November 8, 2008

"One of the Reasons for the miserable Decline of the Republican Party's Fortunes may be that his Spirit was injur'd by the Grip of Mrs. Reagan."

Ah! In the early hours of the morning, our ghostly visitor, Sir Archy, appeared and commented on the post about Barack Obama's first press conference. Obama said -- and has apologized for saying -- "I have spoken to all of them who are living," he responded. "I didn’t want to get into a Nancy Reagan thing about doing any séances."
To Professor Althouse.

Dear Madam,

As the Ghost of a Gentleman, dead these 260 Years and more, I may tell you that in Life, I was importun'd and bother'd by Ideots & Bores enough. Whilst no Man may know the Fate that awaits him when he crosses the Litchgate, 'twas not unreasonable to expect that in Death I should not have been pester'd by those remaining behind in the sunlit Realms of Life.

Alas! Madam, it has proven not to be so.

Altho' there are innumerable spiritual Beings to be found everywhere on the Astral Plane, we commonly have little Intercourse with each other. Nay, 'tis the Living, with their Seances, Spiritualism, and, dare I say, Witchcraft, who are constantly clamouring for the Attention of the Dead. You should know that many a Time I have been lost in ghostly Thought; when suddenly my Head is knock'd on the Underside of a Table, as if someone had grasp'd my Waistcoat and forc'd me into this ridiculous Pose. A Company of foolish Persons is commonly seated at the Table; whilst a puff'd up Buffoon at the Head groans clos'd-Eyed Incantations of a Strength just sufficient to drag me from my Meditations, but with no further Power to permit me to entertain or instruct those present.

To undertake a Journey from the World of the Dead to the Land of the Living is uncommonly difficult, attended with much Fatigue and Uncertainty. For the Living to fling us thither by our ghostly Coattails is a very hazardous Operation, not to be undertaken lightly. Many a sensitive Ghost has been utterly ruin'd by such scandalous Exposure.

As shewn by the occasional Remarks you have giv'n me leave to publish, Madam, in this, your Theatre of Topicks (as I call it), I am very obliged to be thus allow'd to help improve the Publick in my small Way. I flatter myself that I am, within my paltry Compass, a Ghost of some Parts & Application, and so am enliven'd and invigourated by such Exertions. Yet, there are many others who would vanish like evanescent Smoak were they to be us'd thus.

That Mrs. Reagan were engag'd in Seances, contacting the Spirit of her late Husband, is a Thing not to be lightly believ'd, and, indeed, to be dreaded; for, as vigorous as President Reagan was in Life, his long Years of Decline weakened his Spirit. The Health of President Reagan's Shade could be in some Doubt, if Mrs. Reagan had grasp'd too firmly his ghostly Hand at her supposed Seances. One of the Reasons for the miserable Decline of the Republican Party's Fortunes may be that his Spirit was injur'd by the Grip of Mrs. Reagan. Instead of a beneficent & benign Presence o'erspreading a Benediction upon his Party, there perhaps remains only a shatter'd & withdrawn Remnant of one claw'd at by the Living with too much Desperation.

Mrs. Clinton seems to have used the Ghost of Mrs. Roosevelt with greater Subtlety. If Mrs. Roosevelt continues her White House hauntings for the benefit of Mrs. Obama, we shall have strong Proof that Mrs. Clinton understands and perhaps inspires the Dead (altho' the Democrats had little Need of 'em lately as Electors).

Praying that you shall continue to inspire both the Living and, in my Case, the Dead, I am,

Madam,

Your humble & obt. Servant,

Sir Archy

15 comments:

Donald Douglas said...

I like the "Your humble & obt. Servant" ... now that's some vortex!

Ron said...

I sometimes think Sir Archy is an Althouse nom du blog, allowing you some Crystal Blue Bloviation in non-law proffy fashion. You put on a hat with a feather when you write these comments don't you?

chickenlittle said...

Tag: "velt"?

Surely the Roose is on the loose somewhere

campy said...

"How Althouse Will Someday Lose Me" : too much Sir Archy.

Darcy said...

In which Sir Archy does nothing to dispel my crush on him.

Ann Althouse said...

chickenlittle said..."tag: "velt"? Surely the Roose is on the loose somewhere."

LOL. (And fixed.) Eleanor roose from the dead and was a ghostly presence.

Bissage said...

Right now I’m supposed to be on wikipedia seeing if I should connect the cable box using component video, composite video, S-video, DVI, HDMI or XYZPDQ. So far I’ve ruled out the RF bypass or something like that.

But what am I doing instead?

I’m taking the time to type out a comment to say thank you to Sir Archy for a ghostly visit that brightened my otherwise drab Saturday afternoon.

Thank you!

Trooper York said...

Well if you connect the electrodes to you nipples and plug it in, you will get a thrill.

Or so I have heard.

Trooper York said...

Then if you stick your penis in the auto/visual jack, you will get the Spice Channel.

Ron said...

Trooper just don't try and straighten out your "Rabbit Ears". Commenters have been banned for less!

Bissage said...

My last comment was at 1:43.

It is now 2:02.

Got my answer in the meantime.

Wikipedia rocks!

See ya.

I'm off to the store!

amba said...

I get him mixed up with the cockroach.

Ron said...

Amba, Sir Archy is the one with the powdered wig, and the cockroach is the one with the Moe Howard haircut!

amba said...

I wonder if they aren't the same person, though, and "Archy" is a clue.

blogging cockroach said...

well all i can say is that there are some
advantages to being a cockroach
one of them is i don t have to worry
about my hair or clothes anymore

having the transmigrated soul of a composer
i can look back at all the troubles i had
when i was a music professor
to buy the right suits and keep my shirts ironed etc
in those days they paid us a pittance
and so i drove a 56 studebaker
but had to wear a suit on campus every day
which cost me as much as the damn studebaker
i hated clothes
not to mention haircuts
i was actually kinda glad to go bald
except maybe for the combover
which frightened away my female students
damn
but now i don t worry about any of that
and other than molting now and then
life is simple
and i sure don t want to mess it up
with a powdered wig

but having spent a little time
on the astral plane myself
i can tell you archy s right about seances etc
you just settle in and some idiot
comes and bothers you
about something really stupid
reminded me of office hours
anyway one day my ex wife showed up
wondering where the key to the
safe deposit box was
now some exes hire private detectives
but mine hired a medium
tells you a lot
anyway i screamed let me out of here
let me slouch somewhere to be born
and presto the next ticket said

cockroach
cambridge mass

so here i am
maybe i ll tell you about the safe
deposit box next time