April 23, 2009

"Hey, Matt. Sure is a gorgeous day to get drunk and throw beanbags back and forth on the front sidewalk for 11 hours!"

Matt thinks: "Someday, I’ll eat pancakes on your grave."

56 comments:

Henry Buck said...

Matt sounds like he needs to get laid.

Freeman Hunt said...

Heh.

I love nice weather, and I do make small talk about it.

However, this Matt person definitely managed to distill the essence of things I didn't like in college. "Want to come to our drum circle? You'll have to listen to it all day and night regardless." "Austin spray-painted the sidewalk by the admin building, and they're trying to discipline him, but it's political speech, and it's art. Come to our protest?" (Actually happened, and the guy got off.) "Want to help raise money for Cause #263 in the most inefficient way possible?" "Let's all sit around and discuss our painfully ignorant opinions of religion/politics/philosophy again." "Woohoo! Time for everyone to get outrageously drunk for the 157th time this year!"

I know, I know. There are exceptions. And perhaps part of growing up besides.

But it's still funny.

Pogo said...

College curmudgeons can be pretty funny. I used to be that guy, until I fell in love.

Now their nihilism just makes the sky seem that much brighter to me, the breeze that much warmer.

They're still a hoot.
I hope the girl he finds has a smile that dissolves him silly.

Marcia said...

Pogo, sometimes you are simply wonderful.

k*thy said...

Boy, someone's having a bad day.

I actually do like the blizzards and winters, here. I like the cyclical change in seasons and I love how our winters discourage the size and number of creepy-crawlies we have to live with.

Triangle Man said...

Hey Matt, nice shorts!

MadisonMan said...

Pogo: Perfect.

I'll still say to this Matt guy: It could be worse: You could have no limbs and be in front of my front door.

Christy said...

How do I become the kind of person who smiles and says, as Pogo did, "I hope the girl he finds has a smile that dissolves him silly." Instead I growl and think that if he cannot find a girlfriend, he should get himself a dog. (Rescue, of course)

goesh said...

I agree with Henry Buck - Matt has been masturbating way too much

EDH said...

The rites or pretentions of spring?

When I was in school every spring there was always at least one golden retriever in the quad with red bandana instead of a collar around his neck. Oh, what living symbols of carefree bliss. Where the hell were these dogs kept the rest of the year? I suspect locked-up in some shitty run-down apartment off campus. And wherever they were, I bet they weren't wearing red fucking bandanas in the middle of January.

How about driving around with your foot/leg out the car window? You saw how that worked out for Jungle Julia in the Hold Tight clip from Death Proof.

Ah, the misanthopy brings me back.

Big Mike said...

How long has Matt been an undergraduate? If he's still in his twenties he's awfully young to be a crumudgeon.

ricpic said...

Without irritation...no pearl.



Of course, that's if you consider Matt's rant against niceness-blandness to be a pearl, as I do. A black pearl maybe but the necessary anti-dote to the tyranny of the well adjusted.

MadisonMan said...

I see very few dogs on campus. I recall once when our Golden was alive, I walked her to Babcock to get ice cream. What an student magnet she was.

SteveR said...

Lackanookie is a horrible condition although in the 70s, at least, it only resulted in a lot of pot and rock n' roll.

Pogo said...

A dog would cure him, too.

Dogs make you see spring again, the way it was when you were eight, all goofy anticipation and wonder and unbridled fun.

A dog would cure him, but a smile from love while holding a smaller smooth hand has its own undeniable magic.

A dog might attract that very magician, so hedge your bets.

Joan said...

LOL: Because I know that as long as there’s snow on the ground, I won’t see any culottes or public drum circles.
Do people still wear culottes?

Matt is the anti-Nina, who has been celebrating spring nearly daily. I'm more on the Nina end of the scale, myself, but I can appreciate where Matt's coming from.

bagoh20 said...

I can remember loving the warmth of the sun on me in springtime as far back as 3 years old. Sitting on the cool stone of the front stoop as the morning sun warmed my jeans was the most serene feeling as a kid. Now half a century later I still love it and when I stop loving it, then just spread my ashes.

Trooper York said...

Damn that Matt Lauer is a nasty bitch. Where in the world is he?

The Elder said...

