October 7, 2005

"He is the box."

Said by me in a discussion just now with a colleague. Topic: how Harriet Miers will behave if she gets to the Supreme Court. The "he" is Justice Scalia.

IN THE COMMENTS: Some very funny efforts at constructing the dialogue that led up to my punchline, which leads one reader to observe: "Hey! This is Ann's on-line, nerdy version of 'The Aristocrats'!"

40 comments:

SippicanCottage said...
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Ann Althouse said...

Oh, your translations will be more amusing than the actual context, which I'll reveal eventually.

Kurt said...

I'd guess that the context had something to do with thinking outside of the box, or with Ms. Miers not seeming like an outside of the box thinker.

lindsey said...

Scalia will imprison her in his box!

OddD said...

The Prof is fooling us with a homonym. It's not "He is the box" but "He is the Bachs", a term used by urban (or "street") harpsichordists to say someone is worthy of respect.

It was probably said in some context like "She is the Scarlatti, he is the Bachs".

Pastor_Jeff said...

It's a reference to a scene from The Princess Bride:

Miracle Max (Billy Crystal): Go away or I'll call the Brute Squad.
Fezzik (Andre the Giant): I'm on the Brute Squad.
Miracle Max: You are the Brute Squad.

Lawprof 1: How would Miers rule? Will she think outside the box?
Lawprof 2: Scalia will keep her in the box.
Prof. Althouse: Scalia is the box.

Jacques Cuze said...

Hmm, at the risk of bannination, I assumed you were using a the hip urbandictionary definition of box in lieu of the Britspeak that is invading America.

As in

"Lawprof 1: Scalia didn't show up for Robert's oath. What a useless c___"
"Althouse: Yep. He is the box."

(Links go to the urban dictionary and to reality based Kevin Drum)

SippicanCottage said...
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Pastor_Jeff said...

Lawprof 1: Did you see Miers standing next to Hatch? How tall is she, anyway?

Lawprof 2: If she gets on the court, she'll have to stand on a box to see over the bench.

Prof. Althouse: Scalia is the box.

Goatwhacker said...

I'm thinking along the lines of "the walrus is Paul" mystery of the Beatles. Perhaps the entire phrase was "he is the box, goo goo g’joob g’goo goo g’joob".

Pastor_Jeff said...

Lawprof 1: So where do you think they'd let Miers play on the SCOTUS soccer team? I guess she could be a defender.

Lawprof 2: Maybe goalie?

Prof. Althouse: Are you kidding? Nino owns the box. He is the box.

Ann Althouse said...

Au contraire, Quxxo, that was your best comment ever.

Pastor Jeff is doing very well!

SMGalbraith said...

Judge Roberts testified that he saw his role as a Justice as that of an umpire, a disinterested arbiter of the contest.

But the contest doesn't start, the game doesn't begin until the batter steps into the box, which limits where the batter can stand and where the strike zone is located.

Scalia's the box.

Steve Donohue said...

Wisconsin law professors discuss the annual SCOTUS "How to correctly ship fragile items using USPS" pageant at local post offices in DC.

Law Prof 1: "I know Stevens usually plays the padded manilla envelope. Souter plays the foam packing peanuts. Maybe Miers will be the box- wasn't O'Connor the box?

Althouse: "NO! Scalia was the box. Correction- Scalia IS the box!"

Pastor_Jeff said...

These are all good.

Hey! This is Ann's on-line, nerdy version of The Aristocrats!

Which I haven't seen, btw. But if you want to read something really inspired...

"The Aristocrats" as I Think Bob Newhart Would Perform It (link sfw)

SippicanCottage said...
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alikarimbey said...

Bush asked all his male SC candidates for the first seat about their exercise plans. There was a long story (front page) on Judge Harvie. Bush scolded him when the judge said he did not cross-train.

Why no question to HM? Is Bush discriminating against women? That is, women do not deserve to be fit? This explains his reluctance on title 9. Off with Bush. HM needs to withdraw. Bush needs to find a woman who exercises. Period. End of story. That is the litmus test --

Q: So you exercise daily?
A: Yes, Mr. Bush, I spend each day about two-hours excercising.

