February 26, 2009

The NYT is trying to take away our toilet paper!

"[T]he issue of toilet paper has become less of a joke (except when celebrities express an opinion) and more of a cause: since the fluffy kind cannot be made from recycled paper, conservationists argue, consumers can do their part to protect the environment by buying the rougher stuff."

I just have 2 things to say:

1. If new trees must be used, isn't that a good thing, global-warmingly speaking? Growing trees absorb carbon dioxide, then they are made into nice paper, and the used toilet paper... well, where does it go? Is it sequestered? If so, it's a solution, not a problem.

2. The NYT is printed on paper. Great massive rolls of paper. What's more important: printed newspaper — I can read the news on line — or soft fluffy toilet paper? You can't wipe your ass on line — though, God knows, some people have tried. We need toilet paper! Soft fluffy toilet paper. Leave me alone!

140 comments:

Meade said...

What we need is the NY Times printed on soft fluffy toilet paper that can be recycled into ethanol to power our laptops and blackberries so Titus can report all the new loaves that pinch.

ricpic said...

The solution is the bidet.

Patting dry after with the rough ain't so bad.

Randy said...

Next NY Times-promoted fashion craze: Hair shirts.

Triangle Man said...

Rough toilet paper is a *great* idea. This is just one leaf (or sheet) of the Soviet guide to better living that we could adopt to make the world a better place. We should also all move into big concrete apartments in centrally located industrial cities.

Triangle Man said...

Ricpic, you're going to rile up the water conservationists with that talk.

Henry Buck said...

A bidet??!! My god ricpic, didn't you see the Bloomberg article, highlighted by Drudge, explaining the coming cataclysm due to the scarcity of water?

Prof. A. -

You were referring to Titus in your aside that some have tried to wipe their asses on line, right?

MadisonMan said...

Is it sequestered? If so, it's a solution, not a problem.

I think your neighbors will complain if you start sequestering toilet paper in your yard.

I have noticed the UW's toilet paper is awfully rough lately, but assumed it was the UW being cheap, not environmentally friendly.

Will said...

"You can't wipe your ass on line — though, God knows, some people have tried."

LOL -- that is the single funniest line I've read in quite a while -- thanks

Henry said...

Isn't toilet paper returned to the environment? What I don't recycle I compost.

I have read that scientists who do core samples of landfills find that diapers compress (to name another environmentalist bugaboo), but newspapers don't.

To assume the Times worldview, the obvious solution is to wipe your ass on newspaper (after reading it, of course).

Henry Buck said...

Given the hyperinflation that is just over the horizon, we will all be wiping our asses with dollar bills, just like Warren Buffet does now.

El Presidente said...

And installing 90 million bidets nationwide will have no environmental impact? The green fairies will just make them appear. Much like the electricity that drives zero emission cars.

If I cancel my subscription to the Times, can I wipe my ass with anything I want.

Palladian said...

I hate soft, fluffy toilet paper, for reasons that I won't reveal since I'm not titus.

It's plain, unquilted Scottissue in the bathroom here.

El Presidente said...

What's wrong with hyperinflation?

Doesn't everyone want to drive $100,000 cars and wear $5,000 suits?

Palladian said...

I do like the bidet concept however. Absent a bidet, I think it's a good idea to shower after defecating.

ironrailsironweights said...

We could always go back to the old days and used dried corn cobs.

Peter

fcai said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
AllenS said...

I'm heating my house with corn that I grew. I use the manure spreader to put the discarded corn cobs back on the field. I should hold on to them for a while longer. I'm thinking that I could possibly sell them as earth-friendly butt wipes.

Maybe, I could get Al Gore as my pitchman: "Stop climate change, wipe your ass with these!"

fcai said...

Or, we could, as the favorite commenter here does, use a sock. Then throw the sock away to prevent the rare overweight dogs from becoming rarer or fatter.

Then we could misplace our fabulous $300 shirt and crawl on the floor looking for it, while spewing hatred towards those of a better social class who happen to live next door.

I think that plan will save America. It is certainly as sound and well thought out as Obama's abortion of a budget.

Great White Father George said...

We live in The Age of Hysteria.

This is like saying eating potatoes harms the environment because to eat potatoes, they must be harvested, and it takes energy (and thus pollution) to do that, transport them, package them, prepare them, and cook them, and haul away the scraps; therefore, no potatoes should be harvested, and, therefore, everyone should die to save the planet and its potatoes.

Or perhaps we should all have in-house fungus factories and eat home-made Quorn.

Meanwhile, I saw French cheese at Whole Foods yesterday for sale at $34.99 a pound. How absurd to expend energy to transport cheese across the Atlantic so rich people can nibble it. It must be banned.

PeteDrum said...

