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The white bread was a good choice!"The gelatinous horror of it all!"?Woo hoo!
"It kind of tastes like nothing"Egg Salad is like the not-yet declared candidate: you can impose whatever flavors you want on them."No amount of wine can make up for the horror"Really?"This whole experience is like a sad pathetic waste"Yes but, it sure is fun to watch!
I think Maxine and her ilk owe you another $200.
Very nice video quality. The wine is a lovely deep Burgundy color. Please share your recipe for egg salad with us, lol. I believed you when you said you already ate a sandwich, but for posterity you had to get it recorded. You're cute!
Finished the vlog.I'm off to make an egg salad sandwich!
Yummy! I approve.
Oh, I am not lying. There was a sandwich before that. I chopped up red onion, celery, and red pepper, and mixed that up with the mayonnaise first. Salt and pepper. I then added two chopped hard boiled eggs and mixed it up. I put iceberg lettuce on the sandwich. It wasn't bad, but it was more bread-y and veggie-y than egg-y or mayonnaise-y.
I do think you should have cut it caddy-cornered. That changes everything on a peanut butter sandwich.
How about a big juicy steak now?Our treat.
The world is, indeed a better place. Poor Ann. That's very, very funny. Thank you for eating that second sandwich. I'm hungry.
I didn't spit it out, but chewing looks awful on camera. I'm surprised people are willing to eat in front of each other now that I've seen it. I went overtime, and had to cut some stuff out. It made perfect sense to cut the bulgy cheeks, etc. Anyway, you know one of the 10 Things I've Never Done was-- is! -- throwing up as a diet method.
And please tell us no amount of money could get you to.
How much would it cost us to get you to consume the old jar of mayo?
Re: real vs. fake mayonnaise - Fake mayonnaise = Miracle Whip.Question answered, you can thank me later.
In this clip, Ann, you channel both Woody Allen and Annie Hall. You could be their love child. You have an interesting tic. Whenever you take a sip of wine, your eyes glance off to the right or left. What do you think that means?The only time you don't do that is the last sip before the clip ends. I'm with you. Egg salad -- blech. Most mayo-based salads -- blech. I'll eat a tuna salad or chicken salad sandwich, but that's it. My mother loves egg salad. Half the time it gives her food poisoning, but does that stop her? No. Which tells me that despite this clip, and the finality of your disdain for egg salad, you will encounter people who will try to force you to eat it til the day you die. Here's how they get you: "You don't like egg salad? You haven't tried MYYY egg salad!"
Congratulations. Thank you.I have to say though that my list of things I want to do before I die is slightly different.But, c'est la vie.SMG
Very funny vlog.All this talk of egg salad has forced me to make and eat egg salad twice today, and there may be a third time yet. I've skipped the mayo though.
It wasn't things she wanted to do before she dies. It was things she'd never done and would only do for money.Yes, thanks.My humor device needs repairs.SMG
I feel bad for contributing to this calamitous enterprise now! "May one be pardon'd and retain the offence? O wretched state! O egg'd soul, that, struggling to be free, Art more engaged!"So you never told John or Chris "you only don't like it because you haven't tried it," or you're just acknowledging that it's weak? ;) I got told that a lot; it was bunk then and it's bunk now.d
With regard to the final observation about what else the money could have been used for - look at it this way. You're a lot more liberal than many of your regular commenters. You're very likely to disagree with some of the causes we'd give money to. So look at it this way: likely as not, money that was safely sponged up by the great egg salad challenge is money that's no longer available to be given to a cause that you wouldn't agree with. So in a way, you're providing a public service.(Tongue firmly in cheek)
That was brilliant.The world is indeed a better place with that video in it.
Hairybuddha wonders if this is what happened to eggagog? THE CREEPS MADE EGG SALAD! THE HAMMERS BROUGHT THE MAYONNAISE BUT IT WASN'T REAL!THE FRYING PANS HIT THE HAMMERS! THE SPIDER-JERKS THREW UP!
"I can'tbelieve Iate thewhole thing!"Your reward:WOMAN EATING STEAK!!!!!!!!
