November 2, 2006

"It's an attack on my character, and it's very embarrassing, and an insult."

Said Al Argibay, a corrections officer, who got escorted out of his gym for grunting. He joined a no-grunting gym. End of story! The fact that you're a corrections officer -- "after serving your community as a corrections officer, the last thing I want is to be escorted out of the gym by the local authorities" -- doesn't matter. The fact that a no-grunting policy seems absurd... doesn't matter. You joined the no-grunting group. You have to play by the rules you agreed to and that the other members paid to benefit from. I'll bet in your corrections officer role you enforce some rules against people who find those rules absurd and whose objections you find laughably irrelevant.

26 comments:

Randy said...

You have to play by the rules you agreed to and that the other members paid to benefit from.

Rules are for other people, not for me.

-Epitaph for my generation

Joseph said...

Reminds me of one of my favorite Seinfeld episodes, where George gets booted from his gym for peeing in the shower. George later complains to Jerry that everybody does it and, besides, its unhealthy to hold it when you have to pee. Jerry says, "Oh, and standing in a pool of your own urine, that's healthy!"

Meade said...

Alright so some people like to grunt while squatting.

Also known as Valsalva maneuver, it's generally a bad habit that can lead to dizziness, fainting, and even stroke. But, hey, to each his own.

Looks to me like a golden opportunity for some smart entrepreneur to open a new specialty gym down the street from Planet Fitness.

Make it affordable and convenient (with an emergency room attached).

Call it Planet Grunt & Pee In the Shower.

Laura Reynolds said...

Reminds me of those women's tennis matches. Who was it? Monica Seles? It was very loud and distracting, every stroke was accompanied by a yelp.

Guys who grunt in the gym, almost as bad as not wiping your sweat, another Seinfeld topic.

Dad said...

Valsalva would require not grunting. Grunting, expelling air, thus relieving pressure, lessens the valsalva effect.

Anonymous said...

"Call it Planet Grunt & Pee In the Shower."

Heck, why not just call it Planet of the Apes?

tjl said...

Argibay's fate sounds excessive and silly if you aren't a regular gym-goer. If you are a gym rat, you'll understand why the rule was in place and why it had to be enforced. There are in fact some people who can't get through a workout without lots of loud, distracting grunting. Not only is it annoying to other members, but it's potentially dangerous. Free-weight workouts demand concentration and due attention to proper form; if something makes you lose your focus, you have a greater chance of injuring yourself. What happened to Argibay is not just overzealous enforcement of decorum, it's necessary for the safety of the other members.

reader_iam said...

Rules are rules. You signed up for 'em, you live by 'em.

That said, man, do we like to set rules for everything. Such irony, really--and it cracks me up, even as I run in the other direction (good exercise!).

Now, if only I could find a gym with "rules" against gossiping, sniping, giving variations of "the look" and stuff like that.

LOL.

vh: biorcwm

Anonymous said...

If you'd like me to lift something heavy, I'm going to need to get paid.

I'd like to see the money up front. Nothing personal. I accept paypal and all major credit cards.

Anonymous said...

I went to the gym once in Boston. John Kerry was grunting in there. They asked him to stop. He said George Bush was making him grunt. That didn't wash, so he claimed it wasn't grunting, and the grunting that wasn't grunting wasn't his fault, that he was just singing a Russell Crowe song and was misunderstood by those who aren't real men and never grunted before in their lives.

Anthony said...

Some of these gym rules can be sorta idiotic. Back in the late '80s I tried a Bally's for a bit (free week's pass) and discovered that shorts were not allowed. I guess all the wimminfolk got all squicked out because flesh might occasionally come in contact with the equipment.

Personally, I'm more irritated by the bozos who yak on their cell phones the entire time they're "working out".

AllenS said...

Not only is he a grunter, but he has facial hair!

[See previous topic]

KCFleming said...

Ah, the femininization of society has even reached the gymnasium workout. I was not aware of this variant. Notice that rules against 'muscleheads' are primarily rules against male conduct. Rather than say "boys not allowed", they proscribe average boy behavior.

Well, big deal, it's their turf; he can work out alone or start his own club I suppose. But criminey, what a PC joke Planet Fitness is. Why not just open a Curves and be done with it?

Well, at least he didn't smoke there. Man, the cops probably would've shot him.

goesh said...

Sounds like a typical John Kerry supporter if you ask me. Lurch alert! Man punished for grunting when the sign clearly meant no groaning allowed. What macho man who can hadle 500 lbs wants to be around wimps anyway? Let those with limp wrists and light on their feet fluff around and press those 2 lb. weights to their hearts content. Go where the men have hair on their chests and freely fart.

Al Maviva said...

Ugh.

Sixty Bricks said...

I hope that gym goes bankrupt.

John Stodder said...

At my gym, you can't grunt, so instead all the competitive weightlifters say things like "land o'mercy!" and "fiddle-dee-dee!"

A committee has been formed to determine if this violates the policy.

Dad said...

Zach-Which of the many posts at that URL is the most surreal you have ever read?


I loved listening to Monica Seles grunt.

TMink said...

Good laughs from the posts! I always heard more of a shriek from Monica Seles. A really butch shriek mind you, but a little too much treble for a true grunt.

Trey

Harkonnendog said...

"After serving your community as a corrections officer?"

The guy's a prison guard and he wants extra credit? What kind of crap is that?

Joe Giles said...

The guy should have gotten a better education, instead of getting stuck in a prison job. Like George Bush. [insert laughtrack]

Freeman Hunt said...

Why would a man who is serious about bodybuilding join a "no grunting" gym? A man lifting to failure is usually going to grunt. Then again, perhaps the gym could have handled that, but he was one of those screaming grunt types...

TMink said...

What Cedarford said. Great post.

Trey

Anonymous said...

You need to be especially vigilant about people grunting in the shower rooms in gyms. Always immediately respond to any grunting noises you hear when you are in these areas:

"How about a courtesy flush, huh?"

TMink said...

Hmmm. I wonder how a big strong power lifter and prison guard can be so, well, sensitive. I want macho dudes and dudettes as prison guards, not whining cry babies who talk about their hurt when someone says something that makes them feel uncomfortable! Save that for Oprah.

Trey

TMink said...

NO WAY am I telling this guy to his face! I am a chicken shit 46 year old who sits on his ass and listens to people's problems!

I am laughing so hard I can barely type this!

Funny.

Trey