Forgive me if this has already been established, but is 'Titus' just a play on 'Tight-ass'? (Like Sullivan is 'Power Glutes').

TMink said...

"Leave me alone!"

Join the club. I wish you had seen this coming like some of the rest of us did. Liberals believe in and support intrusive government.

Trey

Richard Fagin said...

Carbon in the form of carbon dioxide is used by growing trees and is removed from the atmosphere. It is sequestered to the extent the carbon remains in the form of paper and is not burned or put in a position of having decomposition gases released into the atmosphere.

A graph of atmospheric carbon shows a clear "sawtooth" pattern with an annual cycle. The downslope of each cycle corresponds to spring and summer in the northern hemisphere. It's pretty clear that growing trees remove carbon dioxide from the atmoshpere.

Tell the NYT to kiss off.

UWS guy said...

bidet > toilet paper. Why wipe your ass when you can power wash it?

Besides I have fur in my crack to rival an ursine. I wonder if Titus is into Bears? (if andrew Sullivan is reading this thread--as he linked to althouse yesterday--I'd ask him as well)

tim maguire said...

Trees are a renewable resource. It is completely unimportant that they have to be chopped down to make toilet paper.

Unfortunately, dingbat environmentalists are a renewable resource as well.

PatCA said...

Why don't we bomb ourselves back to the Stone Age?

This would accomplish two big leftist goals: disarming the US and reducing human "pressure" on the biosphere.

David said...

Save money and the Earth and be clean at the same time...yes! Get serious and add Bathroom Bidet Sprayers to all your bathrooms. Available at www.bathroomsprayers.com with these you won't even need toilet paper any more, just a towel to dry off! It's cheap and can be installed without a plumber; and runs off the same water line to your toilet. You'll probably pay for it in a few months of toilet paper savings. And after using one of these you won't know how you lasted all those years with wadded up handfuls of toilet paper. Now we're talking green and helping the environment without any pain.

rhhardin said...

Go the Scott 1000 tissue rolls. The roll lasts forever.

They're not fluffy either.

Bill said...

AA: Growing trees absorb carbon dioxide, then they are made into nice paper, and the used toilet paper... well, where does it go? Is it sequestered? If so, it's a solution, not a problem.

No, it doesn't really get sequestered. It goes into the sewage treatment system, and gets 'digested' into methane, CO2, and water. To sequester paper, put it into a landfill; newsprint has been found in legible condition decades after burial.

Old joke: What's the difference between sandpaper and German toilet paper?
Sandpaper is smooth on one side.

Jason (the commenter) said...

Althouse misses the point. The New York Times is subtly trying to encourage people to use its paper ("rougher stuff") when going to the bathroom. Their sales have been declining with the economy as fewer people need packaging material and this could be just the shot in the arm they need.

BJM said...

The NYT is sooo irony challenged.

Used toilet paper and solid matter particulate finishes up as a dry soil-like material at the end of the sewer plant process, which is then sold/recycled to farms, for agriculture related products and fertilizer. Just as in the re-use of cardboard boxes, what was once a liability that one paid to have carted away, night soil cake has become an asset to cities.

The compost nutrient component of bagged potting soil is sterilized sewer farm particulate. I shit you not.

Leland said...

One of the greatest advances in energy conservation "green technology" is regeneration plants. That is, use excess heat that has to be released anyway to run generators.

So, how about just making the NYT out of fluffy toiletpaper. Then we can wipe our asses with it.

Joe said...

Recycling asshats blithely ignore the fact that most recycling is very inefficient and very polluting; paper recycling is among the worse offenders. (Most metals and glass recycle well and are cost efficient. Most everything else isn't.)

Original Mike said...

I grew up in "paper country" (central Wisconsin). Pulp trees are scrubby trees that grow fast. We ain't talkin' redwoods here. Now, maybe you can make an argument that less energy is expended using recycled paper. I doubt it, but I don't know. But you can not make a sensible argument based on "saving trees".

Sofa King said...

And here I thought I was the only one who actually liked the Scott 1000-sheet rolls! Two-ply, but no lint, and no schnivels! And yes, it lasts for ever.

Though I do admit I am intrigued by the idea of one of these Japanese techno-toilets that flushes, rinses, dries, and plays a happy tune.

What we really need are the three seashells. Why isn't there any stimulus for THAT?

UWS guy said...

If only we could figure out a way to make TP out of a renewable resouce...

Something more Eco-friendly and ethical than cutting down old-growth oak...something a la soilent green....

Why, it's got green right in the name even...

Sloanasaurus said...

The Obama Administration, which is now the most irresponsible in history with their $1.75 trillion deficit, is now ready to tax all your eneergy usage.

