December 14, 2006

The tallest man in the world saves dolphins...

... by reaching down into their stomachs with his extra long arms and pulling out the shards of plastic they'd swallowed:
The mammals had lost their appetite and were suffering depression, aquarium officials said.

The heads of the dolphins were held back and towels wrapped around their teeth so [Bao Xishun] could not be bitten.
So he's saved -- and cheered up -- the dolphins. Thanks, world's tallest man. How tall is he? He's 7 foot 8.95, just 2 mm taller than the guy who -- before Bao grew -- was the world's tallest man. That's got to be annoying for Mr. Second Tallest. I'll bet from day to day your height varies a millimeter or so. He must brood about remeasuring. He could save the dolphins too. Does Bao really have the world's longest arms?

27 comments:

Dave said...

Yao Ming, Shawn Bradley, Manut Bol are all over 7'6"

I would bet their arms, if not as long or longer that a 7'8" guy's are at least very close in length. A shorter Chinese basketball player's arm span is given as 8 feet in length.

Dave said...

Correction: the basketball player with the 8 foot wingspan is Iranian.

No word on whether he believes the Holocaust is a myth.

AllenS said...

The big question is why Ann put arms in italics.

Goesh said...

-nuthin' worse than a depressed dolphin but then I suppose I would'nt be too chipper with a bunch of plastic in my gut either..if I'm not mistaken, Mr. 2cd tallest just had a pituitary procedure done to stop his growth.

No word if either or both will vote for Ms. Ann...

Goesh said...

I can't help but wonder and I know darn well I'm not the only one wondering about the length of a certain other feature of his anatomy...

AllenS said...

Thanks, Goesh, for not putting anatomy in italics.

Tibore said...

Sorry, not impressed. Veterinarians stick their arms up pregnant horses and cows (*CENSORED*) all the time to turn foals and calves, but do they get any BBC stories about them? Noooooo.

Oh, I forgot: Dolphins are supposed cute and cuddly, not to mention intelligent...

Pogo said...

Goesh, I'm pretty sure it means his legs are pretty long, too.

Tibore said...

Hey dave, don't forget Gheorghe Muresan, 7' 7" basketball player and Billy Crystal's giant.

Although Muresan's wingspan's only (!) 7' 10".

Funny story about him: Apparently on NBA draft day, when shown ambling at a slow pace towards the stage, some general manager turned to a reporter and said "That's about as fast as he sprints, too."

Poor guy.

And last: Sports Illustrated is saying that Manute Bol's wingspan is an insane 10 feet!! (Source). Was trying to verify that story (or myth) I heard about him hanging his front teeth on the rim while dunking when I came across that. Wow!

Anonymous said...

Wife had friend who worked at Boston Aquarium. Took care of dolphins. Animal worshipers were outside protesting that Defense Department was going to take dolphin from aquarium to train. Mean Defense Department. Poor nice dolphin.

Friend says: can't wait to get rid of that bastard. Tries to hump me every time I get in the tank with him. Almost drowned me half a dozen times. Hope they strap a bomb to him.

Ann Althouse said...

I wonder if he wore rubber gloves... really long ones.

Ann Althouse said...

Tibore: A vagina doesn't have teeth. And thinking of the two passageways, I think it would be much harder to reach into a stomach!

Ann Althouse said...

Sippican: That's Zipper.

Mortimer Brezny said...

This post is making me think my post the other day would have been perfectly appropriate. And it was perfectly ribald, as the word verification was vyyccgna. I often forget just how naughty this blog is. I wonder if there is a Naughtiest Law Professor Award.

I think it would be much harder to reach into a stomach!

Not if you have the proper lubrication. I would imagine stomachs are much more acidic and so reaching into a stomach is riskier. Though I suppose that depends on diet.

Goesh said...

- I'll take a 'v-----' any day over stomach acid and sharp teeth...

Elmondohummus said...

Wasn't trying to say vets were reaching into a more dangerous... *ahem*... spot. I was trying to say that vets reach inside animals all the time, Bao Xishun only had to do it that one time when they sent for him, but who gets all the press?

Besides, teeth aren't the only worry. When you're elbow or bicep deep inside a mare and she decides she's mad and tries to move... well, unless they anesthetize the animal (do they?? I don't know...) and/or strap her down somehow, the vet may end up with a dislocated shoulder. Or worse. Yow! That'd be hell.

Elmondohummus said...

Aw, man! dave, Manute Bol's on the skids:

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/magazine/06/26/where.manute/

http://rimrattle.blogspot.com/2006/10/sad-story-of-former-and-tallest-nba.html

I had no idea... man, that sucks.

Coco said...

Elmo - if the vet in question was the tallest person in the world, his or her mammal spelunking would be top shelf news as well.

Your posts, however, remind me why I never became a vet and why I never shake their hands.

John Hawks said...

Height varies by a half-inch to an inch over the course of every day; taller in the morning and shorter at night.

Susan said...

Tibore,
There was that series about vets, All Creatures Great and Small, on the BBC. Though the books had a lot more "mammal spelunking" than the series.

Anonymous said...

Sippican: That's Zipper.

Phew. Thanks. I usually check after I go.

What's that stuck to my shoe?

Ann Althouse said...

It's a reference to Zipper, the evil counterpart of Flipper. From a comedy routine I like (by Brian Regan).

Tibore said...

And Bam! This is what happens when I comment on different sites with different logins and don't pay attention when I switch back and forth. That creepy ElMondoHummus fellow who writes like me ;) sneaks in and usurps my comments...

Anyway...

Mammal spelunking?... OhMiGod! I nearly did a spit take with my taco when I read that! What dank, dark, twisted part of your soul did you draw that phrase from? I can't stop laughing at it!

Not to mention the fact that I now can't picture vets without thinking of them wearing those hard hat lights and climbing gear when walking to a mare's stall...

Bo Steed said...

I am tired of everybody being so concerned about Height!

Anonymous said...

"What is that, a Titleist?"

Tibore said...

You know, after reading about tall-man gullet drops, shoulder length gloves, bomb-strapped horny dolphins and... ummm... mammal spelunking (Gawd, I can't stop laughing)... I feel so... I don't know... soiled

Yet, I enthusiastically come back for more on this topic. Whaddasdat say about me?

Harry Eagar said...

I doubt he's really the tallest man in the world. I shook the hand of a man who went by the name Harry Huge about 40 years ago. He was 8' 8" or thereabouts. Made his living opening grocery stores and stuff like that.