Wherever he is, here's hoping he stays there.

Jeremy said...

Speaking of having a nice day...or hoping to...this should depress the shit out of most here:

Obama, Direction Of U.S. Favored By Most Americans:

AP Poll - WASHINGTON:

For the first time in years (eight?), more Americans than not say the country is headed in the right direction, a sign that Barack Obama has used the first 100 days of his presidency to lift the public's mood and inspire hopes for a brighter future.

Intensely worried about their personal finances and medical expenses, Americans nonetheless appear realistic (look "realistic" up) about the time Obama might need (more than 100 days?) to turn things around, according to an Associated Press-GfK poll.

It shows most Americans consider their new president to be a strong, ethical and empathetic leader (but what about what Rush and Newt and Sean say??) who is working to change Washington.

*Don't worry...when they say "Americans" they don't mean YOU.

Pogo said...

Isn't it ironic?
Doncha think?
A little too ironic?

Kylos said...

Yeah, I don't recall seeing culottes in more than 10 years. I can't imagine anyone wearing them recently enough to warrant that portion of his rant.

rocketeer67 said...

It would have been shorter if he'd said "Springtime on college campuses would be okay, if it weren't for the return do-nothing "Free Tibet" demonstrations for hacky-sack."

Which I actually sort of agree with.

rocketeer67 said...

It would have been shorter if he'd said "Springtime on college campuses would be okay, if it weren't for the return of do-nothing "Free Tibet" demonstrations and hacky-sack."

Which I actually sort of agree with.

JSF said...

An article I found yesterday that relates to one of the comentators here.

Guess which one?

http://www.flayme.com/troll/

How can troll posts be recognised?
No Imagination - Most are frighteningly obvious; sexist comments on nurses' groups, blasphemy on religious groups .. I kid you not.

Pedantic in the Extreme - Many trolls' preparation is so thorough, that while they waste time, they appear so ludicrous from the start that they elicit sympathetic mail - the danger is that once the group takes sides, the damage is done.

False Identity - Because they are cowards, trolls virtually never write over their own name, and often reveal their trolliness (and lack of imagination) in the chosen ID. As so many folk these days use false ID, this is not a strong indicator on its own!
...

Off-topic posting - Often genuine errors, but, if from an 'outsider' they deserve matter-of-fact response; if genuine, a brief apposite response is simply netiquette; if it's a troll post, you have denied it its reward.
Repetition of a question or statement is either a troll - or a pedant; either way, treatment as a troll is effective.

Missing The Point - Trolls rarely answer a direct question - they cannot, if asked to justify their twaddle - so they develop a fine line in missing the point.

Thick or Sad - Trolls are usually sad, lonely folk, with few social skills; they rarely make what most people would consider intelligent conversation. However, they frequently have an obsession with their IQ and feel the need to tell everyone. This is so frequent, that it is diagnostic! Somewhere on the web there must be an Intelligence Test for Trolls - rigged to always say "above 150"

JSF said...

Back to the ORIGINAL subject:

When I was at American University, I would enjoy spending the time near the Kay Spritual Life Center (where I would go for the High Holidays) and just sit and read.

At the time, I was enjoying Stephen Ambrose's work on Nixon.

Spring days are made for enjoying.

Trooper York said...

I spent most of my free time in college at the Doll House on Murray Street. Many beautiful flowers bloomed there let me tell you.

Peter V. Bella said...

My my. They really allow all that profanity and vulgarity in a college paper. It demonstrates that higher education is indeed a valuabe commodity. It proves that academia is really doing a fine job of teaching.

Maybe someday that will be the editorial format for real newspapers.

Jeremy said...

JSF said..."When I was at American University..."

Strangely enough I happen to have long time friends who attended A.U. and considering everything I've ever heard about the universities reputation, diversity of the student body and the fact that the overall message the faculty and student body believe and promote...what the fuck happened to YOU?

You're just another of the far right wing yahoos who constantly bitch and whine about "leftists," or anybody else with whom you disagree, you're a Jew who throws out comments relating to throwing Jews into ovens, and for whatever reason appear to be obsessed with ME...and some article about internet trolls that was written about eight years ago by some guy nobody's ever heard of.

And by the way; when YOu post comments on sites that aren't leaning right...you're also considered a "troll."