Soon people will find it cheaper to heat the old fashion way - the use of a fireplace or wood stove. The trouble with that is it actually uses more carbon per capita than gas or electric.

Global arming taxes are just the cherry on top of all the other moronic things Obama has done. $1.75 trillion. These are debts that are only normal for wars. What happens if we have to fight a war to defend ourself. We will be totally tapped out.

bearbee said...

Grrrr..... One sheet? Why not as long as it's 10 ply.....

ditto on Scott tissue

New York Times Deathwatch

Marc Andreessen on Charlie Rose: On the NYT....Stop printing newspapers

video.

The newspaper stuff begins at about 29 minutes

traditionalguy said...

This nanny state guilt followed by absolution kibuke over and over is fine over at the local religious cult.But why are educated people falling for it? When you have let your purpose and value in life become measured by how much less of the world's natural environment you use, then you are done for because you will have to kill yourself to feel you did enough.This world is not an accidental thing. It is a gift to men for their place to live, breath, work, love, and educate more men to enjoy it after us.The Goddess Gea does not own it, it's OUR inheritance. Nothing is running out except commom sense and people's understanding of their need to thank the Creator regularly. Toilet paper is not Sin. Now all you educated people,go do your duty to Freud and your country, and quit worrying about about being blessed with abundance.

madawaskan said...

Look-I have it on good authority that foreigners are our superiors-so-

Canadians use leaves-and-

Cedarford's "peeps" use their left hand so-ya.

madawaskan said...

In wintertime...

oh nevermind-I'll see how this develops.

Dale said...

You can't wipe your ass on line — though, God knows, some people have tried.

BEST POST OF THE YEAR SO FAR!

LM(wiped)AO!

Dale said...

Scott 1000-sheet rolls! Two-ply, but no lint, and no schnivels!

Where do you get 2 Ply Scott 1,000 sheet? All the stores around here sell 1 Ply Scott 1,000 Sheet.

BJM said...

Sloanasaurus said...Soon people will find it cheaper to heat the old fashion way - the use of a fireplace or wood stove.

Not in the SF Bay Area which is a wide nine county swath of North Central CA. Laws banning or restricting fireplace/wood stoves to meet federally mandated smog targets are pretty much making wood burning extinct.

Burning wood for home heating has become so politically incorrect/anti-environmental that the aroma of wood smoke drifting on crisp winter nights is a rarity.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

Besides I have fur in my crack to rival an ursine

Waaaay more information than was needed.

Go to Costco and buy their mondo jumbo packages of Kirkland TP. Great quality, great value and you won't have to buy anymore for at least 6 months.

TosaGuy said...

"When you have let your purpose and value in life become measured by how much less of the world's natural environment you use, then you are done for because you will have to kill yourself to feel you did enough."

People who actually produce something tangible that is used by others generally don't think so little about themselves. How many of those hyper enviro d-bags who come up with this stuff actually produce something other than guilt over their own consumption.

George E. said...

I bet the New York Times would settle for having readers who actually read -- and quote fairly.

To justify her completely inaccurate blog heading, Althouse had to leave this sentence off of her quote: There are skeptics who say the benefits of such a switch are overstated.

The NYT was actually creating a forum for a discussion. Imagien that. What they "want" is intelligent discussion.

But what they get from Althouse is a butchered quote and a lame, inaccurate blog heading. No wonder they never asked you back.

Shawn Levasseur said...

Flushable Moist Wipes

Buford Gooch said...

John Wayne toilet paper: it's rough, and it's tough, and it don't take no shit off no Indians.

vbspurs said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
vbspurs said...

-never + ever

blogging cockroach said...

in days of old
when knights were bold
and toilet paper wasn t invented
they d wipe their ass
on clumps of grass
and walk away quite contented

hey i didn t say they all were gems

vbspurs said...

9 Bizarre Methods Once Used To Wipe (Ass)

1. Lambs Wool - Vikings

2. Frayed Anchor Line - Sailors

3. Stones - The Ancient Greeks

4. Sponge Sticks - The Ancient Romans

5. Corncobs - Cowboys

6. Hemp - The French

7. Coconut Shells - Hawaiians

8. Tundra Moss - Alaskan Eskimos

9. Left Hand - Islamic Peoples everywhere, India


...the last one is still very much in force wherever the Qu'ran reigns. In fact, one is supposed to say a little prayer before doing your business.

"In the name of Allah, O Allah! I seek refuge with You from all offensive and wicked things"(Al-Bukhaaree)

Why doesn't The Bible offer crapping tips?

Cheers,
Victoria

TitusGivesUAVirtualHug said...

Palladian is sharing way too much information on his pooping process.

Obviously, it's a cry for attention.

And talking about your furry crack is disgusting. Let's try to elevate the conversation here.

Sickos.

vbspurs said...

