June 11, 2007

"I was severely depressed and felt as if I was in a cage."

Said Paris Hilton, talking about jail and claiming that it's time for her to stop playing dumb. She might start by realizing that jail is a cage. And that everyone feels terrible about going there.

But I look forward to the new Paris Hilton, the one who says, "Now, I would like to make a difference. ... God has given me this new chance." I just hope this making a difference business doesn't involve adopting children or letting us know what's wrong with the government or... Actually, I might prefer the old Paris Hilton -- minus the drunk driving.

UPDATE: Okay, I allowed myself to be suckered into TiVo'ing "The View." Barbara Walters reports that Hilton said she's 26 and too old to act dumb anymore, that's it been "an act," and that she'd like to offer something better to the "young girls who've looked up to" her. (Did anyone actually look up to her?) "I have become much more spiritual." God has helped her. Elisabeth Hasselbeck approves: "God is there!"

Ah, the cause is not children or political: It's breast cancer or multiple sclerosis. Good choice. Hilton wants to build "a Paris Hilton Playhouse" for sick children. (Sorry, that sounds so wrong.)

She's got a spiritual advisor who apparently told her that "her spirit or soul did not like the way I was being seen and that is why I was sent to jail." (Sounds similar to a psychologist opining that she felt guilty and was seeking punishment.) "God has released me." Joy Behar: "But the judge hasn't."

She's reading books and newspapers. What book? Guess? Of course: "The Secret."

29 comments:

The Drill SGT said...

amazin isn't... Guess her PR agent and lawyers changed the message. now she no longer is hysterial and mental, but rather focused on moving on after this "life changing" event. I think this new Hilton has a better chance of getting out than the old one. Guess they figured out that it was the Judge, not the Sheriff who had the keys to the cell door.

MadisonMan said...

I. Don't. Care.

Mark said...

Maybe she'll go to law school and make the movie Legally Blonde a reality...

vet66 said...

Paris is a product of our society in general and mass media in particular. The Paris story is enacted each day by children who have no roll models beyond Bratz Dolls, Girls Gone Wild videos, and the 'brat pack' of Paris, Lindsay, and Britney.

The icons are falling, as well they should, in an inevitable homage to values, ethics, and morality.

If Paris listens to her spinmeisters instead of taking responsibility for her actions and her future, she will have learned nothing. She is already ) for 1 as she obviously learned nothing after the sex video release. The verdict is still out on this latest 'life changing event'!

Will Paris come out of this tragedy humble and better for the experience or looking for a book deal and a movie about her newly discovered asceticism cum vagina epilogue!

Sloanasaurus said...

She claimed that she didn't want to eat or drink for fear that a guard would snap a cell phone pic of her on the toilet. Apparently, the guards get to watch the inmates in the bathroom.

It seems silly, but she is probably right. What guard making $25 an hour wouldn't want a chance to sell a phone pic of Paris on the potty for $200k.

Pogo said...

Is Paris burnishing?

Bruce Hayden said...

This is what I said a day or so ago:

Some have asked why so many conservatives are showing compassion for Ms. Hilton. At least for me, it is that I hear her pain. She sounds like a five year old being disciplined. The problem is that she isn't five any more, and so the discipline doesn't stop after a stint in her own room for an hour or so. It hurts to discipline the five year old, and it hurts to discipline a woman twenty years older who wasn't disciplined as a five year old, and so is being disciplined that much more harshly now.

The other emotion I feel here is embarrassment, embarrassment for her patents to whom she cried for help. Embarrassment for the public humiliation of being shown to having been abysmal parents for not disciplining their daughter as a five year old, but rather letting her grow into an adult who had no concept of the consequences of her actions.

Addendum: Apparently, when one of her parents was asked about the most important value that they had instilled in her, the response was "loyalty". I can think of several that would have kept her out of jail, and that isn't one of them.

PatCA said...

"She might start by realizing that jail is a cage."

Great line!

Bruce Hayden said...

Unfortunately for Ms. Hilton, there are very good reasons why jailers might want to watch an inmate eat or go to the bathroom. As has been pointed out, actions have consequences, and this is unfortunately one of them.

