April 22, 2009

"And in my experience, too, people did sometimes stick things in my underwear... Or not my underwear."

"Whatever. Whatever. I was the one who did it? I don't know. I mean, I don't think it's beyond human experience, not beyond human experience."

Yesterday, Justice Breyer talked about his underpants.

(PDF.)

IN THE COMMENTS: Daryl says:
The crazy fact is, about 40% of the Supreme Court's civil rights cases turn on the personal experiences of the judges.

"I never did that. So why does anyone else need the right to do that?"

Or, in this case, "they'd better strip search those kids. I smuggled Ibuprofen into school twice a week in my Superman underoos."

21 comments:

chuck b. said...

"Not beyond human experience"? Did he find that in the briefs?

chuck b. said...

Maybe he should look in his drawers.

chuck b. said...

Such an eloquent interpretation...

Maybe he's jockeying for Chief Justice.

chuck b. said...

Liberal justices are known for their Broad View Decisions.

chuck b. said...

(note: It's only 6:15 in California--I haven't even arisen from my flannel sheets yet, let alone had coffee!)

Lem said...

Has Sandy Berger briefed the justices?

EDH said...

Or perhaps stick your underwear in things, like the crack of your behind, Mr. Justice?

It's called a wedgie (also known as a snuggie, grundie, gotch pull, or mervin).

And yes, your Honor, we do "have studies" on that.

mcg said...

Well done, chuck b.

I assume Breyer was wearing tightie whities, because I don't think boxer shorts provide the necessary, um, support to actual conceal contraband.

traditionalguy said...

When a Philosopher King tries to act like another real fellow from out of the 1950's High School era, the only thought I get is "lameness". They need to stay out of fine tuning the nuances of regulating in school strip search torture, and just apply the Damn Constitution like student citizens are citizens.

Jennifer said...

The post setup makes PDF sound like a warning. NSFW. TMI. OMG.

Pogo said...

Justice Breyer betrays his deep longings for Drudge.

Pogo said...

NTTAWWT.

jdeeripper said...

"And in my experience, too, people did sometimes stick things in my underwear... Or not my underwear."I think his hesitation here might be over whether or not a G-string counts as underwear.

This seems like a reference to the old story about the party were Breyer was dancing on one of the tables and Ruth Bader Ginzberg and Sandra Day O'Connor were putting dollar bills in his G-string.

Or maybe he was talking about something else.

Bissage said...

When I was 18 or so, I took ballet lessons because a drama coach advised that doing so would promote a better feel for the space of the stage.

There was one other straight guy in the class, also a newbie, and he tucked his young fellows into a good old-fashioned jock strap.

Me? I wore a dance belt because I insisted on authenticity. Wearing the dance belt was very annoying because there was no room in there for my meat and two veg, which squished out all over the place, from moment to moment, with no real predictability.

Sometimes there were two to the left and sometimes there were two to the right. Once, I had to stop and make an adjustment, in the middle of a lift, as all three of my caballeros had headed south at the same time. And no, I did not wash my hands before I went back to grabbing my hapless dance partner about her waist. Life ain’t fair.

Anyway, it was after class, in the changing room, where one of the experienced dancers was admiring my package and he informed me that the narrower part of the dance belt does not go in front. Rather, the narrower part goes in the back and it is properly pulled up extra tight between the ass cheeks, smack dab up against Mr. Stanky Oppenheimer.

For this counterintuitive information, I was grateful.

And I pass this story onto my fellow Althousians, as a public service, should any of them ever find it necessary to choose between mangling the family jewels, on the one hand, and splitting the defense, on the other.

You’re welcome.

Bissage said...

DAMNATION!1!!!!!

If only they had invented teh intertubes back in those days!

LINK.If only I'd have known.

** sniff **

Laura(southernxyl) said...

Jennifer, LOL.

Unless Breyer was a 13-yr-old girl who was subject to being strip searched, I'm not sure how his personal experience is relevant here. Many 13-year-old girls love Hello Kitty and Babysitter's Club. Does that fall within Breyer's experience too?

Bissage said...

Dear Fellow Althousians,

In all candor, and in the interest of thoroughness, it should be noted that the dance belt illustrated at 10:49 was not, in fact, the style of dance belt discussed at 10:39, even though that might make for a funnier story.

The belt I was wearing was of THIS style, except it was black, nttawwt.

Please note the designations of “front” and “back” at the link and be advised that a man of even modest endowment would be well-advised to do the opposite. Please note also that the thinner part that corks the bottle, so to speak, needs to be disinfected with industrial solvent immediately after each and every wearing, lest the whole contraption grow into something resembling a primitive ecosystem.

Truly Yours Straining in the Second Position,

Bissage

Daryl said...

The crazy fact is, about 40% of the Supreme Court's civil rights cases turn on the personal experiences of the judges.

"I never did that. So why does anyone else need the right to do that?"

Or, in this case, "they'd better strip search those kids. I smuggled Ibuprofen into school twice a week in my Superman underoos."

Christy said...

Is Breyer straying into territory where it makes just as much sense to nominate a psychologist as a lawyer to the court?

Is the law truly that oblique in this case, or merely politically inconvenient?

jdeeripper said...

Jennifer said...The post setup makes PDF sound like a warning. NSFW. TMI. OMG.

There's no way I'm clicking on the underpants tag.

I'm not optimistic about that one at all.

Nichevo said...

He's saying these things, and what I'm hearing is, "Yes, I got sodomized by the assistant principal in ninth grade too. And I liked it! What the hell is this breeder whining about?"

NTTAWWT (?)



Hmm...on a side note, let me pose a hypothetical. This may be an easy one...

A Supe, high military official, politician, someone of that type with a 40 year record of public service is outed or comes out as gay.

During his (let's say, his, for the moment) 40 year career, where he functioned either acceptably or superbly, he was repeatedly in positions where a security clearance was required, and homosexuality would have disqualified him, as of course would lying on a Form 86.

Does the knowledge of his prior malfeasance (not of the gaydom so much as the perjury) serve to impeach him?