That American habit we have of entering restaurants as if they are public conveniences to relieve ourselves, is not standard around the world.

In many parts of South America, even if you do wangle yourself inside one (because the public ones are rare and smell like death), you'll often find yourself wincing at the pink sandpaper-like TP roll offered, IF there is one at all.

I got used to carrying my own inside my handbag.

Cheers,
Victoria

TitusGivesUAVirtualHug said...

This is a topic that you would expect from 8th graders not adults.

I am disgusted.

Henry said...

George E. -- One of the most important tools for smart thinking is asking the right questions. Some questions deserve to be mocked.

vbspurs -- you forgot:

10. Whatever it takes - Parents of infants, everywhere.

vbspurs said...

10. Whatever it takes - Parents of infants, everywhere.

I am an only child. Furthermore, I have never babysat any kid. Furthermore, I have no kids since I'm not married YET (yes, it's a logical sequence with some people), so you know...

Is baby poop really as stinky as they say?

Don't scare Freeman too much though.

traditionalguy said...

The sanctification of shit is not an important subject. The made from clay/dust and returning to clay/dust explanation is all we need to understand from the Bible's revelation to men. All men are wet dirt and a few chemicals growing, God and the abortionists willing, from 2 cells forming a zygote full of DNA code. And then comes the spirit that is eternal, says the revelation. I do wonder why the Catholic church has not enshrined Jesus' shit relics in thousands of places.

bearbee said...

Go to Costco and buy their mondo jumbo packages of Kirkland TP. Great quality, great value and you won't have to buy anymore for at least 6 months.

Always looking for value. Poop Culture site critiques Kirkland TP. In 2003 cost/1000 sheets = $2.50

That is not competitve when compared with Amazon and Scott tissue at $0.983/ 1000 sheets.

No shipping charge for prime customer.

Did I miscalculate?

AlgonquinS said...

In fact, one is supposed to say a little prayer before doing your business.

"Oh, God, please don't let my fingers go through this one ply tissue."

ElcubanitoKC said...

In Cuba, for years, the only use for the official rags the government calls newspapers down there; has been as toilet paper. What better thing to do with Castro's writing? In the same vein, what better thing to do with most of and partictuarly the editorial comment in the NYT?

MadisonMan said...

Is baby poop really as stinky as they say?

Depends on what they eat. It really stinks after weaning.

blogging cockroach said...

damn
my little very old poem worked
so
much better just after victoria s list
shit she had to go and spoil the effect
i am very particular about my effect both
on the environment and on althouse and
here my timing got totally stepped on which
of course is my big worry in general
but the n y t wants me to worry about

toilet paper
eat less meat
conspicuous nonconsumption
ride a bicycle
the rich man s dilemma

no problem with any of those being a cockraoch and all
i do have to take exception to no 2 however
i eat all the meat i can get especially mom s
french meatballs when she drops one behind
the stove and believe me i would ride a bicycle
if someone would make a cute little bug bike
out of a paper clip plastic washers and maybe
a rubber band plus don t forget 4 pedals

bearbee said...

Sloanasaurus said...Soon people will find it cheaper to heat the old fashion way - the use of a fireplace or wood stove.

Weren't cow chips used in rural areas in the old days.

Why not human chips. Alternative energy just waiting for some stimulus.

Henry said...

Is baby poop really as stinky as they say?

Doesn't bother me a bit. Which is why my wife married me, so she says. (The compost is also my job.)

Breastfed babies don't smell a bit. Even when they start rice and pears and such, the poop is nothing to worry about. Meat and milk is what turns poop bad.

However, newborn infants produce this stuff called meconium which is like fecal tar. That stuff is nasty. But it only happens once.

Joe said...

Is baby poop really as stinky as they say?

It's not just the stink, but the volume. It simply amazes you that that much stuff can come out of the baby. Then they puke and amaze you even more.

My new breastfed granddaughter has the stinkiest farts and poops you can imagine. My daughter's answer is that it must be genetics from dad.

Host with the Most said...

The NYT was actually creating a forum for a discussion. Imagien that. What they "want" is intelligent discussion.

The New York Times wants no such thing. Look at the people they ask to participate in the discussions: 95% are political liberals, offering the same liberal solutions from each one's expertise.

The day the New York Times lets in someone like me with a non-liberal-mainstream point of view to their forum is the day they prove they want a real discussion. Until then, enjoy the smoke they're blowing up your willing ass.

You lose, whiny boy. Sorry your Times worship was interrupted.

vbspurs said...

Bearbea, wow. That site, PoopReport.com, is a treasure trove of info. Thank you!