One could suggest that jailers wouldn't try to sell photos of the other inmates in such a situation, but then, again, those other inmates didn't have the option of hiring a chauffeur or a limo. There are plenty of things that she could have done instead of getting in her car and driving to the store at twice the speed limit, probably impaired, and definitely w/o a license, given her money.

Balfegor said...

I just hope this making a difference business doesn't involve adopting children or letting us know what's wrong with the government or... Actually, I might prefer the old Paris Hilton -- minus the drunk driving.

I'm not particularly sympathetic to Paris Hilton, and am a little surprised at all the people who are sympathetic. But she is being jailed in California's execrable state prisons, notorious for their mismanagement, brutality, incidence of prison rape, and so forth. Not that these are likely to impact her particularly (the worst of it is in the male facilities). But if she became an advocate for improving conditions in and oversight of our prisons, she might be a celebrity advocate for something that really is worth fixing here at home, and something the degenerate political classes in California -- including the former Democratic AG, Lockyer, who cracked jokes about prison rape -- have no particular interest in correcting.

Cedarford said...

Morals in Hollywood are a toss-up. I don't understand them. For some, a single scandal is a firing offense (Isiah Washington says "faggot"), a single early porn loop discovered can kill a career. But a sex tape made without knowledge, major drug bust, or a Charlie Sheen morally bankrupt lifestyle can be career enhancing.

If Paris listens to her spinmeisters instead of taking responsibility for her actions and her future, she will have learned nothing. She is already ) for 1 as she obviously learned nothing after the sex video release. The verdict is still out on this latest 'life changing event'!

Paris's sex tape vaulted her to the highest levels of celibrityhood and "hot property-ness". She learned it was worth a minimum of 20 million bucks to her bottom line. She learned. So did a few other flagging starlets whose "accidental" release of salacious video or pics has boosted some's fortunes.

What can you say? It's a strange industry dominated by money, gays, PC, California values, progressive Jews middle and upper management of the business end. Knowing someone voted for Dubya could be the kiss of death in finding work in town, being pals with Castro a plus, being pals with the PLO a minus. Championing the right political cause at the right time (Communism in the 30s, anti-anti-Communism snitch critics in the 60s, McGovernites in the 70s, and "noted Algore supporter" NOW - your path to being a sought after producer and player goes up)

The same salacious scandal one person does that destroys a career could land another in major film contracts. A soap star caught with a 15 year old boy finished, Roman Polanski caught with another 15-year old given a standing ovation as a persecuted genius.

No rhyme or reason to the place us outsiders can understand.

Cathy Goodwin said...

I would agree with the commentators who pointed out that Paris Hilton really has something to fear. What happened at Abu Ghraib happens every day in US prisons.

It's also true that people will never be treated "equally" in prison. For many prisoners, a 23 day sentence means their job will be gone when they get out, along with rent payments and maybe their families and friends.

Keeping Paris in prison will end up costing the taxpayers a bundle. If she's got a real or imaginary illness, the state will pull out all the stops. They know she can sue. Even prisoners with responsible family members on the outside get treated differently than those who are truly forgotten.

The real issue is: Prisons and jails are outdated institutions. As a society we never ask, "What's the cost-benefit ratio of sending someone away for 90 days vs 5 years vs 10 years? Or sending them away at all?"

But when researchers announce a procedure that will detect cancer early, or a drug that will prolong lives, health policy analysts ask, "What is the cost of saving lives? What is the benefit of keeping someone alive with their family another 90 days to 5 years?"

When you're a victim of a crime, the state help you get revenge.

When you're a victim of your health insurance, and a family member dies because she couldn't afford treatment, the state shrugs.

These are the real stories. They'll go on long after Paris Hilton leaves jail, returns to her wealth and the media find a new story.

Mike said...

"...claiming that it's time for her to stop playing dumb."

20 says she can't do it. As a friend of mine says, "you can't fix stupid."

Anthony said...

Hilton wants to build "a Paris Hilton Playhouse" for sick children.

