July 30, 2009

"Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative."

Melanie Gideon, in "The Slippery Year."

27 comments:

Kate Gosselin said...

Other things that change passion: squeezing 8 fetuses out of your cooter in 2 groups.

Tibore said...

"Suddenly you're in bed with a relative."

... Which is why I refuse to date anyone even remotely like my mother. Last thing I need to accidentally develop is an Oedipal complex. :D

Tibore said...

"“It’s really a book about nothing,” said Ms. Gideon, 45, in a telephone interview last week...

Seinfeld... NYTimes... what is it with New Yorkers and this whole "all about nothing" kick? ;)

The Crack Emcee said...

Yea, but if you ever wanted to fuck your sister,...

The Macho Response.

TRO said...

Cue the redneck/hillbilly/southern jokes.

Tibore said...

"The Crack Emcee said...
Yea, but if you ever wanted to fuck your sister,..."


The scary part is, I met someone in college who actually said to me "My sister is hot. If we weren't related..."

I shuddered.

Fred4Pres said...

Well I think it is more time changes the relationship. Marriage alone is not the issue.

As for the author, yes you will one day die. Get over it.

rhhardin said...

My God, the article goes on to page two.

I favor noticing the ordinary, but not if it's paid by the word.

Scott M said...

I consider myself a pretty well-adjusted, self-sufficient adult male and, for the most part, I think my actions bear that out.

However, for the first time in our ten years of marriage, my wife has taken our kids with her for a week at her sister's place in Salt Lake, leaving me to my own devices for a whole week.

The first couple of days were great. Now, honestly, it sucks.

As to the topic of the post, passion gets replaced gradually by warm fuzziness and a sense of being complete when the other is nearby.

Scott M said...

That last sentence in the second paragraph above is a perfect example of what happens when you get a phone call halfway through a thought.

lol...

Juris Dentist said...

Missing label: Larry is forewarned.

Ann Althouse said...

Who's Larry?

traditionalguy said...

When passion is based upon the "Forbidded Fruit" angle, then one may have a need to be unfaithful to generate excitement. But marriage doesnot end all other relationships with the opposite sex, it only steers them into safe channels so that our ships are not sunk or raided by pirates. So we do have to chose Safe People or Pirates in our lives. IMO safe people sex (marriage) is MORE fulfilling more often. And yes, I have tried out both. Incidentally, cousins are often attractive, and are not illegal/immoral although we still think that way. Bottom line is that marriage lets you say no to the 1000 other attractive people you might pursue in a lifetime.

save_the_rustbelt said...

My boomer generation invented the self-centered bore.

Apparently Generations X are Y are continuing and expanding the tradition.

I am so happy I married a grown up woman 35 years ago.

Bissage said...

I find myself curious to know Ms. Gideon’s shoe size.

Elliott A said...

Actually, your spouse is not a relative, just an in-law.

LarsPorsena said...

@trad:
"..Incidentally, cousins are often attractive, and are not illegal/immoral although we still think that way. ..."

Look at Arab society and the prevalence of marriage to cousins and then get back to me.

traditionalguy said...

Lars...You are correct about disadvantages when cousins marry. My point is that a soul-mate type of attraction (which cousins often experience)is not the only thing to consider before or after the marriage safty zone is created. Freedom gives the responsability to make decisions.

Art said...

ScottM:

That was beautifully said: simple, honest, heart-warming. Thank you.

Penny said...

"Bottom line is that marriage lets you say no to the 1000 other attractive people you might pursue in a lifetime."

I see that tg lusts in his heart.
A LOT! A 1000 others? My, my...

Perhaps the fine ladies in Georgia are indebted to your wife without even knowing it. ;)

Penny said...

You are a fine gentleman, tg. Sorry, I couldn't help pulling your manly leg.

Penny said...

"Seinfeld... NYTimes... what is it with New Yorkers and this whole "all about nothing" kick? ;)"

Something in your eye there, Tibore? lol

Actually, I think the more connected we become, particularly now with the internet, the more we learn that maybe we have something to share about our individual and collective "nothings".

And hey! That's something!

Methadras said...

Tibore said...

The scary part is, I met someone in college who actually said to me "My sister is hot. If we weren't related..."

I shuddered.


I know two people who for them that wasn't a problem.

traditionalguy said...

Penny... The math of 365 days for 40 years means living 14600 days. That's only one new attractive lady every two weeks which is doable. Not that one does them. Only that there is an initial attraction which does no one any harm. For example, you are attractive as you well know.

Penny said...

And tg, I admire your fourtitude. ;)

amba said...

Cultural differences: my husband (from German part of Romania) used to talk about feeling turned on by his older sister when he was about 11. Evidently noticing and admitting to such feelings was permissible and even considered routine in his world. On the other hand, the thought that you might ever have any sort of conversation about sex with your parents was horrifying.

On marriage, a Korean women told me we have no word for what they call "chung," which is the sort of deep grown-together attachment, both comfortable and powerful, that well-married people have for each other after years. Something to look forward to.

Penny said...
This comment has been removed by the author.