The NYT's injunctions notwithstanding, I am constantly in search of the fluffiest, softest, biggest roll of loo paper imaginable.I used to use Charmin Ultra many years ago, but something happened, and that brand became less fluffy. Now I'm into Quilted Northern, with Angel Soft as an alternate.

Don't laugh. At least Americans have nice names for TP rolls.

In Brazil, the fluffiest is called "Snob".

In Sweden, Krapp.

Confusingly, though, Spain has a liquid detergent called Colon Plus.

Cheers,
Victoria

Host with the Most said...

Or as Johnny Carson once remarked when holding a copy of the New York Times on the Tonight Show:

Oh look - it's printed on "cushy" paper.

Bruce Hayden said...

Is baby poop really as stinky as they say?

MM got it. It depends on what they ate, and that depends on their age. The result is that they start with just eating milk, which does not generate very smelly diapers. Then, as they get into solid food, their shit starts to stink.

So, if you start with a new baby (preferably your own), you don't really notice the smell as the diapers get progressively smellier as they baby grows up and start eating real food.

Then, you come back to it, years later, maybe as a grandparent, and whoo, diapers can be rank.

TitusVirtualHug2U said...

Do women really have vaginal farts or Varts as they are called?

What are those like?

Beth said...

They'll have to pry my Charmin with Aloe out of my cold, dead hands.

vbspurs said...

In Cuba, for years, the only use for the official rags the government calls newspapers down there; has been as toilet paper.

One of the saddest sights I've ever seen in my life, is when I went to Cuba on a mercy mission with my ex-boyfriend (his grandpa was dying).

I saw an enormous queue of people in front of this latch-window stand, and approached to see what they were selling in the land where private entrepreneurship is technically banned.

To my surprise, it was an official government "store" where every Cuban presented a rations booklet to get their 1 kilo of sugar, 2 kilos of rice, and so on, every month. That is when the government had any in stock. If they didn't, too bad for you and yours.

That day they had just gotten in a batch of toilet paper rolls. You'd think Santa had come to town, they looked so happy. Most had to rely on their relatives in Miami to send them care-packages with vitamins, underwear and TP rolls.

What a sad sad system.

No doubt the NYT would approve this rationing of TP rolls...

MadisonMan said...

Joe, I would blame your daughter's diet for her kid's gas and smells.

It's always the mother's fault.

ron st.amant said...

Since I've been a stay-at-home Dad for both my daughters, I've changed more diapers that you can imagine. Joe is right- it's the volume, and when they are small and start kicking and moving you have to be quick to avoid a toxic spill :) The good part with daughters is you don't have to worry about dodging being sprayed with the firehose!

As to trees-
Trees absorb CO2 out of the air and produce O2. Some trees are more important to the process than others. Tropical trees, which North America has little of, are the ones that produce the most CO2.
They do produce CO2 as well but it less than they absorb. The other factor is the balance of absorption to production of CO2 is better when a tree is at maturity. So when you remove a tree in its adulthood, and replant the balance tilts heavily to production of CO2 since young trees will produce more than it absorbs. Where many environementalists go wrong is defending old growth trees that tip the scale back to production of CO2 to absorption. So if you want to make the most of the benefits of trees we should depopulate trees in their old age and replant since the CO2 levels are comparable and we'll reduce levels for longer periods with mature trees. This WOULD require better control of logging, and increased engineering techniques to get the most of the tree taken down.

vbspurs said...

Thanks for all the baby poop insight!

And Titus Varts are surprising. They happen infrequently, mostly when one is lying down, escaping in a little trickle of air that is half-ticklish.

Not that I would know, or anything.

Bruce Hayden said...

This tree thing is one of the reasons that you know that the environmental wackos and the Global Warming people are into it more as a religion than as science.

After all, those same NYT readers who are giving up on toilet paper, may also be the same people who are buying the planting of new trees as their indulgences for their huge houses or private jets (in the form of carbon credits).

Yes, that is right. One of the major sources of carbon credits is the growing of trees.

AlphaLiberal said...

The toilet paper goes into the sanitary sewers and the ultimate fate varies.

Here in Madison we have a pretty advanced treatment system where the sewage is treated in anaerobic digesters that produce methane which is burned in generators, producing CO2. There are, also, solids produced.

So, some of the toilet paper carbon winds up going back into the atmosphere whence it came. Some is in the solids which are applied to fields as a fertilizer.

AlphaLiberal said...

Bruce Hayden:
This tree thing is one of the reasons that you know that the environmental wackos and the Global Warming people are into it more as a religion than as science.

You said that but didn't back it up with anything. Maybe you can't.

Look at a tree. Where do you suppose those tons of wood came from (both above ground and below ground)?

From carbon from the atmosphere. By the magic of photosynthesis. It's truly a wondrous thing.

Do you have some better way to remove carbon from the atmosphere?

chickenlittle said...