First thing I thought of: "The Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too."

Thorley Winston said...

Ah, the cause is not children or political: It's breast cancer or multiple sclerosis. Good choice. Hilton wants to build "a Paris Hilton Playhouse" for sick children. (Sorry, that sounds so wrong.)

Life imitating art?

Thorley Winston said...

Some have asked why so many conservatives are showing compassion for Ms. Hilton.

Who are these “conservatives” that are supposedly “showing compassion for [Paris] Hilton”?

Independent George said...

Personally, I'm going to withhold comment until after this shows up on South Park.

Peter Palladas said...

Smart celebrity 'career' move or just too predictable?

How about some high-ranking bozos who refuse to reform, knuckle down and hug lepers?

Where are the real wild ones of old?

"Wanna see me pee? Then cop a load of this suckers!"

Worked for Oliver Reed and we loved him to death and beyond.

World's gone soft.

Finn Kristiansen said...

In response to a commment, I would doubt that Paris is likely to become an advocate for prison reform. And isn't there a distinction between jail and prison in California? She is probably isolated away from others. This is hardly a caged heat, stripped of freedom type of situation, though it's no Hilton hotel either.

Beth said...

Maybe she'll go to law school

She'll have to finish high school first.

Balfegor said...

In response to a commment, I would doubt that Paris is likely to become an advocate for prison reform. And isn't there a distinction between jail and prison in California? She is probably isolated away from others.

Well, there's county jails and the state prison system, and she is in a county jail. I understand that in California, there are also different facilities that the rich can pay to be housed in, if they want, so they don't have to be surrounded by the riff-raff. She apparently did not choose that option (although, reading up on this, she is apparently in a jail used for special inmates). In any event, though, while jails have fewer hardened criminals, as a woman, she'd be surrounded by fewer hardened criminals anyhow, so it's not clear to me that the environment would be markedly different. California's jails are widely criticised for brutality and human rights violations too, just like the prison system proper.

In any event, it's somewhat irrelevant at this point, since she's going to go for shining public attention on some disease or other.

Rich V. said...

Who gives a rats a$$ about Paris Hilton? What has this woman done that amounts to anything? Has she contributed anything concrete to our society? Why are we wasting so much time about a sefish, self-absorbed, spoiled young woman who has done nothing to deserve all of this attention?

We have problems that are far more important to worry about...the four horsemen ride forth and here we are discussing a shallow...anyway let the woman rot where she stands.

Steven said...

Her claim about her seeming dumbness having been "an act" reminds me of Churchill's famous remark in the summer of 1945 when he was turned out of office. His wife said it was a blessing in disguise, and he replied, "At the moment it seems quite effectively disguised." If Paris was putting on an act, it was quite an effective act.

Fen said...

"...claiming that it's time for her to stop playing dumb."

20 says she can't do it. As a friend of mine says, "you can't fix stupid."

Maybe Paris will start another Hollywood trend - rehab for celebrity stupidy.

Perhaps she'll even fund the first center: The Paris Hilton Foundation for Dumb Celebrities: We cured Baldwin, O'Donnel and Streisand.. we can fix you too

Theo Boehm said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Crimso said...

"What happened at Abu Ghraib happens every day in US prisons."

Sweet Mother of God, I hope you're referring to what happened there when the U.S. was in charge and not Saddam.

Fen said...

I hope you're referring to what happened there when the U.S. was in charge and not Saddam.

Most likely. My experience is that people who reference Abu Ghraib aren't really clear on what happened there when Saddam was in charge.

AllenS said...

Cathy Goodwin said...
I would agree with the commentators who pointed out that Paris Hilton really has something to fear. What happened at Abu Ghraib happens every day in US prisons.

I checked out her profile. She claims to be 250 years old.

hdhouse said...

ohhh Sloann and you thought you were gonna slip that $200k pic past us...

Paris has been on the internet for 4-5 years with her bedroom performance (or lack thereof....quick the pietre dish).. few paid for it after the first month. So someone will pay 200k to watch someone take a pee?

What? is the National Review running a contest?