Great, Judge, you are hired for SC.

Art said...

"Close the box"

--Senor Wences

SippicanCottage said...
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Mark the Pundit said...

Best I can do is Forrest Gump.

Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are gonna get. Well, if Scalia is "the box," we know what we are getting now, don't we?

SippicanCottage said...
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Ron said...

You say Nino, I think Rota,
But I think Rota, and then I think Court-a,
Thus Scalia is still in the box.

Ron said...

Scalia!
I just read a judge named Scalia,
Despite what I have found,
my land may not belong to me!

Scalia! I just read a judge named Scalia,
His arguments were sound,
But still they may take away my property!

Scalia!
Say it loud, and you hear donkeys braying!
Say it soft, and by law...it's like praying!

Scalia!
I just read a judge named Scalia!


[sung to the tune of "Maria", from West Side Story]

SippicanCottage said...
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Pastor_Jeff said...

Sippican is on a roll. And he got me thinking...

In the courthouse stands a boxer, and a jurist by his trade,
And he carries the reminders
of the 5-4 rulings that laid him down and cut him
’til he cried out in his anger and his shame,
"If she's coming, I am leaving,"
but Miers still remains...

Li la li...

SippicanCottage said...
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Ron said...

This thread has become all-singing, all-dancing Althouse, all the time!

Jim Gust said...

as someone was quoted in the nytimes, blogs are fun.

peter hoh said...

The UW lawprofs cover as many learning modalities they can during the faculty meeting. They've just wrapped up the finger painting module, and now they've started the environmental awareness role-playing game, in which the members of the Supreme Court are represented by various turtles.

Lawprof 1: Since he's the oldest Justice, Stevens is played by the Galapagos tortoise. The snapping turtle should play the part of Scalia, and Ginsberg is the painted turtle.

Lawprof2: That's sexist. Make Souter the painted turtle.

Lawprof 1: But I thought Souter was the box turtle.

Lawprof 2: No. And the painted turtle can't be Thomas, 'cause that would be racist. Thomas is the snapper.

Lawprof 1: What about Scalia?

Prof. Althouse: He is the box.

Henry said...

I recall this scene from Splash that professor Althouse and her colleagues were paraphrasing. Tom Hanks gives Darryl Hannah a gift-wrapped packaged. She stares at it, entranced. "Oh, it's beautiful."

Professor Costello: "Miers, she's just gift wrap. The President expects everyone to love the gift wrap instead of thinking of the present."

Professor Althouse: "Originalists are hoping the gift is a Thomas."

Professor Costello; "What about Scalia?"

Professor Althouse: "Scalia is the box."

Ruth Anne Adams said...
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Ann Althouse said...

What! I'm enjoying the game.

Anyway, I've already indicated Pastor Jeff got it nearly right in his first comment.

Ruth Anne Adams said...
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peter hoh said...

This has been a fun thread. Mad props out to Sippican for the rewrite of "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds."

FWIW, a Google Blog search lists 387 results for "Scalia box," and Ann's post is number 21.

SippicanCottage said...
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Pastor_Jeff said...

Sippican,

Thanks. Your version of L.S.D. cracked me up! I keep hearing it as the terrible William Shatner version from his vanity album.

And I'm still hoping my Miers anagram will catch on:

HARRIET ELLAN MIERS = HER LINER IS LAME ART

SippicanCottage said...
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Ann Althouse said...

Check out the Mojo list of 100 Greatest Guitarists. Jimmy Page is #7.

SippicanCottage said...
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Pastor_Jeff said...

Sippican,

I like it. Obviously, this is part of Bush's master plan for addressing Muslim terrorism. "Islam, learn her rite!"

Although our President more likey would have said, "Islam. Learn her right." (as in, "She done learned it real good")

How about:
Harriet Ellan Miers = Earthier Rain Smell

Mmmmmmmm. Rain smell...