And Titus Varts are surprising. They happen infrequently, mostly when one is lying down, escaping in a little trickle of air that is half-ticklish.

Peefing is even rarer, and is probably a warning sign for medical attention.
I think peefing is probably an urban legend, sort of like vaginal squirting.

ElcubanitoKC said...

vbspurs said...
[...]

That day they had just gotten in a batch of toilet paper rolls. You'd think Santa had come to town, they looked so happy. Most had to rely on their relatives in Miami to send them care-packages with vitamins, underwear and TP rolls.

What a sad sad system.

No doubt the NYT would approve this rationing of TP rolls...

12:47 PM


It must have been in El Vedado or Miramar. In El Diezmero, where I lived, we stopped seeing rationed toilet paper in the mid '80s. And even before that, it was a very rare occasion when it actually came.

On the other hand, the newspapers in this country leave a lot of ink residue behind. I haven't seen any foreign one do the same, not even in Cuba.

We may have to rethink white underwear...

Hoosier Daddy said...

This is a really shitty thread.

reader_iam said...

Meat and milk is what turns poop bad.

Hmmm. Not so sure about that.

vbspurs said...

This would accomplish two big leftist goals: disarming the US and reducing human "pressure" on the biosphere.

Not just leftist goals, but Wahhabist ones, which are ultra-conservative.

And thus we see when you list so far to one side, that you meet up with your exact counterparts on the other.

vbspurs said...

El Vedado! Wow, you are good, Ernie.

ironrailsironweights said...

Do women really have vaginal farts or Varts as they are called?

They're more commonly called queefs.

Peter

vbspurs said...

This is a really shitty thread.

Leftist groups, ahead of the DNC in Denver, warned fellow protestors that cops would be using the infamous (and totally bogus) Brown Note weapon, which sends an infrasound wave making the person lose bowel control.

Defecate 68.

ElcubanitoKC said...

Let's stick to solids. Once you go into gases, there is no coming back to the topics

ElcubanitoKC said...

vbspurs said...
El Vedado! Wow, you are good, Ernie.

1:12 PM


I lived down there too long...

Henry said...

Hmmm. Not so sure about that.

Just my experience. Protein seemed to trigger a change in output.

Hoosier Daddy said...

They're more commonly called queefs.

Heh...I didn't want to be the first to say it.

AJ Lynch said...

PatCa said:

"Why don't we bomb ourselves back to the Stone Age? This would accomplish two big leftist goals: disarming the US and reducing human "pressure" on the biosphere."

Althouse this is the best comment of the week!

Peter V. Bella said...

You can't wipe your ass on line — though, God knows, some people have tried. We need toilet paper! Soft fluffy toilet paper. Leave me alone!

Damn AA, I just spit coffee on the pooch and he does not look happy.

If the NYT was serious, they would cease publishing and go totally on line. The NYT is like the rest of the so called libs- do as they say not as they do.

If it was up to the Global warming sects and AlGoracle we would be living as Luddites.

madawaskan said...

Ya- could we sell SDI as a global warming initiative?

How about getting them to care about the Iranian question and wiping Israel off the face of the map...

Think about all the damage to the environment people!

vbspurs said...

Heh...I didn't want to be the first to say it.

I had never heard of the term, "queefs". But on Wikipedia-ing, I am reminded that they are called fanny farts (or FFs) in the UK.

Which, of course, makes no sense to North Americans since what's so special about specifically mentioning the fanny when talking about farts. That's where they come from!

...and now you know why we Brits consider the term "fanny pack" to be really crude.

madawaskan said...

You know in that nuclear reactor-I'm sure they are using corporate water.

XWL said...

Obama will pay to have everyone's house retrofitted with these on every toilet, it's shovel ready and environmentally friendly, plus it will be very stimulating.

Chip Ahoy said...

OK, let me get this straight. The NYT wrote something again?

Ron said...

Why doesn't The Bible offer crapping tips?

Oh, Vic, don't give Titus the chance to talk about loaves and fishes!

Sofa King said...

Do you have some better way to remove carbon from the atmosphere?


Lithium hydroxide.

Or, failing that, phytoplankton.

hdhouse said...

There was a nice joke in the movie Prairie Home Campanion...(which the GO Pee r's on this blog probably missed as it didn't run on the Military Channel)..

The fellow went to a gathering where there were door prizes. He won a toilet brush. A week passed and one of his friends met up with him and asked him how he liked his prize to which he replied that he still preferred toilet paper.

Hoosier Daddy said...

...and now you know why we Brits consider the term "fanny pack" to be really crude.

Last year the family and I were in Disneyworld, Epcot Center to be specific and I was talking with a lovely girl from Gloucester and we both got a chuckle over how many different meanings words can have in a common language.

