April 23, 2009

U.S. News thoughtfully ranks the law schools for your edification and convenience.

Thanks, U.S. News!

67 comments:

BJK said...

35!?!

I demand at that my school (much like its Football and Mens Basketball teams) make it into the top 25.

Therefore, I fully expect that you'll stop blogging and start making sure those students of yours know their Con Law.

On a side-note, if my tongue were any firmly planted in my cheek, it would be coming out the other end. Still, U-Rah-Rah Wisconsin and all that.

Bissage said...

The editors at U.S. News & World Report are crazy if they think anyone is going to take these rankings seriously without gold statuettes and a televised awards ceremony.

treeman said...

Good to know the law school up the street is tier 4. Does that make it the Kathy Griffin of law schools?

The Den Mother said...

Off topic - Is it my computer, or is the sidebar formatting on your main page all screwed up?

former law student said...

Do students try to transfer out of Wisconsin, or is it ranked high enough to reassure them?

goesh said...

I would have to rank Ms. Ann's current picture quite highly though not nearly as mysterious and alluring as previous photos. I say this only to ease her anger over Madison's 2cd fiddle rating.

Juris Dentist said...

Haha.

My my how Wisconsin has slipped. Below Georgia and Alabama!!

Well, you need, uh, truly productive faculty members to rank higher.

How does it feel to be dragging down your institution's reputation, professor?

rhhardin said...

Weekly news magazines are a genre that I've never been the right audience for, right from 8th grade social studies on.

They always seemed stupid.

They're still out there; but I'm less puzzled, having figured out what's up, namely selling audience to advertisers.

Our kids should be told so that the world makes sense to them. They are in fact stupid, but it's commercially viable, and that's why you see them around.

Jason (the commenter) said...

Maybe law schools should get together and start ranking magazines?

John K. said...

When I went to UW as I recall we were ranked either just above or just below Notre Dame. Although I still think these rankings are crap, I'm not happy that we've (you've?) slipped relative to that hive of poseurs in my backyard.

MadisonMan said...

How many years are you paying $20K or $45K or whatever?

I'm glad to see that Wisconsin's school is affordable, sort of.

chaz said...

UW students have transferred. to northwestern (at least one, maybe two in the last two years) and one to brooklyn (for family).

Scott said...

Si mon oncle a seins, il serait ma tante.

Trooper York said...

Dude nobody wants to hear about your taint.

john said...

The hell with the ranking, the only meaningful part is the number of students enrolled in these programs.

Lets see, adding up column 4 in the list comes to 117,774 law students currently enrolled in the US. Further, say 25% dropout rate, that means more than 22,000 new lawyers hitting the street every year.

Compare to about 17,000 med students entering school, times a 25% dropout rate (probably much more) equals 12,750 new doctors hitting private practice and hospitals every year.

So that's 1.75 new lawyers per new doctor. Seems about the right ratio to both get the doctor sued and keep the doctor from getting sued for malpractice.

john said...

I see Troopers here now; he will soon opine on what to do with the excess lawyer population.

Take it away ....

elHombre said...

Can I get this list in the newsstand copy of US News? Oh. Sorry.

Well, I guess I feel edified even though the dean of my alma mater will be pissed by a significicant drop. LOL

Trooper York said...

I would think the best law school would be at the University of Kenya.

I mean if you want an ambulance chaser you might as well get the fastest guys around.

Trooper York said...

Plus I think you shouldn't rank the law schools.

You should rank on the law schools.

Your law school is so ugly that when it was born the doctor slapped it's mother.

john said...

The doctor was then sued.

rhhardin said...

Si mon oncle a seins, il serait ma tante.

Did you look on the table.

Trooper York said...

Yes john, that is the rest of the story.

Paddy O. said...

For Trooper's edification, can we also see the list for the best Journalism schools.

molly said...

Why is it that the law school rankings are so important? In the humanities they're taken to not be really reflective of anything, but law students have been going nuts. Not that I'm disappointed to see the school I chose for grad school made it to the top ten in my field ...

Trooper York said...

Everybody knows that the best journalism school is Barnum and Baileys Clown College in Pensacola Florida.

I think Willard Scott was the first valedictorian.

Chip Ahoy said...

Si mon oncle avait des seins, il serait hermaphrodite.

Et il serait aussi beaucoup plus intéressant.

Chip Ahoy said...

Oh yeah? Well your law school is so ugly it was taken to the desert and abandoned to wither under the unforgiving blazing sun with no rainfall for a decades and that improved its general appearance.

Chip Ahoy said...

No, wait wait wait. Ranking on law schools, eh? Well a photo of your law school was shown to a group of naked mole rats who shrieked in terror and scampered off in all directions so far it destroyed the whole colony.

Chip Ahoy said...

Your law school was packed up into a rocket and launched into the sun to rid the Earth of it forever but the sun bounced it back with a note attached saying: Do I look like your law-school-eliminating bitch?

Chip Ahoy said...

Wow. A law degree at Clark is so cheap I could pay off a student loan using six months of taco money.

Chip Ahoy said...

Tap tap tap.

Is this thing on? Com'on, I know you're out there I can hear your exercise wheel turning.

Penny said...

Isn't the circus school in Sarasota? Pensacola is the home of the Blue Angels. Those guys don't clown around so much.

Trooper York said...

When your law school played in the sandbox the cat kept covering it up.

treeman said...

