December 2, 2008

"Substitute any intransitive verb for 'blog,' and you have some pretty good life advice."

Says Gordon Smith, quoting me... and setting up what I think is a nice challenge to think of some intransitive verbs to create advice that Gordon might not rubber-stamp.

61 comments:

Meade said...

If you want to cheat, cheat. Otherwise, don't.

Meade said...

lie
rob
rape
plunder
torture
terrorize

hdhouse said...

there is an old story about otto klemperer, the conductor, who would interrupt rehearsals with long-winded and sometimes well of the mark monologues. Tabato, the oboist with the Philly orchestra grew tired of this and said "Mr. Klemps..you talka too much".

?

Henry said...

age

rhhardin said...

Advice gatekeeping is needed.

Ken Stalter said...

If you want to obfuscate, obfuscate. Otherwise, don't.

ricpic said...

A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do
Whether or not he wants to;
But whatever it is a man's gotta do
Is easy if he wants to.

Mary said...

abort

Not good "life" advice.

Henry said...

If you want to scratch, scratch. Otherwise, don't.

Henry said...

blink
hiccup
itch
dream

ricpic said...

If you want to obfuscate, obfuscate. Otherwise, don't.

Eschew Obfuscation*



*Actually saw this on a bumper sticker recently. So jealous.

Eli Blake said...

If you want to breathe, breathe. Otherwise don't.

hdhouse said...

ahhh...so, if you want to "talka" then "talka"

Darcy said...

If you want to hate, hate. Otherwise, don't.

dbp said...

If you wanta sing out, sing out.

chickenlittle said...

If you want to die, die.

Not good life advice.

dbp said...

...otherwise don't.

Chris said...

This is getting very philosophical. I tried the converse "If you don't want to x, don't." and still found myself in a quandry. Thank Evolution for my ability to make exceptions to rules.

AllenS said...

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times" -- Charles Dickens

Make up your mind, Charles. Don't obfuscate.

michael farris said...

Pretty easy,

If you want to vegetate, vegetate. Otherwise, don't.

If you want to shrink, shrink. Otherwise, don't.

If you want to combust, combust. Otherwise, don't.

jimbino said...

shit
shower
shave

Lem said...

Want to be "neutral" be neutral

Otherwise, dont. ;)

Meade said...

masticate
bloviate
regurgitate
litigate

Michael_H said...

If you want to fuck, fuck. Otherwise, don't.

Pogo said...

If you want to substitute an intransitive verb for 'blog,' substitute an intransitive verb for 'blog'. Otherwise, don't.

Michael_H said...

If you want to drink, drink. Otherwise, don't.

Smoke.
Fart.
Eat.
Snore.
Hallucinate.
Bitch.
Shoot.
Inhale.
Snort.
Suck.
Swallow.
Kvetch.
Jump.
Whip.
Fondle.
Wallpaper.
Paint.
Restrain.
Think.
Vote.
Leave.
Post.

Meade said...

Wait just a doggone minute. Fuck can't be intransitive. Or can it? I guess... maybe it can. But how? I don't know. Aw who cares? Fuck it.

Darcy said...

Plagiarize. *shiver*

Windbag said...

Wait just a doggone minute. Fuck can't be intransitive. Or can it? I guess... maybe it can. But how? I don't know. Aw who cares? Fuck it.

It is many things to many people.

Chip Ahoy said...

lie
rob
rape
plunder
torture
terrorize

are all transitive.

so is litigate

Wallpaper and vote also take an object.

Plagiarizing has a victim.

Darcy said...

Interesting, Chip Ahoy. I was wondering on some of them. But the online dictionary said plagiarize could be intransitive.

Chip Ahoy said...

Somebody gets plagiarized, no?

Chip Ahoy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chip Ahoy said...

OT (fixed a garbled sentence ^^^)

You know what kills me? When a politician takes the speaker's stand and to emphasize a point they make that hand motion that looks like they're pushing in a thumbtack. It seems so impotent. That makes me dismiss the point they're tacking.

Pogo said...

If you want to thumbtack, thumbtack. Otherwise, don't. You weenie.

chickenlittle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Meade said...

If you want a weenie, have a weenie. Otherwise, don't play with your food.

chickenlittle said...

(fixed a link)

Transitive vs. intransitive is easy if you've ever seriously studied a foreign language.

I just read the coolest thing on Wiki:

In more technical terms, an intransitive verb has only one argument (its subject), and hence has a valency of one.

link

That's a totally cool use of the word "valency." As a chemist, the term has a very special meaning. I can see it vividly now for grammar too.

Darcy said...

Well, I don't want to clutter up this thread further, but I guess we should get this right! This is what the online dictionary said about "plagiarize":

intransitive verb
: to commit literary theft : present as new and original an idea or product derived from an existing source

Meade said...

If you want to link, link. Otherwise, you're really not much of a blogger now are you?

blake said...

It's very Zen.

When hungry, eat. When tired, sleep.

When bored, blog.

Or maybe we could get a little Yoda here: "Do or do not. There is no try."

If you want to do not, do not. Otherwise don't.

Chip Ahoy said...

The strain of differentiating transitive from intransitive verbs has caused me to prepare (transitive) a chicken breast scaloppini, which is another way of saying flattened.

Meade said...

blake, couldn't that last one be:

If you don't want to do, do not do. Otherwise, don't not do.

Will that do? If not, try to make do 'cause I'm done.

Chip Ahoy said...

I meant to say scallopini, up there ^^^.

Trooper York said...

Do on to others before they do it to you.

Or something like that.

chickenlittle said...

a chicken breast scaloppini, which is another way of saying flattened.

That reminded me of this. Maybe it's a species thing.

Darcy said...

Mmm...scallopini. Intransitive who?

Michael_H said...

Scaloppini?

If you want to eat, eat. If not, donate.

Darcy said...

Yeah. If you want to cook, cook. But please share.

Trooper York said...

Anna Maria Alberghetti....get in a taxi honey.....

chickenlittle said...

The childless are genetically intransitive.

Trooper York said...

Obscure Mary Tyler Moore referance.

Michael said...

People here bitch too much about Obama.

Joe M. said...

lie
rob
rape
plunder
torture
terrorize

are all transitive.


Chip: I may rob you, torture you, and rape you--and I might or might not plunder you and terrorize you whilst I plunder and terrorize--but I can assure you as to this: never will I lie you.

Trooper York said...

Nanny Bloomberg has just announced that the MTA is raising the intransitive fare $1 a ride.

TitusLyposomalDisorder said...

Absolutely love Bloomberg.

A true diva.

jdeeripper said...

"If you want to procrastinate, procrastinate. Otherwise, don't."

Freeman Hunt said...

If you want to do not, do not. Otherwise don't.

Then I guess you really shouldn't.

Freeman Hunt said...

Would "If you want to, do it" really make good life advice? I think you'd end up with a sucky life. I suppose it depends on how you defined "want."

bearbee said...

blog bumper stickers.

Henry said...

Yodahouse version:

If you want to do, do. There is no try.