October 31, 2005

"I see you're in full pumpkin mode."

Is it okay to say that to a colleague who is quite pregnant and wears a bright orange sweater on Halloween?

26 comments:

Goesh said...

Of course - haven't you ever seen folk art motifs women have finger painted on their swollen stomachs? Your colleague should have used a black magic marker and made a proper jack-o-lantern out of herself.

Troy said...

That's OK Ann, but stay away from Barney comments or (for my fellow Gen X'ers) Grape Ape references and purple sweaters.

Sean E said...

What about to someone who isn't pregnant?

Eddie said...

Yeah, I think that's a bigger sin if it turns out she isn't actually pregnant.

Robert said...

No, just look at her in shock and say "wow, orange makes you look really heavy!"

That will win you a friend!

mcg said...

I would be dissapointed if you didn't, Ann. :)o

John(classic) said...

It was 28 years ago that I said to a female friend on seeing her three years after her wedding:

"Wow, you are expecting. When is the baby due?"

She wasn't, and I am only now recovering from the look she gave me.

Rules for Men #32: "Never ever make any comment whatsover on a pregnancy unless it is your mate's in which case it is 'wonderful' and makes her 'even more beautiful'"

JBlog said...

Definitively no -- especially if you're a man.

She could be nine-and-a-half months pregnant - heck, she could be in the stirrups DELIVERING the child -- and unless she has specifically told you personally that's she's pregnant, you're not even supposed to know.

And then, when she tells you, the only appropriate response is total surprise -- "I had no idea. You look great..."

There afterwards, your job is to continue to tell her she looks great, her color is good, etc., and to inquire if she is sleeping well.

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

Ann Althouse said...

I know she's pregnant or I would never...

JBlog said...

You're also a woman, so you might get away with it.

As a man, I would never.

It's not fair, but it's the way it is.

Synova said...

LOL! Excellent.

I wouldn't say it to a stranger, of course, or to someone I know wouldn't think it was funny.

The propriety is definately situational. :-)

Ruth Anne Adams said...

Was the comment met with a pregnant pause?

Dale B said...

Such an idea would not have occurred to me in the first place. But if it had I would have kept it to myself.

Tom said...

My wife loved being pregnant for the first 33 weeks and loved sly little references like that taking note of her pregnancy. So no, she would not have objected.

And those last three weeks? We never speak of them.

Pogo said...

It is not only forbidden but foolish for a male to remark upon a woman's fashion, shape, weight, or expectancy.

No, no, never, ever. Uh uh uh.

Harkonnendog said...

HAHAHAHA!
Not only is it okay, it is awesome!

Steve Donohue said...

I think it's funny, but it really depends on the person. I know some women who really wouldn't enjoy that. I would have to imagine that its easy to get over-sensitive about your body during pregnancy. Of ocurse, I may and probably will never find out.

jeff said...

I would definitely want to make sure that that was the effect the person was going for...

...and they'd have to be more than a casual acquaintence.

One gal at work today wore a early 70's "Dancin to Jimi" type mini-dress with a big peace symbol and a seriously vertical blonde wig... she took it almost to the point of satire. And she didn't appreciate a couple of co-worker's "bimbo" comments (I don't know the context, I didn't hear the comments themselves).

Jennifer said...

Right, because after you've been pregnant for what seems like FOREVER, the one thing you haven't got enough of is comments about your size! Heh heh heh.

That said, this woman MUST have been going for that look, so your comment is both appropriate and hilarious.

somross said...

It would be fun if we could post Halloween photos here....especially of the Preggo Lantern.

vbspurs said...

Is it okay to say that to a colleague who is quite pregnant and wears a bright orange sweater on Halloween?

I have thought, and thought and thought about this, and concluded, if you are known as a jokey type of woman at the Uni, you could indeed get away with saying that.

But if you're known as some kind of humourless, competitive hard-arse, then it doesn't matter what you say.

BTW, you know what a link-whore I am, but my Halloween costumes post is too good to pass up.

It's even got one of someone dressed as Bob Dylan!

(Check out the Judy Miller one too. Shame no one got it)

Cheers,
Victoria

vbspurs said...

Right, because after you've been pregnant for what seems like FOREVER, the one thing you haven't got enough of is comments about your size! Heh heh heh.

Come on, Jennifer.

If the lady's HUSBAND had said it, then it would've been, pardon the expression, below the belt.

That said, this woman MUST have been going for that look, so your comment is both appropriate and hilarious.

And you know what? If she had complained to Ann (which I take she did not, or else she would've posted it), the only pithy rejoinder would've been,

"Yeah, I'm in full pumpkin mode. And I see you came as a pregnant chad"

Florida recount jokes are ALWAYS funny.

Cheers,
Victoria

Jennifer said...

Come on, Jennifer.

If the lady's HUSBAND had said it, then it would've been, pardon the expression, below the belt.


Victoria, I didn't mean that one gets offended by size jokes - at least I never did. I meant only that they are akin to name jokes...after a while you've heard them ALL...many, many, many times. :)

Finn Kristiansen said...

That's cute.

chuck b. said...

Me, I would never say anything about a pregnant woman's appearance unless she was a close relative or a close friend who had talked to me about her pregnancy recently--even if one might reasonably believe she invited comments by wearing something like you describe.

Too much potential for misunderstanding.

vbspurs said...

That's cute.

Finn! What's up? You were sure gone a while.

I referenced you, believe it or not, during Ann's Danish Government Sex Programme blogposts (wait, it'll make sense in a moment).

I wanted you to comment on them specifically, since I erroneously thought you were Danish. Turns out, you're of Norwegian provenance.

Though you can still comment!

Cheers,
Victoria