May 12, 2004

American Idol: 60 minutes of results.

Well, the results show tonight is an exercise in prolongation. We see the kids at the EW photo shoot. We see them pretending to love being told a bunch of nonsense by a psychic, including the priceless, "You're a cancer." Thanks! I suppose when they sign on to the show, they agree to everything, but it strikes me that a lot of the contestants are quite religious--church choirs being a common source of training--and that a psychic consultation would offend many religious persons. Here's this inane California-style psychic lady telling them about their past lives. They've repeatedly tagged Diana as an "old soul," and so forth. Well, I'm offended by psychics for any number of reasons.... Right now the height of cheesiness is being reached--or should I say cakiness?--Donna Summer is singing "MacArthur Park" and I don't think that I can take it because it took so long for me to forget about that song. I plugged my ears to disco in the 70s. I didn't even know this song had been discofied. I remember the original version by Richard Harris in the 60s, when it was a weird steaming pile of ... cake ... melting cake. But then there aren't enough songs about cake ... Why are you babbling? Because I'm simulblogging and they are insanely prolonging the reporting of a fact that could be said in two seconds. ... So... What did you think of Clay? Clay seemed a bit off tonight. He's lost his crispy freshness. And what was that thing he was singing? Some sort of song, apparently. He seemed strangely ill at ease. And he was wearing his glasses. Maybe he has some sort of dispute with the producers.... Ah, back from commercial. Diana safe. Fantasia, bottom two. And the other one in the bottom two: La Toya. Jasmine is safe. Note: I predicted this. The audience is booing--essentially booing Jasmine! That's cruel. The state of Hawaii loves that girl. Leave her alone. Ack! Another commercial break. Who will leave? I hope La Toya, because I just find Fantasia more interesting and exciting. And it's La Toya who's leaving. Leaving at number four: the Tamyra position. Good-bye, La Toya! Aw, Paula's crying. Group hug!

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