August 26, 2009

Justice Souter has kept a lifelong diary, and he's donated it to the New Hampshire Historical Society.

We'll be able to read it... in 50 years.

I don't know if I can live that long. I'm going to try. In the meantime, please imagine some Souter diary items.

30 comments:

ddh said...

"Had breakfast. Went to the Post Office to pick up the mail--just an LL Bean catalogue. Don't think I'll be buying anything this year. Returned home to garden, lunch. Carpe diem."

Diamondhead said...

"Last night with myself was bliss. I fear my orgasm has left me a cripple. Still love the cabin."

EDH said...

Why do I get the feeling that some of the pages might be stuck together?

Dusty Fog said...

Had breakfast. Went to the Post Office to pick up the mail--just an LL Bean catalogue. Don't think I'll be buying anything this year.
Went to work. Shredded the constitution. Destroyed private property while pretending to be for the little guy. Generally acted like a worthless liberal douche. Returned home to garden, lunch. Carpe diem."

Jeremy said...

From November 3, 2004:
"Can't believe I have to wait four more years to get out of this hell hole. WTF!"

-The Other Jeremy

former law student said...

December 25, 2003. Indian pudding never as good as Mom's. Pair slippers from Mrs. O'Connor; tie from Mrs. Ginsburg. Watched tape of Grinch again.

rcocean said...

Souter Diary (leaked extracts)

July 25, 1990

Before the nomination announcement, talked to Bush who seemed rather bored and looked at his watch a lot. Told him I was a conservative - he seemed to buy it - sucker!

July 27, 1990

Went with Rudman and talked to the Republican Senators - everybody bought the act - told them Sununu would vouch for me & I was still looking for the right girl. Warren and I had a big laugh afterwords. I can't believe how easy it is.

July 28, 1990

A few right-wingers like Buchanan are expressing reservations. Good thing I have NR, Buckley, Kemp, and Bennett to beat them down. I'm now a "conservative homerun" - suckers!

October 25, 1990

Got confirmed - I never would have believed how stupid the right-wingers are. Just a few words from the POTUS and they all fall in line - suckers!

d-day said...

Dear Diary,

Omigod! I'm in the SCOTUS now! Take that, Sunnunu - teehee. It's so NICE to finally be recognized for being SMART. Like, Harvard smart. That whole committee thing was totally humiliating - I mean, they had my resume, right? Not conservative enough - as if! But now I'm a SUPREME! Just like Tony! Omigod, Diary, do NOT tell anyone that. That little crush was SO OVER after law school, but who knows? Maybe I'll have something good to tell you on that front soon!!!!

Best day EVER!

XOXOXOXO,
Davey


- - - - - -

Dear Diary,
Tony is as ASS. I am NOT sitting next to him in the lunchroom anymore. I mean, like, who would want to anyway, right? I'll show him. . .

Dave

weffiewonj said...

First Monday in October
AM: Prepped for annual intellectual lobotomy
PM: Gnu yam pump. Strock hormp!

d-day said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Seven Machos said...

"Today, I wrote a boring and basically vacuous opinion that will not stand out in any way or even make much sense to anyone. I hate Washington. I know I'm not very good at my job. I am still shocked that Bush nominated me. I can't wait until a Democrat is elected so that I can retire."

d-day said...

Lol! This blog is the #1 google result for "souter notorious."

Matthew Yglesias's blog is the #1 hit for "souter omigod."

"Justice Souter party time" links to a Politico story about his retirement.

The next obvious google search was "did justice souter ever have any fun in his life?" That linked to a NYT "defense" that includes the following paragraph (comparing Souter and Limbaugh):

Who’s the bigger man: the prescription-drug abuser with the cigar stuffed in his mouth, or the buff older gentleman puffing his way up one of the more strenuous climbs in New England?

I can just see Souter in a hat, chipper grin, upright posture and a walking stick, in neatly pressed shorts. I'd guess Rush is still technically the bigger man, even post-diet.


And finally, the results of "souter crazy" ask "Did you mean super crazy?" Apparently, I did not.

Cedarford said...

Althouse - We'll be able to read it... in 50 years.

I don't know if I can live that long. I'm going to try. In the meantime, please imagine some Souter diary items.


Move forward to 2059...