Freeman Hunt said...

It's springtime. Birds are singing. The sun is shining. Love is in the air. Let's all hug Jeremy!

Chip Ahoy said...

Cold pancakes can put you off pancakes altogether for decades. Crêpes are another matter.

But Matt should have a care, with an attitude like that his fellow students, being students, just might have a beer-tanked up wee on his grave. That, or a drum circle, hey-ya hoy-ya hoy-ya hoy-ya hey-ya hoy-ya hoy-ya hoy-ya, to salvage his soul.

Wanna hear something stupid? OK:

I'm still fascinated with planting seeds and watching little plants grow out of the dirt. It gets me every single time. I get out a magnifying glass and examine their progress continuously. For some reason, I still maintain the awestruck wonder of a kinder planting beans pressed against the side of a jar so that the roots, hypocotyl, and plumule display, then watch in amazement as they burst through the ground and struggle toward the light. It's brilliant! The rest of it is OK too but that beginning of things, a continuation really, is amazing.

Peter V. Bella said...

Dear Jeremy,

You are the offspring of a whore and an adulterer. Whom are you mocking? Against whom do you open your mouth wide and stick out your tongue?

Are you not a child of transgression, offspring of deceit-that burn with lust among the oaks under every green tree? You slaughter your children under the clefts of rocks?

Jeremy said...

Peter V. Bella said..."Dear Jeremy, You are the offspring of a whore and an adulterer."

And yet another insane rant from a drunken ex-cop.

Nice to know we've had people like yourself representing themselves as protectors of America's citizenry (that is, if you're telling the truth.)

Please...back off the meds, and why are you already drinking at 10:30 in the morning?

Trooper York said...

Why would you eat pancakes? I mean that is kinda messy and hard to do. Would you eat it on a plate with a knife and fork? Wouldn't a hot dog be better? Or a candy bar? Or a knish? Maybe an ice cream cone? Why pancakes? Is it a subtle racial dig?

If Mort was awake he would say eating pancakes is racist.

rocketeer67 said...

Well done Peter. Yet another great literary reference Jeremy’s too uncultured to get.

rocketeer67 said...

Pancakes are more festive and celebratory.

Peter V. Bella said...

rocketeer67,

Literary? Close, very close.

Peter V. Bella said...

"Is it a subtle racial dig?"

Aunt Jemimah anyone?

Peter V. Bella said...

"Is it a subtle racial dig?"

Aunt Jemimah anyone?

rhhardin said...

Spring has sprung, the grass has riz
Where last year's careless drivers is.

From the schoolyard at age 11.

rocketeer67 said...

Peter, you don't consider Isaiah a literary gem, as well as a religious and cultural gem?

I am assuming, perhaps uncharitably, that our troll would not view the Bible primarily as a religious document. But only a philistine would not view it as important literarily.

Nichevo said...

Blogger Jeremy said...

you're a Jew who throws out comments relating to throwing Jews into ovens,

This is why I asked you those questions on the other thread. WTF do you think you mean by this? Would you object to blacks "throwing out comments relating to blacks being lynched?"

I'm just discussing the Holocaust today with my cousin Maia - she told me at the Seder that our village near Kiev boasts an unfortunate distinction in the progression of the Final Solution. I was just asking her for more details not half an hour ago.

And this...would be wrong? Boy you must hate the idea of Passover!

Henry Buck said...

By "philistine" do you mean someone from Philadelphia? If so, I take offense.

rocketeer67 said...

No. I thought you were known as philatelists.

ElcubanitoKC said...

Hmm, I'm late for this party.

I dislike Spring, and prefer Fall and Winter for different reasons than the author's. Spring brings allergies, and mold, and mud, and tornados. Noisy, high pitched, long and hurtful to the ear tornado sirens. I strongly dislike them.

On the other hand, I actually enjoy seeing people out. I'm an observer of humanity. In most cases, it makes me feel much better about myself, hehe.

I also dislike summer, specially this muggy continental summer of ours. I grew up in permanent summer, for the most part. It was twenty one years of summer with, thankfully, and contrary to what everyone thinks, lower temperatures and less humidity.

Give me cold/cool. One can always add more clothes, but try walking out without them, or ripping off your skin.

The Other Jeremy said...