And there was no hump[in'] or bump[in'] involved in Sam-I-Am's eatin' (or not).Just for the record.
I thought that glass of "whine" was an appropriate choice. :-) Actually, the key to good egg salad is mustard. Not a lot, but enough to make it a bit pungent. Salt and pepper help, too. Heck, let's start another $200 fund to get you to make and eat deviled eggs! ..bruce..
Whoops! Wrong link!WOMAN EATING STEAK! (She can't pass up a challenge.)
I have to say your edits looked like you may have spit out some of the bites but I'll take your word for it. I hope you did not buy the out-of-date mayo at the Regent Market Coop. I do not like egg salad either and you'd have to pay me a lot to eat it, it was hard for me to watch you eat it.
I'm still waiting for the analysis of the sexual imagery of that vlog. I'm no good at it, but it sure seems like a ripe opportunity. Gelatinous horror indeed.
Jesus, I hope you were just acting, or else you have way too many hang ups. Stick the damn thing in your mouth and eat it.
Well, that's done. Onward and upward.
This is really brilliant.I love how strident you are in the beginning.But why is mayonnaise so strange an addition to the eggs? Mayonnaise has a high proportion of egg.Red wine with egg salad? I wonder if that's recommended. I'll ask the sommelier at Katz's next time I'm there.This reminds me, in a perverse way, of my favorite genre of prurient material: gay-for-pay. Except you seem to enjoy eating the sandwich so much less than those guys enjoy what they're doing...
Finding the 'sexual imagery' contained in this vlog might be a challenge, finding the 'sexual imagery' suggested by this bit from G4 host Olivia Munn, shouldn't be too difficult, however.(guess it's women eating stuff day)(and for equal opportunity 'sexual imagery' let's discuss a really large guitar . . .)And who was the jerk that reminded you about this idea of eating an egg salad for cash, anyway?(oh, wait . . ., nevermind)(and linking to the Munn video shouldn't be construed as a request for a dollar amount suggestion for an Althousian re-creation)
Hellman's won't be buying any ads on your blog. I love the exaggerated expressions of disgust. And the horror of having to eat a second sandwich, on inferior bread. Well done. I can't imagine that the first video was better. The ending was quite nice.
You have an interesting tic. Whenever you take a sip of wine, your eyes glance off to the right or left. What do you think that means?It means she's tasting the wine. Her consciousness has cut her eyes loose and gone into her taste buds.
Mayo for payo.
Mayola.So it's the mayo that's the problem. Thought you were an egg hater.
First, we're all going back in posts to see what Althouse pay project can be contributed to next. :) Secondly, do you really keep a steady back-up supply of mayonnaise in your closet?And lastly, just have to suggest that perhaps the frozen footage and the ironic necessity to down a second sandwich was karma for the comment about fat Texas girls. ;) Just kidding -- your gluttonous display was for the sake of honesty. Well done!
It made perfect sense to cut the bulgy cheeks, etc. That is what I was watching for. You Thursday ruiner. I can't believe you're letting titus3's posts remain.
All I can say is...Pepto-dismal
Your next culinary hurdle in the gelatinous horror category....Rocky Mountain Oysters
Very amusing. I will correct you, however -- Sam-I-Am does not eat the Green Eggs and Ham, he's the one pushing it.
Pity. I suppose the Alka-Seltzer post above bore a direct relationship to having consumed two (two!) samples of the mayo-ovum goulash. Bicarbonate of soda does battle well against the acursed dyspepsia. The correct Pogo character's response to eating said mash is Oog. Double oog with nuts. #
Who taught you how to make egg salad? Way too much "stuff," and not the RIGHT stuff.Egg salad: eggs, mayo, a bit of mustard, salt to taste. The mustard makes it. You should try it again WITH mustard.I love egg salad.
Eggs, real mayo (not too much), dash of Dijon mustard (I like about 1/2 to 1 tsp depending on the number of eggs...NEVER ballpark mustard... gag), chopped capers, finely diced green onions, salt, pepper to taste on sour dough bread and lettuce. White wine, a nice Riesling would go with the egg salad.There you go.....Enjoy.