Hoosier Daddy said...

That's actually an old joke hd.

ElcubanitoKC said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ElcubanitoKC said...

hdhouse, I love The Prairie Home Companion, both the movie and the weekly show which I listen to every saturday!

The day you take your head out of your ass, to keep with the theme of the thread, you will realize that you are not smarter, more artistic, or have better taste than anyone just because you vote Democrat and elected this Idiot in Chief. That day, you shall be free.

vbspurs said...

I never miss the tales from Lake Woebegone either.

chickenlittle said...

Sofa King said:
Lithium hydroxide

yeah, like that's cheap and plentiful:

2 Li + 2 H2O → 2 LiOH + H2

Q: How is lithium metal produced?
A: electrolytically

Just another argument for nuclear energy.

William said...

Perhaps Althouse commenters are held together not in their political sympathies but because we are all anally fixated. I feel kind of sheepish in admitting that I find this a fascinating topic. I have read all the comments in this thread....Fluffy toilet paper, while not in the class of microwavable bacon and the tv remote control, is one of those things that justifies civilization. There is simply no down side to fluffy toilet paper. Civilized people are pro fluffy toilet paper and anti-cannibalism....Baby poop, however, inspires ambivalent feelings. I have heard young mothers so besotted by their maternal feelings that they claim baby shit is cute. These depraved women claim that their baby's colon is so clean and fresh and new that the shit created by these babies is also fresh and clean and new.

Sofa King said...

Hey, he said "better," not "cheaper."

Hoosier Daddy said...

hdhouse, I love The Prairie Home Companion, both the movie and the weekly show which I listen to every saturday!

The day you take your head out of your ass...


Don't assume it's not the same bodypart.

vbspurs said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Matt Eckert said...

I always thought that the reason we elected Obama was because his shit did not stink?

vbspurs said...

I have heard young mothers so besotted by their maternal feelings that they claim baby shit is cute.

Huh. Must be the same phenomenon that makes me clap and laugh at my little dog when he makes a doodoo on the lawn.

(I've just opened up this topic to dog poop talk, haven't I?)

reader_iam said...

I'd talk about when I first experienced "A Prairie Home Companion," but that would date me.

hdhouse: Where on earth do you **get** these assumptions of yours?

Great White Father George said...

Somewhat off topic, yet somehow apropos:

"A little old lady once asked Faulkner, "Mr. Faulkner, I understand that authors always write themselves into their books. In Sanctuary, which character are you?"

"Madam," said Faulkner, "I was the corncob."

According to Roy Blount, Jr.

(The whole book is on-line at Scribners.)

Seven Machos said...

The little people also need to give up their cars, their washing machines and dryers, their air conditioning, and their air travel.

We cannot have millions of people sharing these luxuries with us. It could damage the environment.

Environment as new reason for your serfdom people. Think about it. There will always be a reason.

vbspurs said...

(The whole book is on-line at Scribners.)

Hmm, I don't see it anywhere at Simon & Schuster's site (which is the parent company).

NOR, interestingly enough, is ANY William Faulkner novel available on the Kindle.

- Incidentally, got my Kindle 2 on Tuesday. It's nice, but I think I prefer my Kindle 1 (!) -

ElcubanitoKC said...

Downside to the Kindle:

You won't be able to use it as toilet paper when the revolution takes hold...unless you can, in which case, massive props to you...

ElcubanitoKC said...

Btw, Vics, that was a general comment, not directly specifically at you.

vbspurs said...

Environment as new reason for your serfdom people. Think about it. There will always be a reason.

Anyone who saw how apparatchiki lived in Soviet times, need not wonder about this. They had dachas, traveled around the world, wore Dior perfume and Levis, whilst the proleteriat were forced to reject the entire bourgeois cannon.

This is why San Fran Nan lectures us to use more rubbers, refusing to open up ANWR so as to protect the environment, whilst having a porchload of kids and jetting around to the Bay area.

Orlin said...

You can't wipe your ass on line — though, God knows, some people have tried.

You haven't read the Huffington Post lately, have you!

bearbee said...

"Madam," said Faulkner, "I was the corncob."

UGH!! I recall the incident in the book.....

ElcubanitoKC said...

Orlin, the HuffPo is pure crap, no paper involved.

chickenlittle said...

@ElCubanito-lolling at your 2:41

traditionalguy said...

The best idea I can think of is for the NYT readers to set up a Toilet Users Offset Credit, Cap and Trade system. The selfish over users like our own Titus will pay thru the nose (or some body part) and the anal retentive and constipated commenters (a/k/a the Full of Shit Posters) will save money and save the planet too. How exciting a thought. The days of the careless shitheads over-crapping upon the Good little boys' clean earth without paying for absolution will be over. But how much more of this "CO2 is bad" shit can ALGORE and friends shovel that the American people will eat?

vbspurs said...