Your lawschool so fat its blood type is gravy.

Ok, that makes no sense whatsoever.

The Elder said...

Your law school is so ugly they had to tie a pork chop around its neck to get the dog to play with it.

Ba da boom.

Chip Ahoy said...

Your lawschool is so ugly and snaggletoothed that when it grinned area residents shoved a giant candle through its head and used it for a Jack-o-lantern which in turn frightened the children so badly trick-or-treating was cancelled for the next three decades resulting in a surplus of candy that ruined the economy. Or something.

Chip Ahoy said...

Your law school is so skank that when the landfill it was built on collapsed it sank fifty feet into sludge and when the petrification poured through the windows and the miasma rose through the rafters it sighed with satisfied relief and said, "My goodness how nice it is to finally breathe fresh air."

Chip Ahoy said...

Your law school is so poorly regarded that when Chance from Being There was told he was accepted he is reported to have said, "No f'n way man. I'm not going to that dumbass hell hole."

Chip Ahoy said...

No wait,it's worse than all that.

When you law school was pushed out of the back of C-130 in an effort to shatter it to bits so that it could decompose more rapidly a flock of geese held in their poop while passing over to protect their excrement from being contaminated by touching your school.

Chip Ahoy said...

When I scolded my dog for rolling in poop she barked, "Fine! I'll just go roll in your law school instead."

traditionalguy said...

U S News is starting another bubble of higher tuition bragging rights with no earthly idea what they are rating or why. A few good professors go a long way, but the basic rating factor is the quality of the students that they admit at each school. That is measured 5 years later.

Chip Ahoy said...

True dat. But when prisoners at Guantanamo were told they would be relocated to your law school they all cried in unison, "No! Please, not that! We'd rather be waterboarded again."

Trooper York said...

Your law school is so bad that this girl was applying and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now."

berkey said...

I demand at that my school (much like its Football and Mens Basketball teams) make it into the top 25.
Berkey Light

Chip Ahoy said...

Your law school is so pathetic on graduation day when the dean passed out JDs everyone went up and got their jelly donut.

Except the cool guys who got bottle of Jack Daniels.

Some just got a sheet of paper that said "Juvenile Delinquent." Which, of course, they proudly framed and waved around on Oberman.

Chip Ahoy said...

Your law school is so unternerdy each classroom has pegs for students to hang their propeller beanies.

When students misbehave the professors take away thier Harry Potter wands.

Chip Ahoy said...

Your law school is so stupid that first year paralegal classes begin with students learning how to pack chutes.

Chip Ahoy said...

Your legal school is so backward that when you select "legal size" on school copiers it uses the paper tray for 3x5 index cards.

Chip Ahoy said...

I'm serious over here. Your law school is so incredibly awkward that your school's basketball team showed up for a game with balls woven from rattan.

Chip Ahoy said...

It blows my mind. Your law school is so ignorant when the student body was instructed to assemble on the school quad they all piled into the back of the dean's 4X4 and awaited further instructions.

Chip Ahoy said...

But credit where it's due. I recently learned that gas-mask manufacturers test their new products at your law school which they consider the most rigorous testing possible.

Chip Ahoy said...

The curriculum at your law school is so puffy other law schools use it for insulation material.

Donna B. said...

Chip Ahoy, I love you. Don't stop now!!

(proud mother of a graduate of a 3rd tier law school... who has a job!)

former law student said...

Not basketball, volleyball (sepak takraw)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXmjOMUdsPY

Chip Ahoy said...

Your law school is so cheap their class rings are collected from boxes of Cracker Jacks.

Chip Ahoy said...

Your law school is so stupid at graduation the mortar board hats were fashioned from real cement.

former law student said...

BTW, my law school is so cool that other law schools bid on the privilege of sniffing its dirty sweat socks.

Chip Ahoy said...

Your law school is so ugly when it went to New Orleans for Mardi Gras the krewes on the floats all cried "Laissez les bon temps arrĂȘt!" and they yelled "Button up your blouse, Bitch, and give us back our beads."

Chip Ahoy said...

Your law school is so lame their effort to grade on the curve had to be adjusted to grade on the flatline instead.

Chip Ahoy said...

Don't even get me started about your law school's library. The book Learn How to Speed Read is always long over due because students are can never finish it fast enough to return it on time.

And students keep putting off checking out required reading for the organization workshop Learn How to Not Procrastinate

And they keep misplacing Organization for DummiesThe Doctor Seuss books never get checked out because the poetry is too opaque for your law school's student body.

Chip Ahoy said...

A required course for all American-born students at your law school is Introduction to English as a Second Language.

Chip Ahoy said...

Don't encourage the lad, it only gets worse.

All the Special Ed kids at other schools are loaded up into the short bus wearing their helmets and enrolled in your law school's Advanced Education Division.

Chip Ahoy said...

When the students at your law school are so stupid when they built a bon fire to celebrate graduation they forgot to take the old wooden desks and chairs out of the class rooms and burned down the whole school.

Chip Ahoy said...

Your law school is so dumb they teach a civil tort is a very polite pie.

Chip Ahoy said...

Your law school teaches criminal defense is one of two football teams at a prison.

Chip Ahoy said...

This one guy at your law school is so stupid he thinks probate is either the opposite of antibate or the opposite of amateurbate.

treeman said...

Are the guilds still around? Does one have to be an amateur before one can become a master?