"You should try it again WITH mustard."$200. Pony up!
This video is completely invalid. Althouse doesn't show the full chewing of the sandwich. The video is cut and edited everytime she chews.Unless we see full mastication, and full chewing, there's no way to prove she didn't cut and spit.Full mastication! And besides, you are supposed to chew your food a MINIMUM of 26 times for proper digestion.I counted, at best 3 chews, before Althouse cuts the video.Full mastication---anything less is fraud!
Best Video-blogging ever.Okay, Ann, how much to see you eat spam? Habaneros? Scrapple? Chitlins?This could be a terrific fund-raiser for your favorite charity - let's see a menu with prices!
$200 ???? Yikes.OK, I'll chip in $50, but NOT Dijon mustard, a good rough mustard like Koscousko (sp?). You know, like a polish or deli mustard. Dark.Nevermind, let me know when you get to NY, you can come over for my wife's deviled eggs. Those babies are the best.
That didn't look like very good egg salad that you held up to the camera. It looked like a goopey mess. You didn't give egg salad a fair hearing. Green onions, mustard and a liberal amount of pepper. And don't mash it into a pulp.If you hate mayo, why do you have 3 jars at home?
I think you actually liked it. If you didn't like it, I believe you would have spent considerable time trying to get the first video working, and you would have chronicled your attempts to do so. That being the case, that was some seriously good acting.
and, since you liked that so much, may I suggest: Egg nog INGREDIENTS: * 2 eggs, beaten well * 3 tbs sugar * 1 tsp vanilla * 1/8 tsp nutmeg, ground * 2 1/3 cups milk PREPARATION:Blend all ingredients together and serve chilled.
The Hellman's people are going to sue Althouse for defamation. It's not their fault she lets her dates expire.If Althouse had any prowess in the Kitchen whatsoever, she would know that you can make your own mayonaisse, very easily, in the Food Processor. Homemade mayonaisse doesn't contain any gels, or gooey gunk. Mayonaisse is actually a festive French delicacy.....the consistency of a sauce.But not when it's out of a jar, and expired---obviously.
Ann Althouse said..."Okay, Ann, how much to see you eat spam? Habaneros? Scrapple? Chitlins?"I'd eat scrapple for nothing! I grew up on the stuff. My father's family is Pennsylvania Dutch. We ate that all the time. It's great.
"If you hate mayo, why do you have 3 jars at home?"I like it on a turkey sandwich. I sometimes make tuna salad. But face it, those jars are so old I have to throw them out, unopened. That doesn't really suggest I'm eating a lot of mayonnaise. Plus, sometimes other people shop and they assume it's a staple and think it should be stockpiled.
"It's not their fault she lets her dates expire."LOL.
That will do. Really.
Get canola oil mayo next time. It's good for you (high in monosaturated fat, which is the good fat). I make a special trip to Whole Foods to get it. I'm sure they'll have it in NYC, sophisticated place that it is. In fact, it's probably the only mayo you're allowed to sell there now.
at the end you mock-rebuke your readers for giving money "to nothin'" when they could have donated it to a charity. Suggestion a) It was your contest, you could have set it up that way. Next time, set it up that way. Suggestion b) Donate the $200 to a charity. It's never to late.
I thought the original reference was to cold eggs. I assume that meant that you've never had a deviled egg? Maybe we could raise another $200 to get you to eat a deviled egg! They go great with red wine.
I grew up eating scrapple, too. Pork roll is another one of those Pennsylvania things that I can't get in Minnesota. Thank God they ship Snyder's pretzels out here.
Hello Law Lady,I really liked your video. I found it by searching for "steak and egg salad" as I planned to make that particular combination on a croissant this evening, along with red wine. Where do you live? I am a 32 yr/old grad student in NYC. I used to write ads, now I'm going to school to become a teacher. I can be reached at email@example.com. j
Ann Althouse said..."It's not their fault she lets her dates expire."LOL.8/10/07 2:49 PMHmm...
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