Yup, students rags are as awful as I remember them. Money says there's at least one letter to the editor decrying Jay Bybee, one complaining about cops harassing homeless guys and one bemoaning lack of affordable student housing. Maybe not the housing one.

Jeremy said...

rocketeer67 said..."et another great literary reference Jeremy’s too uncultured to get.:

Right.

Peter, the intellectual and cultured giant.

That's funny.

Jeremy said...

Nichevo said...

Blogger Jeremy said..."you're a Jew who throws out comments relating to throwing Jews into ovens..."

Yes, I said that to JSF, because he reffered to Obama doing just that.

You say: "This is why I asked you those questions on the other thread. WTF do you think you mean by this? Would you object to blacks "throwing out comments relating to blacks being lynched?"

Where's the connection?

I personally think JSF stepped over the line with the Obama throwing Jews into ovens comment.

YOU don't?

traditionalguy said...

Maybe Matt saw the law school rankings where U of W-Madison couldnot even outrank UGA where it never snows and the co-eds are all Pretty Women.

traditionalguy said...

Last time I heard about anyone throwing Jews anywhere the Jews always had surrendered to their executioners first. Now I hear that those pesky Hebrews plan to fight back. Maybe the Global Climate really is changing.

Nichevo said...

Jeremy, it seemed that in general you were questioning the taste of anyone using a Jews-to-the-gas-chambers analogy, especially Jews. Now you simply resent that this comparison was applied to some particular actions or sentiments by Obama.

OK, I missed it if this was part and parcel of your concern. What statement or action was at issue? I honestly missed it.

Nonetheless, I would say that such a reference can never be exact; but plenty of people use hyperbole without rising to the level of "disgusting" or whatever your word was.

Enabling Iran, say, to strike Israel with nuclear weapons, would compare pretty well with the Shoah, even if the labor-camp and corpse-looting aspects were absent.

Giving the chief rabbi of Israel, say, a package of pork rinds as a Presidential gift, would not rise to that level; we all know Obama is present-challenged. What did JSF resent?

OTOH, some black socio/political figures fling about "lynching" very freely, which I agree can be quite distasteful. But it is always hard to know what is common currency. And again it's usually about the oxen and the goring.

Excuse me, I apologize again, my mind is elsewhere.

Penny said...

Blogger Pogo said...

Isn't it ironic?
Doncha think?
A little too ironic?

That it is, Pogo!

I remember when "weather" was what many talked about when we shared an awkward moment of on-line, socially awkward silence.

Today? Those very same people say we have nothing MORE important to talk about than weather.

Progress or not, Pogo?

I say the globals are warming. ;)

blake said...

Aw, come on, what's more fun than hating happy people?

Unless it's being one of the happy people and enjoying the suffering it apparently causes.

Whoa. That's messed up, right there.

JSF said...

Nichevo,

Here is what I wrote on the Obama/Ortega thread. The question goes back to how the Germans of the 30's and 40's followed their leader unquestionably (i.e. Jeremy). It is a question of Lockstep, popularity and results.

Jeremy likes to cite that if something is popular, it must be right. Thus the example below. If you have any questions Nichevo, just ask. Now the cause:

"However, if the polls support President Obama throwing Jews into ovens, you [Jeremy] and AL [Alpha Liberal] will be the first ones to help the process along.

"To Jeremy and AL, Dissent is NOT patriotic. Has he [Jeremy] ever proven otherwise since 1/20/09?"

rocketeer67 said...

HAH. Good one Jeremy. Whether he is or isn't, I never said Peter was an "intellectual and cultural giant."

But he's certainly demonstrably smarter than you, which with apologies to Peter is probably damning him with barely palpable praise.

srfwotb said...

Spring is in the air and the eagles are nesting: http://tinyurl.com/ckwsad

(Warning: don't click if it's dark PST or if you don't like wildlife stuff. If they're not there, check back. It's very cool when all four of the adults are in attendance.)

I loved the spring at college whether or not I was newly hooked up. The atmosphere of spring is the same feeling - you can just meander through it. The only thing that made me hate it is if I felt fat. As a SoCal transplant, all those NoCal pasty legs proudly displayed in shorts and sandals did make me a tad uncomfortable at first, but I soon got over it.