July 4, 2009

"Chubby celebrities are stoking the obesity crisis by proving it is possible to be fat and famous..."

Emergency. Crush them into oblivion!

21 comments:

Hunter McDaniel said...

I am more bothered by the celebrities who are proving it is possible to be tatooed and famous.

Not that either the fat or the tattooed ones should actually care what I think. This is America, after all.

Fred4Pres said...

Jack Black, you are a thought criminal and we are coming to get you.


Seth Rogen, you lost some weight, so we are not going to take your bong just yet. But you have to keep it off.

former law student said...

I liked the point the one commenter made: Did Oliver Hardy's screen success also promote obesity?

Two suggestions for becoming more active:

Leave your car at home.

Step away from the computer.

Edgehopper said...

Of course, the detail the article forgets to mention is that Dr. McMahon is a bariatric surgeon. Now, why would such a person want to demonize fat people, I wonder why...

Drew W said...

Migod! That article was so right!

Today, I’m tossing out all my records by Fats Domino, Chubby Checker, and Superchunk.

Good riddance to all of you!

[Can I still keep Mountain?]

john said...

Drew,

No you can't, and you also must get rid of your Meatloaf.

Beta Conservative said...

Opera fans are f**ked.

EDH said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
EDH said...

Beavis and Butthead on Grim Reaper's, See you in hell.

Beavis: Didn't these guys play at the state fair last year?

Butt-head: Yeah. They won a blue ribbon in the pig contest.

Beavis: Eh heh heh, yeah, heh heh. Because he's fat!

Butt-head: Stop in the name of all that which does not suck!

dbp said...

What are they supposed to do, put their careers on hold 'till they loose that final bit of weight and are finally worthy?

ironrailsironweights said...

All that really matters when it comes to obesity:

Fat women get lots of sex, fat men get very little.

Not what you'd expect, right?

Peter

Jennifer said...

Chicken and the egg, I tell you. Seems more likely that the "obesity crisis" is contributing to fat celebrities.

EDH said...

Ironrails,

You confuse having a higher number of partners with more sex.

In addition, the cross-sex discrepancy in average weight may be explained thusly:

Coyote Ugly
A situation encountered after a night of consuming alcohol whereby a person, usually male, wakes the next morning in a strange bed with a sexual partner from the previous evening who is completely physically undesirable (see ugly, nasty, two bagger) and sleeping on the man's arm. The hapless male would rather gnaw off his own arm than wake the woman and have to face the ills of his intoxicated choices the previous evening. Originating from a phenomena whereby a coyote captured in a jaw trap will chew off its own leg to escape certain death.

former law student said...

Fat women get lots of sex, fat men get very little.


Only if you believe the more sex partners you have, the more sex you have.

I suspect people with more than one sex partner in a year experience dry spells in between partners, while two people who love each other don't have to wait for chance to provide opportunities.

traditionalguy said...

Another reason to reject Sotomayor as a Fat Judge.

Freeman Hunt said...

Have to agree with FLS.

Bob_R said...

So that's my problem - I watch too many movies with Sydney Greenstreet. Well, to heck with 'em. Gonna watch Return of the Jedi tonight and rerun the part with Jaba the Hut six times.

Seven Machos said...

I would like to know the height and weight specs of the writers and editors involved in the piece.

John Lynch said...

Wait a minute. It seems like just yesterday that celebrities were criticized for being to thin.

Weren't they causing anorexia by promoting unrealistic body images or something?

Marcia said...

"Opera fans are f**ked."

I seriously read that as "Oprah fans" at first.

blake said...

Maybe the problem is a soul-crushing demand for conformity?