As a minor occasion, Chinese officials of the Guanduxtao portion of Former New Hampshire, that they bought as partial collection on the debts they were owed by the Former United States, welcomed the oldest living American lawyer, a Ms Althouse to the former New Hampshire Historical society.
Ms Althouse is pushing 110, and in a Chinese gesture of great respect and deference to her age, Ms. Athouse was given a gift copy of the Souter diary, as well as tea and sweet beancake dumplings.

Althouse, already somewhat of a minor celebrity in China for her photos of an America before Ruling Elites caused foreclosure of the West Coast, Hawaii, Alaska, and the controversial choice of Maine and NH to debt collectors (Chinese said NYC was ruined) was most complimentary about the beancakes. Holding up the Souter diary, she said it was something she had waited 50 years to read, but confessed "God knows why", after skimming a few pages of the bland man's bland prose.

Kirby Olson said...

We all try to live another fifty years, and the diary turns out ... blank.

Imagine the comments box.

Brent said...

"Assigned to write the Kelo decision.

WOoder if this can ever come back and bite me?"

David said...

Actually, good for him. It's the opinions that count. Why should he make his private life available to anyone if he does not want to? Also if he has some racy secrets to tell, he's showing some class to keep them out of public view until anyone else involved in his life is long dead. Some future academic will get tenure somewhere based in part on this diary. Make them wait, I say.

wv=reerang
I called and called and called and you did not answer.

Greg Hlatky said...

"July 25, 1994

Came across a book today at a second-hand store entitled 'The Constitution of the United States.' Flipping through it, however, I didn't see in it anything of relevance to my job."

RLB_IV said...

Hmmm...sweet bean dumplings. We buy these at Ranch 99 quite often along with sweet Chinese sausages.

Cederford, are we talking about the elites that secretly control world finances and believe that the USA has to be destroyed as a prelude to the one world government? If this is the case, I assume that you silently glide among them so you know what they plan to implement on the world stage. You must have attended the festivities at Bohemian Grove. If so you know how beautiful NoCal effects the soul especially the occult practices before the fire of destiny.

Kirby, blank pages.. what a hoot. Maybe there are entries of what I had for lunch.

MadisonMan said...

I'll be 98 in 50 years. I think it would be interesting to read then.

Methadras said...

Dear Diary,

You know, sometimes Scalia can be such a dick. WHY? I mean it's not like I do anything to him. We pass each other in the hall, nod our heads and move about our business, but sometimes I'll be in front of the vending machine and the bastard will sneak up behind me and give me an atomic wedgy. What the hell?!?

I can't wait to get back to New Hampshire where I can read my books, cozy up to the fireplace with an awesome cup of hot cocoa, and sit there blissfully making people wonder if I'm ever coming back out again.

Methadras said...

RLB_IV said...

Hmmm...sweet bean dumplings. We buy these at Ranch 99 quite often along with sweet Chinese sausages.


There is a ranch 99 market in San Diego right off of Clairmont and Ruffner near the 805. Is that the one you are talking about?

RLB_IV said...

Is that the one you are talking about?

Yes Sir, that is the one.

chuck b. said...

Isn't he older than 50 years old? Why not publish the 50-yr-old parts of the diary day-by-day? The blog that time forgot, or something.

paul a'barge said...

Dear Diary,
Can't seem to keep my hands out of my pants today.

I hope no one notices my frantic actions going on under my black robes.

Methadras said...

RLB_IV said...

Is that the one you are talking about?

Yes Sir, that is the one.


Nice. Another San Diegan. Love Ranch 99. Get lunch there from time to time when I'm back in town.

MayBee said...

Sept 25, 1991

Went to bar, wore best sweater vest.
Tried "pubic hair on coke can" line on woman seated next to me. She moved away, and I was grateful.
I hope Thomas is confirmed and we become fast friends, so he can explain Long John Silver line to me. Mother didn't let me watch porn.


wv:senis

James Wigderson said...

Why do I suspect the Souter diary will be more painful than Vogon poetry?

You realize that when they release the diary in 50 years, some law professor will list it as required reading. At that point, the campus suicide rate will skyrocket.

Ralph L said...

It's Long Dong Silver. The other is a restaurant.

Will anyone care about Souter in 50 years? Can any non-law professor name a Justice from 50 years ago, besides Warren?

John Lynch said...

care.exe not found. The file may be missing or corrupt.

Jim O said...

There was once a Jewish seat on the Supreme court. There now appears to be Black seat. According to some, his memoirs will give support to the hypothesis that Sotomayor now holds a seat on the Supreme Court for a minority that is not racial, ethnic or religious.