February 19, 2006

"To resolve problems through negotiation is a very childish approach."

The Maharishi Mahesh Yogi has a plan to save the world:
Physically isolated from all but a handful of attendants, Maharishi contemplates the lessons of the Vedas, the vast Sanskrit canon compiled some 3,500 years ago. From it, he evolves solutions for today's troubled world:
•Tear down major structures — the White House and the United Nations among them — and rebuild them according to Vedic architectural plans that harmonize construction with nature.

•Send meditation groups to world hot spots as psychic shock troops whose combined positive energy will dispel negativity, reduce crime, ease conflict and promote world peace.

•And his latest project: a $10 trillion plan to eradicate poverty.

A prominently displayed advertisement has run daily since mid-December in the International Herald Tribune seeking investors of a minimum $60,000 for a World Peace Bond, promising a 10 to 15 percent annual return.

His idea is to buy 5 billion acres in 100 developing countries for labor-intensive farming, providing employment and income for the world's poorest people by feeding the First-World market for organic food.

The ads so far have failed to produce any takers. "We don't expect anything so soon. Because the project is big, people have to examine it from their different angles," said project director Benny Feldman, a Mexican economist.

Governments can't do it, Maharishi believes. Neither can they bring peace: "To resolve problems through negotiation is a very childish approach."

A few hundred meditators on either side of a conflict is all that's needed to create an aura of peace.
So, away with childish approaches. Get that $10 trillion and run with it. After examining it from different angles, of course. We First-Worlders await the tasty fruits and veggies.

10 comments:

JP said...

$10 trillion? That's about a sixth of total world GDP.

PDS said...

And I thought Yogi Berra was the one who said the absurd non-sequitors.

Gerry said...

Sexy Sadie what have you done
You made a fool of everyone
You made a fool of everyone
Sexy Sadie ooh what have you done.

Sexy Sadie you broke the rules
You layed it down for all to see
You layed it down for all to see
Sexy Sadie oooh you broke the rules.

One sunny day the world was waiting for a lover
She came along to turn on everyone
Sexy Sadie the greatest of them all.

Sexy Sadie how did you know
The world was waiting just for you
The world was waiting just for you
Sexy Sadie oooh how did you know.

Sexy Sadie you'll get yours yet
However big you think you are
However big you think you are
Sexy Sadie oooh you'll get yours yet.

We gave her everything we owned just to sit at her table
Just a smile would lighten everything
Sexy Sadie she's the latest and the greatest of them all.

She made a fool of everyone
Sexy Sadie.

However big you think you are
Sexy Sadie.

EddieP said...

Think of all the communes and collectivist farms one could assemble with $10,000,000,000,000 dollars. Imagine all the bureaucrats and their VIP lounges and flagged Benz's and motorcycle escorts one could provide. "From each according to his ability to each according to his need".....Picture the Workers Paradise. Whatta dream. too bad Karl and Kofi beat him to it.

Matt Brown said...

I'm not sensing any "aura of peace" around the people who have commented here thus far.

Matt Roth-Cline said...

I love how all these plans to save the world basically amount to, "do what I want".

Matt Roth-Cline said...

"A few hundred meditators on either side of a conflict is all that's needed to create an aura of peace."

To bastardize Shakespeare:
First thing we do, let's shoot all the mediators.

Henry said...

I pick option two. I think we can keep that one under budget.

P. Froward said...

"Labor-intensive farming"? Hasn't that been tried in the third world already?

Anyhow. In the last elections in Australia, their Green party's platform called for abolishing the military and instead giving everybody training in "nonviolent conflict resolution" — or in real terms, some random arbitrary nonsense bearing that label. Symbols with no known referents are, like, better and stuff, because they're uncorrupted by compromises with this sinful world we live in.

P. Froward said...

Actually, there is one form of "nonviolent conflict resolution" that's been shown to work in many cases: A credible threat of massive violence.

But I don't think something like the Strategic Air Command is what they had in mind.