsion the size of the big storm in Jupiter.

Lem said...

According to government rules (anti discrimination) there is no reason why the gynecological exam for your teenage daughter should not be administered be the readily available male doctor on the ground.. if not there should be a case of discrimination..

I'm not even a lawyer and i'm efing thinking like one.

(sorry about the f bombs b4 profe)

i promise to steer clear.. the hurt locker ;)

Lem said...

I have to see that.. Jesus talk about an F U.

they gave the ex wife of the creator of biggest blockbuster in history (1 & 2) both best director and best picture.

I've heard about grudges but that must be the biggest please don't come to my party, my funeral, dis-invitation ever.

If I was Cameron and dignity was something i wanted to get a shred back (because lets face it its not on the shelves) i would never go to one of those ever again.

Lem said...

I bet you they nominates his ass again the a**hole will be in the front row... again.

Lem said...

my right leg is telling me i've ranted enough.

hopefully its not as painful to those unfortunate to read it or come close to reading it ..

I think the best thing is nobody reads waht i have written.

Joaquin said...

WOW!
This caulk thing really got under Lem's skin.

Opus One Media said...

well thank the lord that the bush "the science isn't yet complete" days and their aftermath may soon end.

AprilApple said...

I want tax payer funded trillion dollar butt enhancement insurance. Even if it would save one life!

Paul Zrimsek said...

I hope there are doctors standing by to give them caulk succor.

kentuckyliz said...

Caulk succor! LOL! I had to audiate that to get it.

Well, spank my double-wide.

I'll volunteer to transfuse my lipids to their posterior. :-D

kentuckyliz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.