Irony: Reading this blogpost on your laptop or Kindle in the bathroom.

LordSomber said...

"What's more important: printed newspaper — I can read the news on line — or soft fluffy toilet paper?"

Depends™.

blogging cockroach said...

ugh
all this fixation as william sez
don t admit to it william
always act superior
interested in bathroom humor
moi
who do you think i am titus
well don t say i didn t try to change
the subject a while back to fun little
insect bicycles but did anyone respond with
a cute little picture or did chip animate it
no
you ve been going on and on
for 127 comments about poop
well i m a cockroach and even i know
not to eat shit which is better than
the republicans are doing just now

Cedarford said...

The recycling movement started in the 70s and was already obsolete at the time because most paper production from forestry was already sustained yield.
Then Nixon's EPA, back when the EPA did things of consequence rather than demanding we spend 3 times the money to clean up an industry's remaining 1% of pollution - really cleaned up the paper mill industry.

We are left with a brainless urge to recycle instead of using a:

1. A self-renewing product.
2. That comes from the only true closed loop carbon cycle industry.
3. That uses far less fossil fuel than what it costs to collect, transport and reprocess used paper.
4. That produces product with less pollution from "virgin wood" than what it takes to chemically bleach, remove coatings, and de-acidify recovered cellulose fiber.

And we are told the great 70s thinking on recycling is not just saving renewable trees, corn stalks from being planted, but that less carbon from paper will make it into landfills and be sequestered.

[Note: in certain urban environments, like LA or SF, recyling makes sense because tree-scarce nations like China use it to make boxes to send us new ChinaStuff sold at ChinaMart. And we have to stuff the shipping containers going back to Asia with something!]
In the NYTimes area though, scrap paper transport costs to Asia are too high. So piles of unwanted paper accumulate unless some company buys it to falsely proclaim how "green" they are. Or some group gets a tax subsidy to lower costs of collection, sorting, reprocessing.

Otherwise, in the NYC Metro area, "recyclable paper" goes to the same trash to energy plants from their "green-friendly" recycling set asides in municipalities as the regular, unsorted trash goes to.

dbp said...

traditionalguy said...
The best idea I can think of is for the NYT readers to set up a Toilet Users Offset Credit, Cap and Trade system


Make that the Users offset Credit, Crap and Trade system.

joewxman said...

Soon people will find it cheaper to heat the old fashion way - the use of a fireplace or wood stove. The trouble with that is it actually uses more carbon per capita than gas or electric.

Not here in Nassau county in the peoples republic of the state of new york. The county just passed an energy tax on firewood. It joins neighboriing suffolk county in taxing heating oil, firewood, nat gas, etc etc.

As per the rough stuff, anyone who went to public school in new york city is used to wiping their ass with sandpaper. It toughens you up.

pst314 said...

"Why doesn't The Bible offer crapping tips?"

"Take the case of Jeroboam. 'I will cut off from Jeroboam him that pisseth against the wall.' It was done. And not only was the man that did it cut off, but everybody else.'
...
'Thou shalt have a paddle upon thy weapon; and it shall be, when thou wilt ease thyself abroad, thou shalt dig therewith, and shalt turn back and cover that which cometh from thee'."
--Letters From The Earth by Mark Twain, Letter 10

pst314 said...

"Downside to the Kindle: You won't be able to use it as toilet paper when the revolution takes hold."

Except that leftists always publish lots of material that is only useful as asswipe. (In fact they publish nothing else.)

pst314 said...

Bear: "Does poo stick to your fur?"
Rabbit: "No."
Bear: "Cool." (wipes himself with the rabbit)

Have I discovered a use for annoying eco-freaks, or is this too unkind? :-D

vbspurs said...

On the other hand, the newspapers in this country leave a lot of ink residue behind. I haven't seen any foreign one do the same, not even in Cuba.

That is also true in the UK! I wonder what kind of ink mixture American papers use, to make it rub off like that.

Kurt said...

Jason (the commenter) beat me to it: this is just a ploy by the NYT to increase circulation, since the newspaper isn't good for too much else these days. Or maybe it's just a ploy to sell more New York Times stock, which, last time I checked, was selling for less than the Sunday edition.

AllenS said...

I'll give you my toilet paper when you take it from my cold, dead, stinky hands!

rhhardin said...

I heat with computers.

ElcubanitoKC said...

Vics, I think they use soy based ink. May be more "natural" and less pollutant, but it gets everywhere. I hate it...

Jeanine said...

I say let a lefty envirokook shake their right hand with a Bedouin. Then we'll see how far this toilet paper mystery goes.