Nude exercisers would be required to put towels down on weight machines and to use disposable seat covers while riding bikes. All machines would be cleaned and disinfected afterward. "We clean them every day anyway"So you're going to need a layer of material between you and the machines. Shouldn't that be pants?
And another thing, nudes might look reasonably okay strolling around in the sunlight or frolicking in a pool, but do you really want to see them straining with weight machines? Remember that old "Seinfeld" episode, the one where he has a girlfriend who's always naked in the apartment:
JERRY: Coughing... naked... It's a turn-off, man.Naked crouching to pick up a heavy weight? Really, really bad and horrible.
GEORGE: Everything goes with naked.
JERRY: When you cough, there are thousands of unseen muscles that suddenly spring into action. It's like watching that fat guy catch a cannonball in his stomach in slow motion.
GEORGE: Oh, you spoiled, spoiled man. Do you now how much mental energy I expend just trying to picture women naked?
JERRY: But the thing you don't realize is that there's good naked and bad naked. Naked hair brushing, good; naked crouching, bad.
MELISSA: You got anything to snack on?
MELISSA: (grabbing the pickle jar and straining to open it) Oh, pickles! Unnhhhh! It's a tough one.
JERRY: Look, please stop! Let me help you with that!
MELISSA: (finally opening the jar) Unnnnh! Oooh. That's gonna leave a welt. Look at that.
JERRY: (leaving the room) I can't. I can't look anymore. I-I-I've seen too much....
JERRY: Well, I hit the wall yesterday with Lady Godiva. She did a full body flex on a pickle jar.
I'm picturing men and not women going for this. But it's the men I'm worried about getting... entangled in the machines.
By the way, I see that the "Seinfeld" script never uses the word "nude." It's "naked" every single time. There must be some serious comic research on which words are funnier, and "naked" is funnier than "nude." "Nudes" are serious -- they pose for artists, they have a solemnity and purpose. "Naked" -- it's just an adjective with no corresponding noun. You have to say "naked people." "Naked" has much more potential to be embarrassing and ridiculous.