October 10, 2009

You can't arrest me. I'm naked!

The news from Sheboygan:
The criminal complaint alleges [Julia E. Laack, 36] stole a bag of beef jerky and a lighter at a convenience store Thursday afternoon. Police went to her home. The complaint said she refused to come to the door and began screaming and swearing at three children in her house, telling one that the incident was all his fault.
Police entered and tried to calm her down. With her children present, the complaint said, she stripped to her underwear and told the officers they couldn't arrest her because she would be naked.
Laack struggled with the officers as they tried to arrest her, the complaint alleged, kicking one in the groin and spitting in the mouth of another.

While in the squad car on the way to the police station, the complaint said, Laack exposed her buttocks against the rear window.

40 comments:

reader_iam said...

OK, I won't resist the obvious:

L-a-a-c-ks good judgment, doesn't she? Aack!!!

Synova said...

Darn good thing they didn't Taze her or Cook would be complaining of a police state. ;-)

(Okay, sorry... way too early on a Sunday to be snarky.)

Maguro said...

Wow, all that on a BAC of only .112? You'd think a gal from Wisconsin could hold her liquor better than that.

Bissage said...

Ms. Laack must be fairly good-looking because stripping naked has always worked for me.

reader_iam said...

If I ever do something that gets me arrested, I'm going to make sure it somehow lends itself to parody of one of my names.

MadisonMan said...

Let me guess: She opposes a hike in the beer tax too.

traditionalguy said...

Oh no, for a minute I thought we had another Andrew Sullivan post about Commenters Gone Wild at Althouse.

reader_iam said...

Given the options, it'd have to be sufficiently bizarre such that it'd be *great* blog fodder. Althouse, take note! (I'll have DH alert you right after he gets off the phone with a lawyer.)

Congratulations to President-Elect McCain!!! said...

Who was this? Palin? Those Wasilla jokesters!!!

Slow Joe said...

I think she's acting like a Clinton more than a Palin.

either way... awwwwww yeah... this is the beginning of a hot porno.

peter hoh said...

I suspect that she just got back from a workshop that taught her how to move beyond self-imposed and conditioned borders.

kentuckyliz said...

Those lucky children.

EDH said...

Sounds like she tried to invoke the legal defense of sloven immunity.

AJ Lynch said...

Bissage blogs naked. Mrs. Bissage says that should be a crime.

Darcy said...

Whoa. Julia. You crazy.

Darcy said...

Anybody read Janet Evanovich? Reminds me of Stephanie Plum arresting the naked, greased up guy. Hilarious.

Methadras said...

This entire incident must be some prelude to foreplay. No the cops are playing ro sham boe with her.

Penny said...

The thought of her spitting in the officer's mouth was making me feel ill, unless, of course, she was just trying to kiss him?

Methadras said...

Synova said...

Darn good thing they didn't Taze her or Cook would be complaining of a police state. ;-)

(Okay, sorry... way too early on a Sunday to be snarky.)


Synova, it's Saturday. I think. :D Also, the words, "Don't taze me bro, I'm naked" are ringing in my head.

Mr. Forward said...

Sheboygan brats are the wurst.

reader_iam said...

OK, Mr. Forward, I had no choice but to tweet your 1:49 comment. Don't worry--I properly attributed it (and--yes, yes, Althouse--linked the source).

Larry J said...

You can't arrest me. I'm naked!

I'll have Erroneous Assumptions for $1000, Alex.

Tibore said...

And folks wonder why cops are so cynical about civillians. If this would be all you ever saw on your job, wouldn't you be jaded about people too?

Chip Ahoy said...

Goddamnit. Is it Sunday already?

* checks *

Whew. For a minute there thought I lost a day. Again.

Chip Ahoy said...

A friend of mine was arrested in Hawaii and dragged out of his hotel room stark naked. It's an incredibly funny story and I ask him to tell it whenever we're together and around new people. At the time he was traveling with a felon on stolen bank money but he didn't know anything about that. The felon was gay and my friend wasn't yet twenty. I split my sides laughing whenever I can get him to recount the details. The part that gets me is he was left high and dry on an island with only his ... er ... natural resources.

Penny said...

But Tibore, the stories they share at beer summits would keep everyone laughing.

Don said...

One of your 1L's?

Ignorance is Bliss said...

This story would have made a great ad from the Wisconsin Tourism Federation, if they had had the sense not to change their name.

Tibore said...

Penny said...
But Tibore, the stories they share at beer summits would keep everyone laughing."


Good point.

ironrailsironweights said...

This thread is useless without pictures.

Peter

Clyde said...

Keep it classy, Julia.

And for God's sake, don't tell us where you hid the Slim Jims!

William said...

This is a variation of the Polanski defense: "You can't arrest me. I'm a director."

Lonetown said...

As the old song goes:

Mention my name in Sheboygan
and if you ever get in a jam
mention my name,
I said mention my name
but please dont tell them where I am!

kimsch said...

Was she cuffed and belted in in the back seat? If she was how on earth was she able to moon out the back window?

wv: norneera

former law student said...

You can't be a shrinking violet and raise three kids in Wisconsin I guess. But the last thing you need when you don't have enough cash for a lighter and some jerky is the cops coming to the door.

Couldn't the store have put it on her tab?

Synova said...

"Synova, it's Saturday."

Oh dear. WAY to early on Sunday to be snarky. lol.

MadisonMan said...

I'm curious.

If you don't open the door for something like this, can the police break in? After all, she's not guilty of anything (yet).

I wonder what would have happened if she'd gone home and told the kids to go to sleep and turned off all the lights.

kimsch: People in Wisconsin are nothing if not flexible.

Aridog said...

Sounds like the results of a circa 1960's "Beer Supper" on Langdon Street. Or the fall 1961 "bullfighting passing cars with your blouse" fandango on State Street.

Leland said...

This thread is useless without pictures.

We can't have a useless thread... Here you go.

former law student said...

We can't have a useless thread... Here you go.

That woman looks like she has enough troubles already.

Googling says she applied to the city of Sheboygan for a Taxi Driver License, which they declined because her drivers license was scheduled to be taken away because of an OWI (cheesehead for DUI). Plus she was scheduled for a Section 51 committment, which indicates she wasn't wrapped too tight which we already kinda knew.

The father of her children violated the Nelson Algren rule never to sleep with anyone with troubles worse than your own.