June 22, 2009

"Gastrosexuals."

Do we really need this word? When should sexuality be attributed to the performance of nonsexual tasks? Looking at the inane picture at that link will either help you answer the question or raise a whole new set of questions, like: Do anorexic, wine-swilling gamines really melt when dimpled dorks slice tomatoes?

36 comments:

ironrailsironweights said...

Do anorexic, wine-swilling gamines really melt when dimpled dorks slice tomatoes?

That's one of the best sentences I've read in a long time.

Peter

Salamandyr said...

Was coming in to say what Peter said. Bravo!

MadisonMan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MadisonMan said...

I think Gastrosexual calls Gas too easily to mind. So this word will have a deservedly short shelf life.

Donald Douglas said...

Damn, she really is anorexic!

(My dad could cook; he would've fattened that lady up with some ham hocks, rice, black-eyes peas and sweet-potato pie!)

sg said...

ironrailsironweights said...

Do anorexic, wine-swilling gamines really melt when dimpled dorks slice tomatoes?

That's one of the best sentences I've read in a long time.

Peter

=======

I was thinking the exact same thing!

AllenS said...

The woman in that picture needs a diet of meat, potatoes, and gravey. Also, get rid of that sissy wine, and have her drink beer.

Jennifer said...

Compare and contrast.

Do anorexic, wine-swilling gamines really melt when dimpled dorks slice tomatoes?



Things are hotting up in the kitchen as men pursue cooking as a way to attract women.

No contest. Good thing we've got these amateurish blogs to offset the fine journalistic excellence out there.

Fred4Pres said...

This was true back in cave man days, except that the guy just had to kill the mammoth. I am sure doing that ensured some appreciation from the cave ladies.

Cooking back then probably consisted of a fire and skewers of meat. Not too much different than Fourth of July now.

Bissage said...

Miss Kubelik did not melt for Mr. Nice Guy.

But that’s a good thing.

Pogo said...

In the thread on spelling below I lamented the decline of Britain.

More proof, as if it were needed.

Scott M said...

In the era of identity politics, which the left continuously denounce, but can't seem not to use ad nauseum (see 2008 Democratic Presidential Race), we can't do WITHOUT this term.

I cook, therefore I am.

JAL said...

Didn't it work for Meade?

JAL said...

Pogo said...
In the thread on spelling below I lamented the decline of Britain.

More proof, as if it were needed.


The nipple post wasn't up yet, I see.

nansealinks said...

Ann,

didn't you teach your boys to cook when they were young?

William said...

"God, I'm so famished I could eat a whole olive. Give me an outside cut of that cherry tomato. Maybe you know some way of helping me burn the calories off later?"

traditionalguy said...

In the frantic pace of life divided between computer time and TV and radio time and reading time...There's no time for shared experience of hanging out and working in the presence of a loved one. To be simultaneously fully present in the same activity requires time spent in the kitchen cooking and eating together while sipping wine followed later by the time spent together in the bedroom (with no TV or books allowed). The act of eating arouses appetites linked to other pleasurable appetites shared in a safe place. Why do Italians who eat home cooking so much also seem to have such a great interest in sex? We have many northern European types commenting here who need to learn from passionate mediterraneans, such as Latinos, traditional ways to enjoy living. Scriptures say that Jesus of Nazareth started his public career as the Son of God at a feast on a wedding night (he provided the abundant wine) and that when he returns, he will throw a wedding feast for his new bride on that Great Day and enjoy wine with his bride. Beer and Pizza Hut pizza is OK sometimes when watching important sports events on TV. But lovers who share and talk and work together over a meal, will then feel like some smooching time.

dbp said...

"Do anorexic, wine-swilling gamines really melt when dimpled dorks slice tomatoes?"

No. Probably not. In the fertile imagination of a man, I expect it happens all the time. Even if it doesn't work, a good meal is a consolation.

EDH said...

Do anorexic, wine-swilling gamines really melt when dimpled dorks slice tomatoes?


My first thought was "say that three-times fast!"

My first reaction to "gastrosexual" was to think of a gastropod.

The word gastropod comes from Greek and means "stomach foot," a name that owes its existence to the unusual anatomy of snails. Snails have a broad flat muscular "foot" used for support and for forward movement. This foot runs along the underside of the animalessentially along its belly.


