May 3, 2005

"Very good, other than that the performance was a little robotic."

"American Idol." All the life ... all the love is gone. Only robots are left. Robots and earnest, nice, nice young people. That's what we've got. Yes, maybe there is some charge of masculine power in the nearly-thirty body of Bo. But, basically, this is nothingness. This is the worst season of "American Idol." Let me list the offenses in order.

1. Vonzell, on the second song, where she was allowed to sing anything currently on the charts, sang a song by the "American Idols" that happens to be charting, that we've heard done as a group sing, and that is -- most importantly -- a piece of crap. "Every time you touch me, I become a hero." It should be a crime to write lyrics like that. Vonzell is wearing a horrible brown dress and shrieking. And she seems to think that by blowing kisses and doing big, dimpled smiles that she can keep us in her camp. But no! No! Not acceptable!!

2. Carrie, singing Elvis's “Trouble”: “I’m eeeeeviiilllll." She’s not evil! That's her first song, where the theme is Leiber and Stoller. Later, she does some other song, some charting song, that elicits the quote I've used for the title to this post. Carrie exemplifies Season Four -- The Revenge of the Robots. The camera -- meaning to show us youthful beauty -- closes in on her spark-free eyes.

3. The general mass of featureless chaotic crooning and bellowing. I have individual notes on all the singers, but nothing worth posting. It was awful. Maybe Bo stood out a bit. "Stand By Me" is a nice enough song. But, no, I've got nothing useful to say.

4. Randy and Paula: Did you say anything worthwhile? Only Simon has any shred of honesty left. "Insipid, amateurish perfomance" -- he said that about one of the contestants, but really it could be a summary of the whole sorry series.

18 comments:

ploopusgirl said...
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Emily said...

I missed it tonight. I just got off the phone with my 18-year-old daughter, who is a harsh critic, and she loved it. She said that Bo, Carrie and Vonzell had breakout performances.

ploopusgirl said...
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Ann Althouse said...

Emily: Probably more CDs being bought by 18-year-olds, so maybe the show does hit where it should. I feel that the last character that touched me left last week, and now there's nothing left but the bellowing.

jennifer said...

And it's too bad too, considering this season initially had the makings of one of the best.

Sad.

Without Constantine (even though I'm more of a Bo girl) the energy got sucked right out of the game.

Irene Done said...

As for Scott's comment that tomorrow night at this time, he'll be wondering what song to sing next week: it's sad when the show's worst performer gets off the night's cleverest line.

But Paula seemed lucid!

Ann Althouse said...

Irene: I think Scott's nerve there might doom him. "The American people" tend to punish arrogance. If he's doing so well because he's the underdog, the arrogance thing can be especially bad.

As to Paula, she's probably gotten the message that she seems inappropriately befogged and is trying to be really clear.

ploopusgirl said...
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Lindybill said...

I think either Carrie or Bo should win. I am afraid that the "spoilers" are block voting to put Scott in as the winner. Could someone "robot vote" Scott into number one? I am not enought of a "techie" to know.

I am sure the producers are aware of what is going on and are trying to figure out how to stop it without ruining the show. Possibly a smaller "pipe" for Scott's call ins. But this would destroy the show if it got out.

Sorry to see you have a troll posting that is forcing you to take off posts. I hope you have a way to stop this person so that you don't have to tediously edit one at a time.

Ann Althouse said...

Bill: Re the troll -- I think it's just a young Carrie fan. Re who should win: I'm sure the show wants Carrie, which is one of the things that's made the show boring this year. They don't really want us to pick. They want us to agree. Because of that, for weeks, the only interesting thing to me (other than Constantine's witty send-up of the show) was to see them denied. At this point, the performances are so bad, the judges aren't even making fun of them anymore. If they told the truth, they'd be saying their entire show is bad.

Laura Reynolds said...

I'd have to think the producers have been disappointed in how this group has evolved. No one comes across as more talented than when the finalists were first picked. In part this is due to horrible song categories (and selections within those categories). What's also true is that for every Kelly Clarkson, there are thousands (millions!) of Scotts and Vonzells

Lindybill said...

I suspect that Bo would be the best bet for commercial success for Simon with the record contract. Constantine's outing was strange. Makes me suspect the mechanics of the voting. I think you are right about Carrie. She just doesn't have the "oomph" needed to make the audience connection.

Ann Althouse said...

Jult52: this is a figure/ground puzzle. What is the crap and what is the opposite of the crap? To me, Constantine leaped past the crap and made a cool witty comment on the environment in which he found himself. Liking the pedestrian contestants seems to me to be the biggest lapse in taste!

Ann Althouse said...

I think most people with artistic sensitivity could not make it through the weird pressure (even if they were wanted to do the show and really tried to win, which isn't a very artistic thing to do). I think they'd falter and freak out. Well, maybe they'd get "a little robotic"!

Dwight said...

After the discussion yesterday, I figured I would actually watch the show. I think it was only the second time I have. I missed the first 20 minutes or so (didn't figure in giving the kid a bath and getting him ready for bed), but I kept wanting Simon to make a comment about the singers mistaking volume for intensity. Maybe he's made that point before...

Internal Medicine Doctor said...

I absolutely agree with you and always felt the same way. Although simon can at times be especially harsh to contestents he is usually right on. Last night sucked!

the other two? well, I'm getting kinda tired of the whole dog pound thing and listening to a balding 40 year old man speak like that is really beggining to upset m. Randi, you're a role model to some people (I think) how about a little English.

Adam said...

The singer/songwriter/musician thing is why I loved the first season of Nashville Star so much. (Then they got rid of their best judge, and it all went to shit.)

Constantine, as Ann said, understood that he was playing a role and made sure we knew he knew it as well, but returning to "rock" just exposed it all too much.

Out of those remaining, Bo's the best at what he does, but I didn't think they were looking for that, because how the hell is he going to sing "I Believe In A Moment Like This I Am Flying Without Wings Before Your Love"?

I miss Mikalah.

Ann Althouse said...

Adam: Yeah, there was an earlier point on the show when things were kind of cool. And Mikalah was part of it. It gets grindingly serious in the end. Clay and Justin, in the first two seasons, kept our spirits up, you know. Now, it's just grim.