So, for gastrosexual I was thinking something along the lines of "stomach-penis," or penetration at either end of the alimentary canal.

And I find out it's just cooking. Maybe I should just stick to nipples? Literally.

traditionalguy said...

Wow! do men's facination with erect nipples simply connect their earliest lust for nourishment with a hard tit ready for breast feeding compared with a plain soft breast? We need to ask Trooper to begin a scientific study on his blog. A pointed word or two from Hugh Hefner on the topic may contain wisdom derived from experience. A double blind study is unattainable here, since blind men can't see.

bagoh20 said...

When women say they want it all, they mean it.

fivewheels said...

In certain social circles, being able to cook really does go a long way. The last generation or two of women has grown up not learning the traditional "women's skills", and thus a man who demonstrates some is often seen as oddly impressive, even for simple kitchen achievements your mother would find embarrassingly basic.

Also, it signifies domesticity to marriage-minded young women. In my case my ability to cook and bake is a completely false signifier that I'm ready to settle down into home life. But it helps.

fivewheels said...

This also goes in the other direction with once gender-specific skills. For instance, in the first Transformers movie, young men seemed to be expected to think that Megan Fox was hot because she could fix a car. In addition to the obvious.

Pogo said...

"The last generation or two of women has grown up not learning the traditional "women's skills", and thus a man who demonstrates some is often seen as oddly impressive"

That explains why whenever I pick up socks or wash the dishes, women gaze longingly, swirl their glass of pinot grigio, and then quickly disrobe. Once after I stitched a hem, a few ladies puffed on cigarettes, oddly satsified.


In the room the women come and go
Talking about how I mop and sew.

Ann Althouse said...

"Ann, didn't you teach your boys to cook when they were young?"

As if I and not their father would be the one doing the teaching?

I think everyone should know how to cook a few things.

nansealinks said...

the father of my kids taught them to clear the table. they always did the dishes. He also taught them fried onions and green peppers to perfection.

division of humanual labor.

halojones-fan said...

Wow, and I thought that "crushing fetish" was weird...

*****

Actually, this does bring up something that I think American society doesn't quite want to admit--that eating food feels good. That's really why our society has such big problems, as it were, with obesity; it's because eating is a sensual activity, and Americans are notoriously reticient on matters of sensuality. We Just Don't Talk About That Kind Of Thing, which makes it much harder for us to deal with the problem.

Pogo said...

"I think everyone should know how to cook a few things."

My children know they must always remove the cardboard before placement on the center oven rack.

nansealinks said...

we may have fallen apart as a family after the kids reached college, ann, but while they were growing up there was a division of labor in the kitchen and the garage and the outdoors. for that i am grateful. Course, i never shied away from all the manly stuff they talked about at the dinner table either.

Joe said...

This is one of those bizarre memes that shows up in books and movies, but I've never met a woman who thinks a man cooking is actually romantic in general--nice maybe, romantic on occasion, but never romantic in general.

m00se said...

When I saw the term "gastrosexual" all I could think of was Titus.

Go figure...

Christy said...

Isn't cooking half the appeal of Spenser in those Robert Parker mysteries?

My sister started teaching her boys (10 & 12) to cook this spring. She expects them to cook breakfast on vacation with family at the beach. One is proud of his pancakes, the other of his eggs over easy (and I'm impressed.)

Competence (of any kind) is always sexy in a man. Can't say that guys find my plumbing skills, meager though they are, at all appealing.

bagoh20 said...

"Can't say that guys find my plumbing skills, meager though they are, at all appealing."

That's all I know about you and you're already a 10 in my book.

traditionalguy said...

The saying at Truett Cathy's business is, "Food is a necessary part of life, so make it good". So cooking really good food and eating it together will always be a popular social skill. I have reason to believe that many women like social activities with men.

Methadras said...

WTF? My mom taught me how to cook when I was a kid. She said that I would need to do this someday when I went out on my own. I've been cooking for myself for years. I still do and for my family too, but now this entire genre of man-cooking is getting a badly romanticized name? This is horseshit.

Hucbald said...

Oh, I don't know. I bought a pair of the top-of-the-line Nike Air running shoes last week and exclaimed, "They're so comfortable it's like putting your foot in a vagina!"

Yeah, I got some strange looks, but it was true! LOL!